MOFOH Robusto Destroys Beach

[cnov]

Had a really great day on the beach with family and friends yesterday. As the sun was going down I was enjoying my second MOFOH Robusto of the day when a chap came over and loudly explained, "your cigar is destroying this beach for everyone." It was a touch weird and caught me off guard as his tone was slightly jovial up to the point he delivered the core of his message, but without missing a beat I came back with, "do you know what I think ruins the beach?" He looked at me, said, "no" and received "tourists". To be fair he mumbled something of an acknowledgement and scurried back to his embarrassed family without further interaction until I took their rubbish back to them after they moved. 

This is the first time that I've been on the receiving end of cigar bother, I try to be fairly respectful and plant myself down wind, but for someone to come and loudly make a show was a touch weird and felt entitled to say the least. 

What's everyone else's worst complaint delivery from a passing knight in shining armour? 

For the record, I don't mind tourists. They might not be able to drive on the narrow lanes but they breathe a bit of life into this quiet corner of the world.

[Ford2112]

I was on the Monterey Wharf, sitting in my bus, minding my own business,with the window down and smoking a cigar. A woman walked right next to my window and did a pronounced, "cough, cough" in my direction. I said, "are you serious?" She just kind of smirked. Can't a fella enjoy a cigar in peace?

Another time I caught a salmon and had it laying dead on the dock and a lady asked me, "ever feel sorry for them?" I said, "have you ever looked deep into a salmon's eyes?" "No, there's not much going on in there. And I won't feel guilty when I'm barbecuing that fish tonight for dinner!" 

How can anyone argue with that logic? Stay strong my friends.

[cnov]

We watched some Bill Hicks the other night, amazing how relevant some of his stuff has become again. His line is perfect for the coughers - 

[Lucas Buck]

I was banned from one of my favorite bars many moons ago. I assure you that I am a polite individual and have never even been admonished let alone asked to leave an establishment  before or after this event. This place was full of cigarette smokers and though I never saw another cigar smoker there I never had a problem until that day when they asked me and my buddy to leave and never come back. We were stunned. 

Another incident that stands out in my memory - was up in the canyons watching a bicycle race whilst smoking a RASS and was easily 100 yards from the closest party. One of these jack holes yells "that is so stinky!" - I mean they had to yell in a dead quiet canyon for me to hear them so far from me. There is no way in holy hell they could smell my smoke. Good grief. 

[Rupe]

I had the opposite happen one time.

I was getting to the end of my cigar and was going into Walmart but I had enough left that I decided to take a few final puffs in the parking lot and then drop it into the ash bin outside the store. An elderly lady was walking along with her daughter into the store as well. The younger lady turned to her mother with a smile and said "Isn't that nice? Doesn't it remind you of Dad?"

[99call]

On my hotel balcony in New Zealand. On the table there is a sign next to an ashtray saying.  "Please smoke on balcony only, not in your room". 

I was smoking a cigarette at the time. Lady on the balcony next to me, that looks like a self punishment obsessive hiker type. 

NZ lady:     Excuse me, your smoke is blowing into our room.

Me:            Oh sorry, I didn't realise your door was open

NZ lady:     Well it is, and smoke is bellowing into the room!

Me:            I understand, Sorry...I just saw this sign (pointing at the table) and thought I was allowed to smoke. That and the provided ashtray?

NZ lady:     You are allowed to smoke, but I'm asking you not to. 

Me:            I understand, this is the last cigarette I'll smoke on this balcony (stubbing it out) as I appreciate you want your door open, and don't like the smoke

NZ Lady:    Ok...well...thank you 

Me:            (sits drinking coffee at the table, working on laptop)

NZ Lady:    (re-emerges from her room).  It's just...well...it shouldn't be allowed!

Me:             In your opinion!

NZ Lady:     No...it shouldn't be allowed...it's disgusting

Me:             No...you find it disgusting, me and the owners of this hotel...do not!

NZ Lady:     IT"S DISGUSTING!!!!

Me:             (Pulls fresh cigarette from pack and lights up) I tried to be nice

NZ Lady:     I'm going to speak to the manager

Me:             OK...good luck with that. 

[KCCubano]

6 hours ago, 99call said:

On my hotel balcony in New Zealand. On the table there is a sign next to an ashtray saying.  "Please smoke on balcony only, not in your room". 

I was smoking a cigarette at the time. Lady on the balcony next to me, that looks like a self punishment obsessive hiker type. 

NZ lady:     Excuse me, your smoke is blowing into our room.

