The Land Rover Experience

[El Presidente]

I received this morning a lovely letter (always special in these times of electronic mail) welcoming me to the Land Rover family and including a voucher for a “Land Rover Experience” session whereby I can experience the true capabilities of my brand spanking new Range Rover.  

 

 

 

It did bring a genuine smile to my face…and so I started: 

 

 

“Dear Mr Wiesner

Managing Director land Rover Australia. 

Thank you so much for your invitation to take advantage of the Land Rover Experience session.  It is with some regret that at this time I am unable to take you up on your offer.  

You see, The Land Rover Experience I most seek right now is getting it back from the dealers service department.  

Baby steps I know.  While I have seen the videos of Land Rover climbing Tianmen Mountain,. With your permission, I thought that we may start with getting this modern engineering marvel to perhaps run on tarmac.   

If every car has its own personality, then mine appears to suffer from performance anxiety.  It is a strong possibilty that far from climbing rocky boulders at camp cojones, my Rangy would struggle right now to climb the speed bump at the camps entry.  

Far from being fearless in the face of a steep mountain trail drop, my Rangy will turn off and put itself into park before crawling into a foetal position and self dialing Landrover Assist. 

Given the technicians have not found a solution and the Rangy has resided at  Land Rover intensive care for three weeks, I think it best to decline your kind invitation.  

I congratulate you all for the not so easy task of  making my ex Jeep look absolutely Germanic by comparison.  

Best regards

 Rob Ayala 

Range Rover HABANO

Hardly Used                “

 

[Islandboy]

Bloody brilliant!

[Cayman17]

Awesome reply! 

[cfc1016]

@El Presidente don’t you know you’re supposed to abide the jaguar rule when owning a british car? Gotta have 2, so there’s something to drive while the other is in the shop. 

[TBird55]

Trade it in for a GMC  SLT Sierra Z71. They are bulletproof, go anywhere, and the ride is not too bad. Problem solved.....

[PapaDisco]

You just need some of THIS:

 

Lucas Wiring Harness.tiff

[Bearclaw]

Hahahaha. Well done! Let 'em have it Rob

[Corylax18]

Very funny. The “Land Rover Experience” is a blast!! If your ute is running. Maybe a few hard laps around the autocross course will knock something loose! 

Ive been twice here in Colorado. One was a Plains/obstacle/autocross setup. The second was pure rock crawling way up in the rockies. 

When functional, Rovers are BY FAR the most functional regular production off road vehicles made. Its simply stunning waht they can do, all while your butt and steering wheel A/C are keeping the nervous sweats at bay. 

[westg]

I read his first paragraph and stopped Yuck !!..it made me feel sick......nooooo had a laugh...what is he managing director.......

Pity the fools 

 

[havanaclub]

Prez you have me dying in laughter right now. Please tell me you sent that response. ??


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[wade1979]

On my third currently. We have a bit of love/hate relationship, but she doesn’t care when I call her a piece of €^%#. I see a 4th in my near future. 

 

Enjoy!! 

[First Lady]

You really can pick cars Rob LOL first the Jeep ( it got more mail than the business does with all the recalls) and now this ... I will remember never to ask your opinion of a car when I have to buy 

[Fuzz AI]

The Alfa Romeo Stelvia is looking to have been the better buy, eh Rob?

[KavalanWhisky]

Top response!! Great banter, let's see if they invite you purchase a newer RR..

[mt1]

Hilarious!!  I just did the Land Rover Experience and Jaguar Adrenaline Tour (or whatever they called it), was all really fun and all but let's be real, the Defender is the only true Land Rover that matters 

[luckme10]

[cfc1016]

6 hours ago, TBird55 said:

Trade it in for a GMC  SLT Sierra Z71. They are bulletproof, go anywhere, and the ride is not too bad. Problem solved.....

F that. The only thing worse than a british car is an american car. 

1 hour ago, mt1 said:

Hilarious!!  I just did the Land Rover Experience and Jaguar Adrenaline Tour (or whatever they called it), was all really fun and all but let's be real, the Defender is the only true Land Rover that matters 

Let’s REALLY be real... the best land rover ever made was a TOYOTA FJ40 ??

[mt1]

3 minutes ago, cfc1016 said:

Let’s REALLY be real... the best land rover ever made was a TOYOTA FJ40 ??

Cannot argue with that but I got a soft spot for those uncomfortable terrible clunky Defenders 

Have you driven the new Land Cruiser?  I took one offroading a little while back and in my mind it is a game changer.  It is offroading in luxury (and comes at a price to match)!

[cfc1016]

3 minutes ago, mt1 said:

Cannot argue with that but I got a soft spot for those uncomfortable terrible clunky Defenders 

Have you driven the new Land Cruiser?  I took one offroading a little while back and in my mind it is a game changer.  It is offroading in luxury (and comes at a price to match)!

I have not. I’m sure it’s awesome though. Never drove a defender either. 

I had an 88 FJ62 though. Absolutely spectacular truck. Unfortunately I was dating a woman at the time who had an uncanny ability to destroy ANY machine. Threw a rod and blew an 8” hole in the block. RIP ‘Bradley the armored personnel carrier’.

Had a 78 chevy 2x4 custom 20 once too. Crate goodwrench 350 cammed out with edelbrock short rise and holley 4bbl and straight side pipes.  ‘The Tonka Truck’. That thing was a champ. Glub glub glub. 

[mt1]

1 minute ago, cfc1016 said:

I have not. I’m sure it’s awesome though. Never drove a defender either. 

I had an 88 FJ62 though. Absolutely spectacular truck. Unfortunately I was dating a woman at the time who had an uncanny ability to destroy ANY machine. Threw a rod and blew an 8” hole in the block. RIP ‘Bradley the armored personnel carrier’.

Had a 78 chevy 2x4 custom 20 once too. Crate goodwrench 350 cammed out with edelbrock short rise and holley 4bbl and straight side pipes.  ‘The Tonka Truck’. That thing was a champ. Glub glub glub. 

What I would give to get a good condition FJ62...sadly as I get older, I begin to appreciate softer seats, more forgiving suspension...currently in the market trying to find a good condition '64-'66 mustang and even that's proving to be tough now.

When I got my very very first car ever (a beautiful red Toyota corolla), I picked up my girlfriend the day after I got it and she proceeded to climb in, eat some fried rice out of a take out box she had brought with her and spilled the entire thing in my car...not as bad as windowing your block but as my very first car that was brand new to me.....sigh...

[Habana Mike]

2 hours ago, Fuzz said:

The Alfa Romeo Stelvia is looking to have been the better buy, eh Rob?

Funny that. We're coming on a year with our Stelvia, not been in the shop yet though it's due for annual service in a couple of weeks.

[El Presidente]

13 minutes ago, Habana Mike said:

Funny that. We're coming on a year with our Stelvia, not been in the shop yet though it's due for annual service in a couple of weeks.

Have you enjoyed it Mike? 

The QV and the S sport in the Stelvia get released here later in the year. Unfortunately the dealer network is near non existent. 

[El Presidente]

4 hours ago, havanaclub said:

Prez you have me dying in laughter right now. Please tell me you sent that response. ??


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Sent. I do hope they get a laugh out of it. 

[Fuzz AI]

45 minutes ago, El Presidente said:

Have you enjoyed it Mike? 

The QV and the S sport in the Stelvia get released here later in the year. Unfortunately the dealer network is near non existent. 

Surprisingly, we have 3 Alfa dealerships in Sydney. I'm still waiting for a coupe version of the Giulia.

[anacostiakat]

  So glad we buy Toyota.