Phobias

[El Presidente]

I was having lunch with some mates on Sunday and the talk came around to phobias. Now my claustrophobia is well known and quite mundane. Thankfully there are always stairs that I can climb if the lift looks more like a coffin.

However I was taken aback when our host made mention of his phobia of packing foam....the soft type.  

 

Needless to say that that I brought a bottle of whiskey to lunch and it had just that packing foam under the lid. I was asked to bring out the post lunch cigars (........retailers curse/blessing ) but while he was sorting out the drinks inside, I put his Cohiba 1966 on top of this piece of square packing foam in front of where he sits. 

He comes out. Looks at the 1966 on the packing foam.....BEDLAM! 

 

You would swear that the 1966 was covered in spiders.  He reached in to pick it up ....pulled his hand back...reached in .....back again. .....I was in tears of laughter. 

 

Phobias? what are the weirdest among us 

[Wookie]

Can I cook you lunch when you are in Boston? ?

[WarriorPrincess]

Flying cockroaches when they go straight for your hair....stop laughing Rob 

He has seen me  many a times running through the house screaming when one flies in and goes straight for me , never knew I could run that fast 

[bbguardsp]

Moths.  They are secretly planning to take over the world and eat us all.

[westg]

Nail files...Fingernail files. Run one over my fingers and I will hit the roof.  I can't even pick one up . 

 

[anjimj]

Spiders 

[cigcars]

1 hour ago, WarriorPrincess said:

Flying cockroaches when they go straight for your hair....stop laughing Rob 

He has seen me  many a times running through the house screaming when one flies in and goes straight for me , never knew I could run that fast 

        *That's why I'm afraid to go to Florida 

[cigcars]

40 minutes ago, anjimj said:

Spiders 

 

[RicoIsHere]

Flying cockroaches when they go straight for your hair....stop laughing Rob 
He has seen me  many a times running through the house screaming when one flies in and goes straight for me , never knew I could run that fast 

I have a story about flying roaches. In Puerto Rico they grow HUGE. One early morning, I arrive around 3A.M. drunk as hell. I hear one flying, or better said fluttering around the living room. It's dark, and I'm drunk... And it lands on my cheek. And I killed it on my face .
I swear I slapped myself so damn hard I loosened a few teeth! I must've spent an hour in the shower just on my face. I still feel sick when I think about it.
Ugh I need a drink and a cigar.

[JY0]

Snakes

[Fuzz]

1 hour ago, anjimj said:

Spiders 

I was cleaning up my outside patio last night. Had one of those small broom and dustpan things to sweep up. The long broom handle fits tightly into the dustpan tube, so you have to pry it out from the bottom. So I stick my hand into the broom's bottom hand hold, pry it out and put down the dustpan.... and a freakin' huge huntsman bolts from the pan. Now, I don't really have a problem with spiders, but when a 10cm (just under 4", for those not believing in the metric system) wide spider bolts out from where you just had your hand, it does startle you!

[RicoIsHere]

I was cleaning up my outside patio last night. Had one of those small broom and dustpan things to sweep up. The long broom handle fits tightly into the dustpan tube, so you have to pry it out from the bottom. So I stick my hand into the broom's bottom hand hold, pry it out and put down the dustpan.... and a freakin' huge huntsman bolts from the pan. Now, I don't really have a problem with spiders, but when a 10cm (just under 4", for those not believing in the metric system) wide spider bolts out from where you just had your hand, it does startle you!

Did you scream?

[WarriorPrincess]

35 minutes ago, RicoIsHere said:

I have a story about flying roaches. In Puerto Rico they grow HUGE. One early morning, I arrive around 3A.M. drunk as hell. I hear one flying, or better said fluttering around the living room. It's dark, and I'm drunk... And it lands on my cheek. And I killed it on my face .
I swear I slapped myself so damn hard I loosened a few teeth! I must've spent an hour in the shower just on my face. I still feel sick when I think about it.
Ugh I need a drink and a cigar.

Yak Yak Yak  my stomach is a wee bit upset now 

[scap99]

1 hour ago, RicoIsHere said:

I have a story about flying roaches. In Puerto Rico they grow HUGE. One early morning, I arrive around 3A.M. drunk as hell. I hear one flying, or better said fluttering around the living room. It's dark, and I'm drunk... And it lands on my cheek. And I killed it on my face .
I swear I slapped myself so damn hard I loosened a few teeth! I must've spent an hour in the shower just on my face. I still feel sick when I think about it.
Ugh I need a drink and a cigar.

 

Had one fly at my face and hit me square in the mouth....it landed on my tongue.  I thought I was going to die.

 

Now as bad as that sounds, I'll take that over Mayonnaise any day of the week.

 

 

[RicoIsHere]

 
Had one fly at my face and hit me square in the mouth....it landed on my tongue.  I thought I was going to die.
 
