Remember? Wild Office Christmas Parties

[El Presidente]

 

 We are having our office christmas party today at a swank restaurant with the wine flowing and the company credit card about to be assaulted  like         seagulls on a chip. 

 I love the office christmas party. Time have changed though. Apparently as attending boss I am legally responsible for the responsible service of alcohol, sexual harassment, racism etc etc.  The young crowd are fine. i will just need to reign in Di, Lisa and myself 

Remember the old days?   Oh how I miss the bank days when getting sloshed at the christmas party allowed the mail room clerk a free pass to walk up to the CEO and let him know that he is a knob and a wanker.  It allowed the paralegal and the boss a tryst in the office/mailroom/deck. It allowed a full and honest discussion about the benefits of lesbianism before two eager and under the weather receptionists volunteered for a kissing demonstration. 

The Office christmas Party was an unofficial free pass to unwind and temporarily cross a few boundaries. 

The best part?  Everything was pretty much forgotten and forgiven the next day. 

These days you would have a legal letter from Ben and Dover lawyers before the New year. 

we will post some pics later in the day but post up some of your favourite Office Christmas Party memories 

 

 

[Colt45]

The truly wild ones I can't remember clearly 

What I do remember of them will "Stay in Vegas"....

[TBird55]

It is truely a shame, that the younger generation will never get to have the experiences that we had. The great and not so great memories.

[JGD]

I used to be a prosecutor, while I was there the parties were somewhat tame, although one drunk prosecutor was convinced to prank call 911. However, the stories about the parties in the 90s were hilarious - definitely a much different time.

[SignalJoe]

Given the current climate I would guess they look more like 6th grade dances; boys on one side of the room girls on the other.  Both scared to death to approach the other. 

[Markspring1978]

What’s ironic, is that as society has become increasingly secularized, the moral standards have become more Puritanical and rigid.  

[nKostyan]

There is a good collective competition for Christmas party

https://youtu.be/ZNCcEvbfLvY

[ayepatz]

I remember when you had pluck up the courage to chat up a lassie that had caught your eye. Most times (in my experience, at any rate) you’d crash and burn spectacularly. And you’d accept that, because gentlemen do. Despite the merciless ribbing from your mates.

But, just once in a while, luck would be on your side, and the pretty girl would smile back, accept a drink, flirt a little, and, if you were really lucky, give you the last dance of the night, and maybe a wee smooch under the mistletoe, to the complete consternation of all your mates.

I feel sorry for the younger generation missing out on these experiences all because someone, somewhere might take offence.

[Puros Y Vino]

No scandalous tales I can think of. When I started working back in the mid to late 80's I think this kinda stuff was already on the wane. The only memorable XMas party I can think of was when I worked at a furniture warehouse after I finished High School to make some University money.  We finished loading the last customer cars and locked up our front doors and minutes later bottles of hard liquor came out from everywhere. The office ladies laid out a huge spread of finger foods and we all ate and drank to around 5PM.  There were tales of illicit hookups up in the storage rafters, in the mattress sections out on the floor etc. The worst thing that probably happened were some people driving home a bit drunk. (FTR, no incidents arose from that, but still stupid). 

[Guest Nekhyludov]

I graduated from college in 2003, and have spent 15 working at various institutions. I can say unequivocally that I have never enjoyed a single "Winter Holiday" party. They have always been stiff, cold events where people who don't like each other very much tolerate some cheap food while looking for the first opportunity to escape. 

[Ender1553]

I graduated from college in 2003, and have spent 15 working at various institutions. I can say unequivocally that I have never enjoyed a single "Winter Holiday" party. They have always been stiff, cold events where people who don't like each other very much tolerate some cheap food while looking for the first opportunity to escape. 

Company I work for has christmas parties still. The funniest thing is that its employees only, not aloud to bring spouses or significant others. Used to be hosted at a swanky hotel ballroom until too many issues arose about employees taking advantage of the "discounted rooms" so they wouldn't have to drive home drunk.

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[Trevor2118]

The Politically Correct Christmas Party

MEMO:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:   All Employees
DATE: October 01
RE:   Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 21, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty

---

MEMO:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:   All Employees
DATE: October 02
RE:   Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty

---

MEMO:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:   All Employees
DATE: October 03
RE:   Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous any-more. How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody? Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Patty

---

MEMO:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:   All Employees
DATE: October 04
RE:   Holiday Party

 

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty

---

MEMO:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:   All F#$*&%** Employees
DATE: October 05
RE:   F&*%#$&* Holiday Party

Vegetarian pr*cks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f#$@&*% salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die,

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!

---

MEMO:
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
TO:   All Employees
DATE: October 06
RE:   Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon off on the 21st with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Joan

[BellevilleMXZ]

Ah yes, how it has changed. It went from great crazy parties years ago, to tame ones, to now none, as the owner is scared of the legal side of it. Very sad....

[Drguano]

[ayepatz]

1 hour ago, Drguano said:

I SOOOO wish there was an applause smiley....

OH....Wait......? ??

[Derboesekoenig]

6 minutes ago, ayepatz said:

I SOOOO wish there was an applause smiley....

OH....Wait......? ??

[PigFish]

Don't talk cigars at your party or you may have to invite that government advertising consultant!

Have fun! -R

[nKostyan]

At my organization (about 200 people, about 120 of them come to the event) new year corporate party is held every year. A scenario like this:

- invited presenter, DJ or musicians, magicians or artists

- the host alternates greetings, performances, disco, funny and stupid contests

- the Director and top managers in turn congratulate the team, make a toast and drink alcohol together

- be sure someone becomes the "star of the evening", because he could not stop the consumption of alcohol in time

- be sure someone gets injured on the way home because they are so drunk that they can not stand on their feet

- be sure young people get to know each other better, sometimes they get married

Russian corporate new year's holiday is as ruthless as the Russian revolution... especially if you don't know how to drink alcohol properly

The event was successful if it looks like this:

 http://

 

Voiceover:

- yesterday was a corporate new year holiday?

- you behaved badly and now you feel ashamed in front of your colleagues?

- you should fire them all, you're the President of the company!

- to dismiss all of them?! can at least leave the Secretary?

- (after the episode with the girl in the red dress) no, and she will also have to be fired

 

[ha_banos]

Can't be arsed these days.

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