Need some advice


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I've been hosting poker nights at my place for the past year or so. I started bringing out a selection of cigars because I knew a couple of the guys enjoyed them. It's turned into an expectation that I provide $100+ in free Habanos every time we play poker in addition to beer and food. Never has any one of the 5+ guys offered to pitch in or bring any of their own, and one guy even complained that one of the sticks was a little dry for his liking (it was dry boxed). Complaining about free cigars.

I originally started handing out sticks in the hopes some of them would get serious about the hobby. While I agree that part of being a good host is providing beer, whiskey, cigars, snacks, etc., but it's getting a bit old footing the bill every time we play. No one ever offers to host the next game or offers to bring beer, cigars, whatever.

While I enjoy the company and I have known these guys for years, how do I suggest that they start pitching in for the common good? I was rubbed the wrong way last night when one of the guys showed up saying he just came for the beer and cigars and didn't plan on playing, and the other was complaining about the cigars (not dog rockets either! Boli PCs, HdM Epi 2, & RASS).

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I've been hosting poker nights at my place for the past year or so. I started bringing out a selection of cigars because I knew a couple of the guys enjoyed them. It's turned into an expectation that I provide $100+ in free Habanos every time we play poker in addition to beer and food. Never has any one of the 5+ guys offered to pitch in or bring any of their own, and one guy even complained that one of the sticks was a little dry for his liking (it was dry boxed).

I originally started handing out sticks in the hopes some of them would get serious about the hobby. While I agree that part of being a good host is providing beer, whiskey, cigars, snacks, etc., but it's getting a bit old footing the bill. No one ever offers to host the next game or offers to bring beer, cigars, whatever.

While I enjoy the company and I have known these guys for years, how do I suggest that they start pitching in to the common good? =). It's been a year after all. I don't think I can keep up with the cost.

You shouldn't have to ask mate. Decent people do the decent thing.

If you do enjoy their company and everyone enjoys the evening then it is either they supply the Pizza/food/beer or you throw a $20-$25 cover (whatever) to help out.

I would start with the following

Listen you cheap arsed bastards.....

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Honestly, true friends would have already offered to help supply something. I have never invited a fellow cigar smoker over to my place, and had them not offer to bring something... or bring something even after I told them not to. I would just stop hosting. If they have been taking advantage of your generosity for that long, I would have a hard time considering them to be true friends. Even with simple friendships, it has to be a two way street. It might sound harsh, but I'm stating my honest opinion.

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Listen you cheap arsed bastards.....

Yep, time to lay down the law.....insist they rotate the games with the other guys providing the eats, drinks, smokes, etc. when their turn....or, ask each to bring something like beers, snacks, smokes, etc...or stop holding the games....or find a new group of hopefully more gracious players.

Good luck with the cheap mofos!

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The problem is... you started with card players and have attempted to make cigar smokers out of them!!!

While this is a tongue in cheek response of course, I have never been to a cigar gathering where fellow smokers don't share as a matter of personal choice, generosity and pride. Cigar smokers are that way!

Gamblers on the other hand do tend to expect a hand out! While this might not (or perhaps is) a reflection on your friends, spend any time in a casino and you well see what gamblers are all about.

Cigar smokers meeting to play cards is one thing then, and card players meeting to play cards will be something different altogether; I am sorry to report. If you truly enjoy the meeting and sharing then it is on you and you should not worry about it. If it is weighing on you then it is up to you to stop! Unless the card game makes it rounds and you are enjoying the same benefit as the guest of others as well as the host; well, you are getting hosed!!!

Cigar smokers are generous, gracious guests, and often bring a gift for the host. It is not a must but it is commonplace enough to be considered typical. Freeloaders will be freeloaders on the other hand, and you are not going to change freeloaders into gracious guests, nor people who will bring a $100 worth of cigars to a party!

Cheers!

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Thanks for affirming I'm not thinking irrationally. One of my buddies who is a cigar guy came for the first time last night and brought a few sticks to share, which made me realize what gracious friends do and subsequently prompted this post. It was a stark contrast to the guy who complained about his free Epi 2 and Boli PC. I'll put together a rotation.

Thanks gents =)

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I play regularly with my friends and we setup a rake system.

Host provides food/alcohol/snacks.

We rake 10% from each pot (we play pot limit). We collect $XXX within 2 or 3 hours. If the food or alcohol is more expensive we up the rake to cover it. The rake system has worked out best for our situation, we've even used it to buy 3 poker tables, replacement cards/chips etc, big flashy Christmas dinner etc.

the X dollars covers the above plus an inconvenience bonus for messing up his place or restricting movements of his family by us being there. With this formula, we have successfully played twice a week for about 2 years now with a core of about 10-12 guys.

I'm the only cigar smoker there and will bring extra's cigars on special occasions to hand out as will others who will bring in a nice bottle of wine or scotch but that would be a bonus and not included in the rake.

Hope your rotation works out,

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I'm in a bit of the same situation where I golf regularly with a few guys and end up handing out nice Cubans and, yes, after a while it is sort of expected. I guess I've become the "cigar guy" in the bunch. Difference here is that the guys will, more often than not, pay for the golf, maybe dinner after and it all works out.

