Your help please... Cigar Scoring Chart - Slang Terms

[MoeFOH]

Week 1. Where does the term "dog rocket" start for you in relation to point scoring of a cigar? 

For a bit of a chuckle I'm putting together a cigar scoring chart with terms for the brackets of quality. Or lack thereof. 

I.e. we know our points scoring system for cigars and we are usually dealing with a range between 85-95+ points. 

And we have the slang term "dog rocket" for anything that really shits the bed... so, first port of call, where do we start the "dog rocket" rank? 

From there, each week I'll post the next bracket up for slang term suggestions and we'll poll a shortlist to decide the winning term. 

Example Bracket

-85 (dog rocket)

85-87 (name?)

88-90 (name?)

91-93 (name?)

94-95+ (name?)

We'll have 3 Nudies samplers available in a random draw at the end of the process for participating with a term suggestion. 

So, start by giving me the points ceiling - e.g. 85 - for the "dog rocket". Post below. 

[NSXCIGAR]

Yeah, 85 would be pretty much a bust on my scale. So in essence, I have a 15 point scale. 

[MoeFOH]

2 minutes ago, NSXCIGAR said:

So in essence, I have a 15 point scale. 

Haha, yep... but let's leave that discussion for another day. 

[Chas.Alpha]

Ok, let’s start with the term: Dog Rocket is the pink part that comes out when Fido is frisky, or when you scratch his ears just right. Smoking a dog rocket would compare to smoking (that) cigar, or just giving up and making Fido happy for the night. 😳

A dog rocket cigar doesn’t even get near the 79-87 scale. It’s one so bad that licking Fido’s nut pouch doesn’t seem to be that horrible of an alternative.

Hope this helps.

CAH

[MoeFOH]

17 minutes ago, Chas.Alpha said:

Ok, let’s start with the term: Dog Rocket is the pink part that comes out when Fido is frisky, or when you scratch his ears just right. Smoking a dog rocket would compare to smoking (that) cigar, or just giving up and making Fido happy for the night. 😳

A dog rocket cigar doesn’t even get near the 79-87 scale. It’s one so bad that licking Fido’s nut pouch doesn’t seem to be that horrible of an alternative.

Hope this helps.

CAH

I thought Dog Rocket = dog turd... no? I mean, I guess neither is very palatable (depending on preferences) but an important distinction nonetheless. 

[Boxer31]

Say -75 and will definitely pitch it.

[PigFish]

Numerical scores where the median does not represent an average is a marketing centric biased system meant to mislead.

Dog rocket is a shit cigar. If one were to rate that cigar at 75…a person outside the community may say that 75 was above average…making it a potential choice.

Like many things in the cigar world. This custom makes no sense!

[Ford2112]

I have decided to change my rating system from now on. No more 100 points because this has been bothering me for a while. I consider 87 points a dog rocket!

[Fuzz]

85 is way too high for a dog rocket.

A cigar scoring above 90 has hit nearly all the marks, spot on draw and construction, complexity, great flavours, etc.

A cigar scoring bewteen 80-90 is a good cigar, nothing stellar, but still a good cigar. May miss a few points for having a fault or two; draw being a bit too tight, construction off, flavour but not much complexity, etc

A cigar with a score between 70-80 is average, no complexity, construction/draw/flavour is just ok. More than 2-3 faults.

A cigar with a score between 60-70 is sub-par. Many faults but still smokeable....barely. Pitchworthy.

A dog rocket has no redeeming features whatsoever. The only thing getting points... they managed to roll it with tobacco... maybe.

[Chibearsv]

Is this the scale we are using?

Cigar Aficionado classifies the scores on its 100-point scale as follows: 95-100 = Classic; 90-94 = Outstanding; 80-89 = Very Good to Excellent; 70-79 = Average to Good Commercial Quality; and 0-69 = Don't Waste Your Money

If so, then Dog Rocket would be everything below 70.  If the scale is truly 85-100 then I guess Dog Rocket is 85 

Truth is, a Dog Rocket should be a zero on every scale.  Unsmokeable trash

[btort910]

Anything below 80.

[Cigar Surgeon]

This discussion is largely highlighting the drivers behind Developing Palates not using a 100 point scale.  It's unclear where one person's excellent or average begins and where poor or dog rocket begins.

For us, anything that scores a 3.75 or under falls into the 'poor' category which I would say is dog rocket territory. 

[MagicalBikeRide]

16 hours ago, MoeFOH said:

I thought Dog Rocket = dog turd... no? I mean, I guess neither is very palatable (depending on preferences) but an important distinction nonetheless. 

