Tipping....should they be shared?

[joeypots]

  I waited and bar tended in school and for a few years after. A long time ago. In the best places we tipped out the bus and bartender. Tips made service people hustle but left us at the whim of lesser support staff. I remember the night a hostess sat 6 tables at the same time in my station. Back then in good restaurants we were the sales force of the establishment and could increase checks significantly by suggesting wine, appetizers and deserts.  In better restaurants waiters run a team and control the flow of tips. I'm all for this. In less expensive restaurants where the tips are apt to be less lucrative the restaurant probably should compensate the service staff better. I have no idea how to change the culture of tipping except to say if no one tipped it would change pretty quick. Tip jars at the cash register in places where tips aren't customary  don't get my dough. 

[BrightonCorgi]

I have a cousin who recently retired as a waiter from Capital Grill.  He use to make like 150K+ waiting tables.  One of Boston's most well known waiter's.  Every pro athlete on a Boston based team knows him as his Capital Grill location is on the way home from the Boston teams. 

He said you should never tip on dollar amount for wine.  "You have to be a fool" is his words tipping 15-20% on wine.  There's no difference to him opening a $50 bottle vs. $1,000 in service. 

 

[Meklown]

1 hour ago, SCgarman said:

It will never change as it's always been this way here in my country

I like how Americans then go and impose their way of life in other countries/societies 🤷‍♂️

[patrickamory]

1 minute ago, Meklown said:

I like how Americans then go and impose their way of life in other countries/societies 🤷‍♂️

To be fair, he was only talking about how it is in his own country, not imposing it on anywhere else (unless you're visiting: "when in Rome" goes both ways!)

[Fuzz]

Since you tip at restaurants/bars.... do you also tip at fast food stores? If not, why? Still being served food.

[gormag38]

8 hours ago, El Presidente said:

.....and that is why you will continue to get so little attention at Hooters 

hahaha---this had me rolling. 🤣

 

So I live in the US and have worked in the back of house from 2008-2011. Then the front of house from 2011-2021. At first as a server and then as a bartender in a high volume bar for the past nine years. Needless to say if people don't tip their server or bartender then they just worked with you for free. With that being said as a server we always kept our own tips. As a bartender (with 5 bartenders on at a time) we would take the cash at the end of the night, give 15% to a barback (does dishes, stocks, gets ice, gets more liquor) then divide up the rest of the cash by the hours everyone has worked. 

I'd also like to point out that everyone in the industry can usually pick out who is going to appreciate your time and who will not. (occasionally we're wrong, but not often). Right or wrong, that is how every bar/restaurant I've ever worked in has been. I often find myself wishing we'd adopt a policy that's similar to Europe or AUS. I think alot of these problems/sterotypes would go away. And FOH workers would better manage their money of long periods of time.

 However good service should ALWAYS be rewarded with financial compensation. Just my two cents. 

[Cigar Surgeon]

49 minutes ago, Fuzz said:

Since you tip at restaurants/bars.... do you also tip at fast food stores? If not, why? Still being served food.

If you're trying to find some sort of consistent logic for tipping culture, you're going to drive yourself nutter butters.

At the end of the day in North America there's a social contract for tipping. If you go to a restaurant and don't tip (assuming the service wasn't appalling) that does in fact make you a bad person. 

[Bijan]

51 minutes ago, Fuzz said:

Since you tip at restaurants/bars.... do you also tip at fast food stores? If not, why? Still being served food.

People used to at first apparently. The owners banned it and you can only do it surreptitiously. Same in a lot of other minimum wage service roles, workers are simply not allowed to accept tips and as a result people stop trying to tip and it becomes the norm.

[99call]

One of my brothers mates who was a tennis coach from the UK, went to the states for the first time. The story goes that he was at a tennis/country club in the Hamptons, and failed to tip a barman for a coke (at this time tipping in the UK didn't really exist).  He said the barman went over to a brass bell on the wall and rang it.   He asked, "what does the bell mean?", and he said "we ring it when people don't tip".   

Although I do not know this guy directly, I have no reason to think he's lying (as its a pretty random story).   If this did happen, what I dick move. 

 

[Bijan]

12 minutes ago, 99call said:

He said the barman went over to a brass bell on the wall and rang it.   He asked, "what does the bell mean?", and he said "we ring it when people don't tip".   

Although I do not know this guy directly, I have no reason to think he's lying (as its a pretty random story).   If this did happen, what I dick move. 

Could be worse. Only time I've ever come across such a bell/chime it was a signal to physically coerce the perpetrator/guilty party. Edit: not at all in the context of restaurant service.