I've learned to knock back the quality of cigars that some of them get from me. A few guys know a good cigar when they smoke one but a few of my friends have no clue what they're smoking, how they should be smoking the cigar or even WHY they're smoking a cigar. To them, its cool and appropriate but then just as expected there it is again, 2/3 of a Lusitanias sitting cold and forgotten in an ashtray.

It makes me crazy. I've handed out cigars that I have aged for, in some cases, years. These cigars have been adored, caressed, nurtured, moved from humidor to humidor and generally loved while they were in my possession. Now after burning for 15 minutes or so they become a casualty and lay waiting for the cleaning staff to show up.

Soooooo..........

HELLO BELINDA !!!!! party.gifparty.gifparty.gifparty.gifparty.gif

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Kind of know the feeling...started handing out cigars to a friend in the hopes of getting him to join the hobby but it kind of ended up where I always hand out a cigar when we hang out. I didn't mind too much as I mostly gave out regular production stuff, but it did add up in the end. Good thing it got cold now so we can't smoke a cigar even if we do hang out..lol.

I would however, never hand out anything more than a c&c to someone who just wants to have a cigar for looks, or newbies. Can't stand seeing sticks 1/3 smoked...

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I think along the same line as Rob. You shouldn't have to ask, but if a "hint" is required I would hold up a cigar along with my favorite beverage and say.....

Listen you cheap arsed bastards.....

If They aren't bright enough to pick up on that, well then they should be easy pickins at the poker table. :)

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I've been hosting poker nights at my place...it's getting a bit old footing the bill every time we play. No one ever offers to host the next game or offers to bring beer, cigars, whatever...how do I suggest that they start pitching in for the common good?

It seems to me, that the solution is hidden in the problem. Put something "else" into the cigars and clean them all out, every night. Then blame their poor poker play on something else. lookaround.gif

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Cigar smokers are generous, gracious guests, and often bring a gift for the host. It is not a must but it is commonplace enough to be considered typical.

Gamblers on the other hand do tend to expect a hand out!

This captures it perfectly. You asked though you already knew the answer. The other members who posted before me spoke truth.

Wilkey

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Go to a drug store or convenience store and pick up those .50 cent packs of cigars and start handing those out. They probably won't know the difference. While you're there, pick up the cheapest, worst tasting beer you can find and feed that to these moochers. When they complain, tell then if they don't like it they can start supplying the party.

These guys are not your friends, and certainly not ones you would want.

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You brought this upon yourself and you shouldn't be upset with your cheap ungracious friends but you should lay down one ground rules for moving forward. Personally I never hand out good cigars to people who I don't think/know would appreciate them.

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Good advice here!

I'm constantly in the same boat : Going out to Dinner, bars, cookouts, poker night, ect . My "real" friends never take advantage , but there is never a shortage of mooches and vagabonds wanting free food, free suds and free cigars.

Here was my remedy for poker night: I learned a long time ago that when you sit down at a poker table you always try to find the sucker first. If you can't find one , the sucker is you. So one poker night after endless nights of handouts , everyone showed up and I didn't provide any drinks, food or cigars. After about 10 minutes of awkward silence and shock, 2 of the guys volunteered to run to the store real quick to grab some snacks and beer. One other guy chipped in money. 3 guys however continued to look at sports scores on their phones and ignored the attempt to salvage the situation. Those 3 were never invited back. The other 3 , by their actions, proved to be worthy. So from then on out, we added 3 new players with a fresh perspective , so they didn't expect anything coming into it , so I established a protocol that before each game , I send out an email directing what everyone needs to bring to contribute this week and so forth. It has been smooth ever since.

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A lot of great advice and it should be common sense. I have learned over the years that some people were taught manners and some were not. You can always tell the guys/gals with good parents because they will always ask if they can bring anything. A bottle of something, some food or whatever. For the ones whose parents failed to instill even the most common courtesy they need to be taught. And like Sky said, if they don't step up don't invite them back.

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curious to hear how this turns out keep us posted, lots of good advice

two things i never understood, people who aren't regular smokers shouldn't be offered dcs and churchills

why everyone is trying to convert others into cigar smokers (not saying op is just saying), let their own curiosity drive them

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you need new friends.....weed out the moochers from the table. pretty simple. invite some new guys and replace the worst offenders. i host a game and guys completely raid my stash (it is somewhat comical), but all of them offer to bring something (food, drink, cigars, cash, anything)

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Thanks for the solid advice guys. Skyfall, I was leaning towards doing exactly what you did, I'm glad it worked out.

The guys who I hand cigars out to are all cigar smokers themselves in a moderate sense. They might have a couple of sticks on hand but they weren't serious by any means. By me handing out some good Habanos, I was hoping to enlighten them for lack of a better word. They love the cigars (noted by the 2-3 they smoke each poker night), but that's where it ends.

I'll report back with how it goes next week. I think I'll include a short list of beer/snacks in the text I send out, and then talk about a group buy for a box of cigars from Rob at the table. They're all good guys and are normally not moochy, but etiquette may be lost on some of them when it comes to this.

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