RyviaUSA Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 A gentleman once told me that police radar guns read your speed off your car's speedometer. So if your speedometer is broken, the cop sees you as traveling 0 mph/kph. Another gentleman once told me that if you put pieces of aluminum foil on your car tires, it deflects or scatters police radar so they can't get your real speed. Still laughing and dying a bit inside from these comments. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Pinareno Posted December 26, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted December 26, 2018 “That’s not mold. It’s actually plume!” 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris12381 Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 "Stop signs with white borders are optional after 10PM." ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Markspring1978 Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 “Glass tops on Cuban samplers are so that you can tell that the cigars are genuine.” Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eland Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 "This cigar sure does have a really tight draw". This from an "aficionado" that hadn't bothered to clip the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy_jack Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 “Don’t tell people you’re sorry. Let them find out for themselves” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BJRPorter Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Couple of my father’s favorite phrases: Bastard of life! Stuck on stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunterbeav Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Things are more like they are now then they ever have been.Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGD Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 “If you get a ticket from a state trooper who isn’t wearing a hat you don’t have to pay the fine.” - A guy I went to high school with who truly believed this. “I’m getting so high of the fumes.” - My roommate during my freshman year of college while brading hemp. There were no fumes. And, it was hemp. “My cell mate told me [insert some statement that is completely wrong with some incorrectly used legal terms].” - Almost every one of my clients who is incarcerated. Although, sometimes they will surprise you by doing a good job finding case law that actually applies to their case. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madandana Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 A friend of my dads said “Have you ever noticed that raccoons always come to the highway before they die?” 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mk05 Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 4 hours ago, RyviaUSA said: What is something you once heard another human say that still makes you laugh or cringe? "I am a brand ambassador (or influencer) on InstaGram." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBird55 Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 "I feel more like I do now than I did before." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rcarlson Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 Overheard a guy in coffee shop tell a cruel story about feeding seagulls bread followed by Alka Seltzer to watch them come crashing to the ground when their stomachs burst (surely bullshit, but that was his story). Several minutes later, the shop owner's very sweet and lovely wife leaned over to me and said, "I don't get it. How do you get a seagull to drink out of the glass?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuma Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 keep your friends close but your enemies closer........ Leave the gun, take the canollies........ INTIMATES - Don't you care for my love? she said bitterly. I handed her the mirror, and said: Please address these questions to the proper person! Please make all requests to head-quarters! In all matters of emotional importance please approach the supreme authority direct!- So I handed her the mirror. D. H. LAWRENCE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nKostyan Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 One gentleman brought a box of Fonseca cigars, treated everyone and at the same time claimed that it is impossible to remove the wrapper from rice paper and you need to smoke along with the paper wrapper ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irratebass Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 When I was a kid i once asked my dad "Dad, where do rocks come from?" "The Moon" After thinking about it for a few minutes........."nuh uh" "I almost had ya there son" As he's laughing his ass off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyviaUSA Posted December 27, 2018 Author Share Posted December 27, 2018 59 minutes ago, irratebass said: When I was a kid i once asked my dad "Dad, where do rocks come from?" "The Moon" After thinking about it for a few minutes........."nuh uh" "I almost had ya there son" As he's laughing his ass off. When I was a kid I was certain islands just floated in the ocean. The concept of them being tops of underwater mountain ranges just blew my mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyviaUSA Posted December 27, 2018 Author Share Posted December 27, 2018 Oh another gem: I live in the northeast United States, so we see a decent amount of snow. During one storm, a lady in a SUV bumped in to me. No damage on my rear bumper. She says and I still remember cringing: "I don't know why I couldn't stop, my SUV was in 4 wheel drive." For those of you lads that live in a desert or the tropics or only drive motorcyles/RWD sports cars, 4 wheel drive gives you added traction by way of power going to additional wheels. 4 wheel drive does not give you magical braking capabilities in slippery conditions. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prodigy Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 Anytime I hear kids born after the year 2000 talking to each other, I cringe...Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G891A using Tapatalk 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribeye Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 This was said to an employee when one only wants to speak with the boss. "I don't want to talk to the monkey, I want to talk to the organ grinder" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post MikeinKS Posted December 27, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted December 27, 2018 My wife would kill me if she knew I recounted this one, but I left my cellphone at home one day. When I got home from work that evening, there was a text on it from her stating, "Honey, you left your cellphone at home. Let me know if you want me to bring it to you." ? 1 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupe Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 One that always make me cringe.... "Could we get together for coffee? I've got a great business opportunity I'd like to discuss with you." Always turns out to be Amway or some other multi-level pyramid scheme. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MD Puffer Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 1. That a 357 Magnum will "crack an engine block." 2. The grooves in bayonets and similar knives are "blood grooves" to facilitate bleeding when an enemy is stabbed. They are in fact fullers and merely reduce the blade's weight. 3. That LSD stays in your spinal fluid forever. The list is really endless. Most people buy whatever bill of goods is served up to them, then pass it along ignorantly to the next unsuspecting soul. I practice this exercise. I think/ponder about a statement someone makes. If someone doesn't make sense, seems incredulous, defies the laws of physics, or is just otherwise potted, then it sets off a bullshit alarm in my head. Depending on the circumstances I may just politely smile and nod or I might just let in to someone. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanMcLean68 Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 People that always make me cringe when they talk... Conspiracy theorists Millenials Hipsters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Islandboy Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 26 minutes ago, MD Puffer said: That LSD stays in your spinal fluid forever. Thank God it isn’t true...I’ve been loosing sleep over that one since high school 14 hours ago, prodigy said: Anytime I hear kids born after the year 2000 talking to each other, I cringe... I cringe on a daily basis when I see them talking to each other...via text...while driving. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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