Reminds me of a story my dad told me about his boss in his youth receiving abysmal service and inedible food at a restaurant and saying he'd still pay anyways because he is a gentleman. The restaurant owner replied that he's lucky he's a gentleman or they'd have beaten the $41t out of him if he hadn't.

[BrightonCorgi]

14 minutes ago, 99call said:

One of my brothers mates who was a tennis coach from the UK, went to the states for the first time. The story goes that he was at a tennis/country club in the Hamptons, and failed to tip a barman for a coke (at this time tipping in the UK didn't really exist).  He said the barman went over to a brass bell on the wall and rang it.   He asked, "what does the bell mean?", and he said "we ring it when people don't tip".   

Although I do not know this guy directly, I have no reason to think he's lying (as its a pretty random story).   If this did happen, what I dick move. 

 

That is disgusting behavior by the barman.  How about just beat the patron up and take the money out of his wallet?  Then post the video on YouTube... 

 

[SCgarman]

2 hours ago, Meklown said:

I like how Americans then go and impose their way of life in other countries/societies 🤷‍♂️

If this is aimed at me, I don't impose my way of life on anybody. And it's not my place to go there.

Not sure where the American resentment comes from?

[Bijan]

8 minutes ago, SCgarman said:

If this is aimed at me, I don't impose my way of life on anybody. And it's not my place to go there.

Not sure where the American resentment comes from?

Reminds me of the south park episode where the kids go to Afghanistan:

Kyle

All right, I've had just about enough of this! They told us in school, and on TV, that most people in Pakistan and Afghanistan like America.

Boy in Blue Vest

And you believe it? It is not just the Taliban that hates America. Over a third of the world hates America!

Stan

But why? Why does a third of the world hate us?

Boy in Blue Vest

Because, you don't realize that a third of the world hates you!!!

Stan

[considers the argument...] ...That doesn't make sense. You guys are just buttholes!

Akmarh

You're butt-holes!

Stan, Kyle

You're buttholes!

No offense meant to either side. Just seems like that's the way things are.

[gormag38]

30 minutes ago, 99call said:

One of my brothers mates who was a tennis coach from the UK, went to the states for the first time. The story goes that he was at a tennis/country club in the Hamptons, and failed to tip a barman for a coke (at this time tipping in the UK didn't really exist).  He said the barman went over to a brass bell on the wall and rang it.   He asked, "what does the bell mean?", and he said "we ring it when people don't tip".   

Although I do not know this guy directly, I have no reason to think he's lying (as its a pretty random story).   If this did happen, what I dick move. 

 

For a coke this is absolutely ridiculous. Unfortunately there's a lot of crappy people in the US who don't tip (or just tip like crap), so public embarrassment (like a bell) is a way to dissuade others from doing the same.

I just wish that he didn't do it to a unknowing guest in our country.....helps give us Americans a bad name abroad. 

 

[99call]

2 minutes ago, gormag38 said:

I just wish that he didn't do it to a unknowing guest in our country.....helps give us Americans a bad name abroad. 

I don't think he took it personally, but yeah I think the biggest take-away from that story is the guy would have had an obvious British accent, an you would have hoped that an alternative nice scenario may have been

Bloke :        Could I get a coke please

Barman :    There you go.....$$ please

Bloke :       Here you are $$

Barman :    Where are you from? is it your first time in the states?

Bloke :       The UK......yes

Barman :    Please do not take this the wrong way, but be aware during the rest of your stay, that it is customary to tip for most things in the US (then proceed to tell them a range of % for various things)

Who knows that bit of advice may of gotten that barman the juiciest tip of the day.....he'll never know

[RedLantern]

Yeah I got no respect for servers that make a comment to the customer or ring a bell or any other such childish behavior for a bad tip. It’s part of the game. Gotta take the L sometimes. If you can’t control yourself and take a bad beat every once in a while, it’s not the right job for you. 

[...]

Prickly subject it seems, loads of opinion from a variety of cultures where tipping practices may vary. Worked in the kitchen myself for about 5 years as a teen/young adult in a variety of restaurants from fast food to high end. Considering only countries where tipping is expected for restaurant and bar service, I agree with some that the system is arbitrary at best.

I am not sure which option would be best to fix the issue but I would prefer, as a consumer, to have the service included in the price of the food/drinks and the staff reasonably paid for their work. 

[RedLantern]

5 hours ago, Fuzz said:

Since you tip at restaurants/bars.... do you also tip at fast food stores? If not, why? Still being served food.

A cashier is not a server.

[NSXCIGAR]

4 hours ago, therealrsr said:

When cash ruled supreme tipping was preferred over salary in the states due to declaring.