Me:            Oh sorry, I didn't realise your door was open

NZ lady:     Well it is, and smoke is bellowing into the room!

Me:            I understand, Sorry...I just saw this sign (pointing at the table) and thought I was allowed to smoke. That and the provided ashtray?

NZ lady:     You are allowed to smoke, but I'm asking you not to. 

Me:            I understand, this is the last cigarette I'll smoke on this balcony (stubbing it out) as I appreciate you want your door open, and don't like the smoke

NZ Lady:    Ok...well...thank you 

Me:            (sits drinking coffee at the table, working on laptop)

NZ Lady:    (re-emerges from her room).  It's just...well...it shouldn't be allowed!

Me:             In your opinion!

NZ Lady:     No...it shouldn't be allowed...it's disgusting

Me:             No...you find it disgusting, me and the owners of this hotel...do not!

NZ Lady:     IT"S DISGUSTING!!!!

Me:             (Pulls fresh cigarette from pack and lights up) I tried to be nice

NZ Lady:     I'm going to speak to the manager

Me:             OK...good luck with that. 

I use to smoke cigarettes when I was drinking as the ex-wife was a smoker. If a lady said that to me I would have sat on the balcony and chain smoked two packs. F that b#@$h!

[mikeyYCFC]

My pocket destroyed the Mofoh Robusto at the beach

[Chibearsv]

I’ve rarely had anyone ask me if I’d mind moving and never rudely. And if they ask, I do. I’ve never been asked or accosted to stop. Mostly I’ve received thumbs up from passers-by or comments like “I love that smell!” I always look for a spot away from where kids might be. 

[99call]

6 hours ago, KCCubano said:

I use to smoke cigarettes when I was drinking as the ex wife was a smoker. If a lady said that to me I would have sat on the balcony and chain smoked two packs. F that b#@$h!

The point is, you are fair with some people...and that's just never enough. I was rational, generous, and pleasant. Then she "pissed on her chips" as we say in the UK. 

I don't want to live in a society where it's just hate going each way. I'll always try to be accommodating if I can, and show kindness. But if someone is a bellend, they deserve the misery they bring on themselves. 

[KCCubano]

5 hours ago, 99call said:

The point is, you are fair with some people...and that's just never enough. I was rational, generous, and pleasant. Then she "pissed on her chips" as we say in the UK. 

I don't want to live in a society where it's just hate going each way. I'll always try to be accommodating if I can, and show kindness. But if someone is a bellend, they deserve the misery they bring on themselves.  

Totally agree.

[Ford2112]

My friend Ed hates cigars. I like to stand up wind of him while we're fishing. He always says he hates those stinky fkn things. Good times.

[El Presidente]

13 hours ago, 99call said:

The point is, you are fair with some people...and that's just never enough. I was rational, generous, and pleasant. Then she "pissed on her chips" as we say in the UK. 

I don't want to live in a society where it's just hate going each way. I'll always try to be accommodating if I can, and show kindness. But if someone is a bellend, they deserve the misery they bring on themselves. 

Beautifully said 

[cnov]

On 8/25/2025 at 12:57 AM, 99call said:

The point is, you are fair with some people...and that's just never enough. I was rational, generous, and pleasant. Then she "pissed on her chips" as we say in the UK. 

I don't want to live in a society where it's just hate going each way. I'll always try to be accommodating if I can, and show kindness. But if someone is a bellend, they deserve the misery they bring on themselves. 

100%, this was absolutely one of those situations, the chap went out of his way to talk loudly so everyone could hear. It's really easy to be civil and even disagree with people, a bit of an art that some haven't worked out. 

I thought it was going to be a situation to give my wife ammunition for the rest of our days, but she was thought he was weird. She had a real twinkle in her eye when she told me about the rubbish they'd left, knowing full well I'd be gleefully skipping over to return it. 

On 8/25/2025 at 12:07 AM, 99call said:

Me:             No...you find it disgusting, me and the owners of this hotel...do not!

NZ Lady:     IT"S DISGUSTING!!!!

Me:             (Pulls fresh cigarette from pack and lights up) I tried to be nice

NZ Lady:     I'm going to speak to the manager

Me:             OK...good luck with that. 

It's almost permission to wind them up isn't it? A real treat, I bet you enjoyed every one of those cigarettes so the more for it. 

[cnov]

17 hours ago, Chibearsv said:

I’ve rarely had anyone ask me if I’d mind moving and never rudely. And if they ask, I do. I’ve never been asked or accosted to stop. Mostly I’ve received thumbs up from passers-by or comments like “I love that smell!” I always look for a spot away from where kids might be. 