Now as bad as that sounds, I'll take that over Mayonnaise any day of the week.
 
 

Whoa, I hate mayonnaise as much as I hate getting kicked in the, well...

[scap99]

2 minutes ago, RicoIsHere said:

6 minutes ago, scap99 said:

 
Had one fly at my face and hit me square in the mouth....it landed on my tongue.  I thought I was going to die.
 
Now as bad as that sounds, I'll take that over Mayonnaise any day of the week.
 
 

Whoa, I hate mayonnaise as much as I hate getting kicked in the, well...

I don't have any unknown siblings on Ancestry DNA, but perhaps we should double check. ?

[Burningman]

Clowns. I despise clowns.

[RicoIsHere]

Well this was about phobias, in don't know if I have any. I know I cringe at the sight of really big bunions....

[OldEasy]

Snakes. Which is weird because I used to be obsessed with them as a kid (getting my picture taken, holding them, etc.), but They gradually started to creep me out. One experience sealed the deal. I was hanging out in the canyons north of Malibu one night, sitting on a large rock, and wasn’t really paying attention to my surroundings. Anyway, it starts getting light and I look over and notice a massive rattlesnake coiled up on another rock not 5 feet away. Just the idea that it had crawled right by me in the night and I hadn’t even noticed terrified me. Worse, I was quite a ways (at least a mile) from the nearest road, alone, with no cell service. As such it is particularly small poisonous snakes which terrify me. Just that idea that you can’t keep track of them or where they are.

[Fuzz]

1 hour ago, RicoIsHere said:

Did you scream?

I did release a very loud expletive that my neighbour four houses down probably heard, but no screaming. Then I used the broom to sweep him into the garden bushes.

[CaskStrength]

Poisonous snakes.  Needless to say, the thread of you missing home was quite alarming!

[cigcars]

2 hours ago, RicoIsHere said:

I have a story about flying roaches. In Puerto Rico they grow HUGE. One early morning, I arrive around 3A.M. drunk as hell. I hear one flying, or better said fluttering around the living room. It's dark, and I'm drunk... And it lands on my cheek. And I killed it on my face .
I swear I slapped myself so damn hard I loosened a few teeth! I must've spent an hour in the shower just on my face. I still feel sick when I think about it.
Ugh I need a drink and a cigar.

     *Pardon my Swahili but I would've been fucked up for the rest of my life. Just like Di - I  HATE  roaches.

[cigcars]

55 minutes ago, RicoIsHere said:

Well this was about phobias, in don't know if I have any. I know I cringe at the sight of really big bunions....

                   My sister should see this! Screwed up feet freak her out! "Bunions"? THIS poor soul's whole foot is JACKED. Did anybody see the challenge on Facebook a few years ago where they showed somebody's bare foot - obviously homeless: those nails were long, JAGGED and D-I-I-R-R-R-T-Y!!! Crooked and Gnarly. Filthy and Dusty - you name it. And the question was: "Suck these toes for 30 minutes or spend 2 years in jail" Which would you choose? People were responding, "Give me LIFE!" "Give me the CHAIR!" I piped in, "Well, I guess I'd be getting prepared to be passed back and forth between Big Maybelle and Big Blue Bell..."

[Islandboy]

Snakes, poisonous spiders, poisonous jellyfish, and crocodiles. Basically my phobia is Australia. 

[BuzzArd]

7 hours ago, WarriorPrincess said:

Flying cockroaches when they go straight for your hair....stop laughing Rob 

He has seen me  many a times running through the house screaming when one flies in and goes straight for me , never knew I could run that fast 

Di,

I grew up in Florida and the house was full of them....   Ever wake up at night and realize afterwards that something crawled across your leg and THAT’s why you were awake...?   

It’s a well known fact that if you walk into a room and see a cockroach you can’t take your eyes off it or it’s gone....   So, I’m about 14 or 15 years old.   I walk into my bedroom and spy a monster on the opposite wall.   Like, you coulda put a saddle on him and ridden to the local packie for a fifth of Old Grandad.   Knowing better than to look away I hollered at my dad, “hey Pop. Get me the Raid.   Got one!”.   I’m striking my best second leg relay runners pose, eyes on the prize, and dad stealthily slips the Raid can in my outstretched hand so as to not disturb our “guest”.  I crept up, calculated my distance (so I didn’t fire from too far away and miss my quarry) and deliver the death spray simultaneously executing a 180° spin and dash perfected by years of practice.  As I burst into the livingroom at a dead run with the whole family watching, Pop asks “get him?”.   Silly question.  Of course I got him.  I’m an athelete.  

I swear, as the sound of my voice died out that f_cker crawled up and over my right shoulder....

 

I didn’t sleep that night....