Indeed, waitstaff and bartenders used to be considered very well paid even with the lower "tipped employee" wage which in the 1980s in Massachusetts was about $1 an hour. No one was complaining in the 1980s, I can tell you that. In a moderately busy restaurant in the 1980s a server could easily take home $80 a night--most of that tax free. With inflation that's about $200 today. Not bad for a low-skill job.

Also, in my day, tipping a bartender was in your benefit. In a busy bar a good tipper would get the bartender's attention. Also, before the times of liquor bottle controls and meters a good tipper would usually get their third drink on the house or a stronger drink. 

[BrightonCorgi]

21 minutes ago, NSXCIGAR said:

Also, in my day, tipping a bartender was in your benefit. In a busy bar a good tipper would get the bartender's attention. Also, before the times of liquor bottle controls and meters a good tipper would usually get their third drink on the house or a stronger drink. 

MA still has no liquor bottle controls or meters.  Tip very large on the first round and then let reciprocity & good will take its place for the rest of the night.

Ask for port wine in a red wine glass 😉

[joeypots]

48 minutes ago, NSXCIGAR said:

Indeed, waitstaff and bartenders used to be considered very well paid even with the lower "tipped employee" wage which in the 1980s in Massachusetts was about $1 an hour. No one was complaining in the 1980s, I can tell you that. In a moderately busy restaurant in the 1980s a server could easily take home $80 a night--most of that tax free. With inflation that's about $200 today. Not bad for a low-skill job.

 

2.13$/hour in the early '80s, If I remember correctly in Massachusetts. My credit card tips would be listed on my pay check and the hourly wage would rarely pay the taxes due. Cash tips were supposed to be declared but I don't know of anyone who didn't fudge that #.

[Ken Gargett]

i used to work service during uni. one place put me off eating out for four years, when i saw what went on. 

happy to tip for good service. happy to make it obvious i am not, if the service is poor. nothing pisses me off more than a place automatically adding a tip, especially if there was no indication they would do so. that normally gets removed. and then more than happy to discuss it. always assumed that was done at least partly so the boss could share in the tip. 

i remember one night many years ago at a sydney superstar restaurant with a chef no longer in sydney but world famous. bill came to $202, quite a lot in those days as it was byo. we all tossed in a $100 note. this was my second time there. the first time it had ended with me and an absolute tosser waiter standing toe to toe screaming at each other - i believe the kitchen very quickly sorted him when he went back there, but going this second time was not my choice. anyway, we were about to leave when i realised we'd not been offered change (this time it was not me but another of the three of us who had ended the evening in a disagreement with the staff). the waiter, who under no definition of optimism can genuinely have thought he was getting a tip, especially one of that magnitude, said he assumed it was the gratuity. he was told to march back and bring us every cent. he made it clear we were not top of his list for return visits. we made it clear he need have no concerns. 

strange. this chef is world famous and i have friends who know him well. he is considered one of the genuinely nice guys in the industry. but it suspect he had no idea how dreadful his staff was. 

but as for splitting, there should be a policy in place and all the staff aware of it. if not, very tough to suddenly tell staff they have to share what was given to them, especially if it has not been happening. i would argue that if not a policy in place, the staff could tell them to shove it. 

[LordAnubis]

2 hours ago, clint said:

I think it should be mandatory to tip Di for every purchase.  😀

That is a super cool point... which tippers among us tip Di ? if not why not? 

I just dont get the difference, a cashier at mcdonalds is giving your drunk ass/annoying as hell kids service with a smile, cleaning the tables, emptying rubbish, and providing EXACTLY what the restaurant serves (FAST food)... so why no tip?

Im curious to understand who does and doesnt get tipped? Do you tip a plumber? street vendor? taxi driver? school teacher? whats the definition ofa tipping industry? 

[Bijan]

2 minutes ago, LordAnubis said:

I just dont get the difference, a cashier at mcdonalds is giving your drunk ass/annoying as hell kids service with a smile, cleaning the tables, emptying rubbish, and providing EXACTLY what the restaurant serves (FAST food)... so why no tip?

As I said previously people did tip at first but McDonald's would rather sell you more junk food than have some of the customers' money go directly to their employees so they banned it and now it seems natural not to tip in that context.

3 minutes ago, LordAnubis said:

Do you tip a plumber? street vendor? taxi driver? school teacher? whats the definition ofa tipping industry? 

Taxi driver yes. Don't think the others.

[El Presidente]

21 minutes ago, Ken Gargett said:

happy to tip for good service.

Apparently he has never received it. 

.......I have never seen him put his hand in his pocket once people