This is definitely the way most people are with cigars in my experience.

[ha_banos]

I'm not very good at improvising clever retorts. Fortunately I've not had many negative comments. People usually just move on/away.

I had a big black dude walk past me at the cafe yesterday who commented nice cigar. If he was sat next to me and was getting in my face, I'd have moved on. He was a big guy! 

 

[El Presidente]

8 hours ago, ha_banos said:

I had a big black dude walk past me at the cafe yesterday who commented nice cigar. If he was sat next to me and was getting in my face, I'd have moved on. He was a big guy! 

Don't sell yourself short Banos. 

You will always be this guy to me! 

 

 

 

[ha_banos]

8 hours ago, El Presidente said:

Don't sell yourself short Banos. 

You will always be this guy to me! 

We clearly wear the same rose tinted sunglasses!

[LordAnubis]

I was once at the Dubai LCDH by the marina. Entire place was empty, was about 11:30. The place has a large indoor area and a large outdoor cafe style area (about 20 tables or so with 4 seats at each table). I sat down at a random table outside (again im the only one there). Ordered food and lit up.  On my table was a big ashtray, a lit cigar, and food a drink that came. 

Along comes a husband, wife and two kids (don’t remember, was a family anyway). Where do they sit? THE TABLE RIGHT NEXT TO ME. They ordered food. I finished my food and resumed smoking my cigar at usual pace. The father asks, "can you please stop smoking?" I said, "why?" He says, "we are trying to enjoy our lunch and we chose this nice spot" (I don’t know what made this specific spot so good). I said, “well see up there, that says the house of Cuban cigars, so I guess you chose poorly”. Normally I make effort to blow smoke up or whatever out of the way a bit. But this time I was blowing smoke generally in their direction. They eventually moved. 

[Ken Gargett]

whenever i head down to northern nsw to work - family has a place by the beach - i try and have a cigar as a break at least one arvo. there is a strip in front of the town houses which we are part of and people can walk there. not many do. but one arvo, i am really enjoying a cracking cigar and a book and i see this woman walking along towards us. looked like she'd sucked on about 8 lemons. i am actually on our property where it is perfectly legal to smoke (i won't if the neighbours are out on theirs, although i won't put one out if the neighbours come along after i have lit up). anyway, this woman starts to veer towards me. i know something is coming and i am getting ready to point out all legal and she can bugger off. sure enough, she comes up to about three feet away, sour as you can imagine, looks at me and says, "isn't that just the most wonderful smell. i hope you are enjoying it". and then walks off.

nearly fell off my chair. 

[Nevrknow]

Work for me is on the road. I'm in Charleston for about a year so I'm staying at a Hilton there. Nice big BBQ/ patio WITH a smoking section. I have been there long enough, the staff know me as well as the manager. I'm IN so to speak.

This will sound mean and I don't care, but you travelers know. You can just SEE them coming.

I'm near the grill area on the left of the patio. Which also happens to be the smoking area. Duh. The wind is blowing left to right facing the hotel. No one has been in the entire patio area for hours. I'm just typing away on the ole lappy and decide to light up a Lusi. Then "they" pop thru the door. Coward dude immediately runs back in the door. Yea, I see it coming.

Desk clerk comes out and using my first name (I think that shocked him a tad) asks me to move to the NON smoking area. Me: "of course sweetheart, all he had to do was ask!"

Minding my own business, but my training keeps me aware of my surroundings, I notice...a disturbance in the force.  

Paying attention, I gather that it's just the SIGHT of me smoking that has now drawn their ire and unwanted attention to me. AGAIN. The SIGHT. Not the smell. (It was a Lusi, I mean damn.)

ANOTHER mad dash thru the door and I'm thinking, " Self: This is going to get good".

My dear lady friend at the front desk comes out yet again. "John would you mind moving back to the smoking area?" "Not at all my dear. With pleasure  May I smoke my cigar IN the smoking area without further disruption?" " Yes Sir. Last time. "

Did you, my fellow brothers of the leaf, know that you can, with effort, consume half a Lusi in about 15 minutes? It is a glorious smoke show. AND with the wind blowing right, damn near smoke out a parking lot? That's about how long they lasted. After all, I WAS following managements directions were I not. T O  T H E  L E T T E R.

General Manager sees me the following day. "You should have smoked 2"...I was kind of upset I half wasted a Lusi on them. But it was what I had at the moment.

Moral of the story: Whiners don't always win.