Never heard this. Where I’m from, a dog rocket is the horny pink lad - unfortunately. Not something you smoke without serious regret 😂

[Cigar Surgeon]

18 minutes ago, MagicalBikeRide said:

Never heard this. Where I’m from, a dog rocket is the horny pink lad - unfortunately. Not something you smoke without serious regret 😂

We call that the red rocket. 🤣

[Connoisseur Kim]

Although I no longer using 100-point scale for reviewing cigars, I categorize cigars that are rated 2 out of 5 as dog rocket. Also, in my own 0-5 rating scale cigars that score 0 or 1 are classified as "Dante's Inferno" (0 out of 5) and "Nightmare Fuel" (1 out 5), respectively, since I personally believe that godforsaken cigars that are way worse than dog rocket cigars would exist.

[CaptainQuintero]

I think 80 is an okay cigar, 79 and below is a Forest Whitaker Eye to me

Which is bizarre because on a /10 scale, 7/10 is pretty damn goodml, I'd say 5/10 is okay but wouldn't buy again, 4/10 is dogger. An 8/10 would be excellent 

So I'm a walking hypocrite and 8/10 and 80/100 mean two totally different things to me 

[smokeyjoe01]

5 hours ago, Cigar Surgeon said:

We call that the red rocket. 🤣

We call that the ‘lipstick’ 🤣

[MoeFOH]

46 minutes ago, smokeyjoe01 said:

We call that the ‘lipstick’ 🤣

Haha... yep. 

[MoeFOH]

1 hour ago, CaptainQuintero said:

79 and below is a Forest Whitaker Eye to me

Haha... love that term. 

[Fuzz]

There is an even simpler scoring scale:

Great

Okay

Bad

Cuaba

[Lamboinee]

23 hours ago, MoeFOH said:

Dog Rocket = dog turd

Mos def moefoh. My understanding as well. Dog rocket, from the latin, "Canine Familiareres Rocchetaesque" . This is in contrast to the aggressively phallic and less fecal latin term, "Canine Tubedickus Rosada de Bocca Faceholio" , which loosely translates in  English to "Red Tube of Dog Dicked Mouth".  

What many people do not know, however, is that Einstein's original V2 rocket was actually piloted by a dog and powered by tubes of red lipstick.  Hence, it has been common for many to conflate or confuse the two terms when describing cigars. The only true way to determine if your cigar is a dog rocket, or a red rocket, is to lick your dogs wang and see if it tastes more like a cigar or a rocket.

Seeing as how dog rocket is the first level of digression on your chart, I cast my vote for Dog Rocket to start at 85.5. 

 

[MoeFOH]

1 minute ago, Lamboinee said:

Mos def moefoh. My understanding as well. Dog rocket, from the latin, "Canine Familiareres Rocchetaesque" . This is in contrast to the aggressively phallic and less fecal latin term, "Canine Tubedickus Rosada de Bocca Faceholio" , which loosely translates in  English to "Red Tube of Dog Dicked Mouth".  

What many people do not know, however, is that Einstein's original V2 rocket was actually piloted by a dog and powered by tubes of red lipstick.  Hence, it has been common for many to conflate or confuse the two terms when describing cigars. The only true way to determine if your cigar is a dog rocket, or a red rocket, is to lick your dogs wang and see if it tastes more like a cigar or a rocket.

Seeing as how dog rocket is the first level of digression on your chart, I cast my vote for Dog Rocket to start at 85.5. 

 

[Lamboinee]

8 hours ago, Cigar Surgeon said:

This discussion

I appreciate this input. It helps me to establish a benchmark for your system. I came up with an estimate of where your system starts "good/great cigars ", but I had not decided on what the floor was. I'm curious what makes that equate to a 3.5 on your scale. But, I can't do math.

[Cigar Surgeon]

2 hours ago, Lamboinee said:

I appreciate this input. It helps me to establish a benchmark for your system. I came up with an estimate of where your system starts "good/great cigars ", but I had not decided on what the floor was. I'm curious what makes that equate to a 3.5 on your scale. But, I can't do math.

Strangely I think what confuses people the most is the 5 - 6 range which is puzzling to me.  Most cigars should land in the 5 - 6 range as being "it was fine, there was nothing technically wrong with it, but it isn't something that stood out, that I'd necessarily remember a year from now, etc." .

For me once you get in the 6.3+ range that's when you are finding cigars that you'll seek out and enjoy.  7+ are the gems and 8+ you get into unicorn territory.

We've had a few under 5s and they're appropriately rated IMO.

[MagicalBikeRide]

I recall a line in one of the old FOH vids that made me laugh - something akin to “This cigar is singing. It is the Springsteen of cigars.”

Think it scored 98 - so only fair that a 98 equates to a Springsteen…