Ritch Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 My butler is a constant source of entertainment and humour, a true gentleman's gentleman. He doesnt half crack me up with some of the silly things he comes out with, such as 'Sir when are you going to pay me? Honestly, the chap lives for free, doesnt pay for accommodation, smokes my cigars, drinks my whisky and uses the Rolls whilst I'm at work. And he has the audacity to ask when I'm going to pay him? What funny things does your butler say or do? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post SenorPerfecto Posted July 9, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted July 9, 2019 "When are you going to put a ring on it??" Honestly, the gall! 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt45 Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 "Sir, your wife's tattoo is adorable" (tattoo on inner thigh) When seating me for informal breakfast at the kitchen island - "Sir, allow me to push in your stool" "Sir, perchance does the missus know about your girlfriend(s)? "No? - I think I'm due for a raise" He's hill-freakin'-larious..... 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarryVT Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Butler? Your really are Ritch! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Islandboy Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 My butler has taken to accusing the Russians of hacking whenever he gets the “sorry, just sold the last box” email from Di. It’s wearing thin on me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La_Tigre Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 “Sparkling or still” I mean who drinks flat 1928 Krug.... ? Also, let’s splurge and get some fresh wine....!!!! ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeypots Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuzz Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 Say? SAY?! If he says anything without being told to first, he get a damn sight thrashing!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post SirVantes Posted July 10, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2019 Besides doing his usual duties with dignity and discretion, my butler is always offering to help maintain my antique silver-topped walking stick (“Polish your knob, sir?") or my heirloom cavalry headgear (“Shine your helmet, sir?”). He’s also happy to help in the kitchen, tenderising steak (“Beat your meat, sir?”) or dispatching the live poultry (“Choke your chicken, sir?”). Good man. One of these days I’ll set him to polishing the family jewels. 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesKPolkEsq Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 “You f—-ing need me, Scott. You can’t win without me.” Any NBA fans? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ritch Posted July 10, 2019 Author Share Posted July 10, 2019 19 hours ago, BarryVT said: Butler? Your really are Ritch! On a serious note, I dont really have a butler.. not yet anyhow. Perhaps one day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuzz Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 8 hours ago, SirVantes said: Besides doing his usual duties with dignity and discretion, my butler is always offering to help maintain my antique silver-topped walking stick (“Polish your knob, sir?) or my heirloom cavalry headgear (“Shine your helmet, sir?”). He’s also happy to help in the kitchen, tenderising steak (“Beat your meat, sir?”) or dispatching the live poultry (“Choke your chicken, sir?”). Good man. One of these days I’ll set him to polishing the family jewels. Does he reach around with a steadying hand when you're playing five knuckle shuffle? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirVantes Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 8 minutes ago, Fuzz said: Does he reach around with a steadying hand when you're playing five knuckle shuffle? Certainly not. When I am engaged in leisure, I want him handling the staff. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omnipus Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 "Sir, will HQ do, or do you still require PSP?" So glad I don't do the 24:24 shopping myself! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbeaver Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 9 hours ago, SirVantes said: Certainly not. When I am engaged in leisure, I want him handling the staff. Our butler, sometimes changes the “L” to a second “T”. He then slides with friends by the pool. CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirVantes Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 17 minutes ago, canadianbeaver said: Our butler, sometimes changes the “L” to a second “T”. He then slides with friends by the pool. CB How delightful! If my butler could do that, I’d have him greasing the pole. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanMcLean68 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Say? My butler knows that it is rude to speak with their mouth full. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrouchoMarx Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Funny things your butler says? You gonna mow the lawn or just watch it grow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickHendeson Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 "Look man my car just ran out of gas. I swear if you let me go I won't tell the police or anything." Ah, what a card Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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