OZCUBAN Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 BEST BARTENDER JOKE An Ex-Lawyer, a Lesbian, a Pathological Liar, a Fraudster, and a Communist walk into a BAR. Bartender asks.... "What'll it be, Ms. Gillard?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drguano Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 You are going to confuse Schlomo again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangedog Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I cringe every time I hear "Meestah Speekah!", but I do thoroughly enjoy your questions and answers sessions... much more entertaining than our cspan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolio Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 I thought I'd get this one restarted. It's been a long Monday at work! A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender goes, "do you know they've got a drink named after you?" The grasshopper goes, "what, .....Eric?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tino Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 "Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability." Bill Bailey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cohiba007 Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. Bartender says, what is this, some kind of a joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt45 Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 three guys walked into a bar - the fourth one ducked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuzz Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Tony Abbott walks into a bar.... personally, I'd rather he walk into a bottomless pit, but sometimes dreams just don't come true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warren Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 I just can't wait until this country is run by adults again. And that's no joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khamy Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 A group of fonts walk into a bar. ‘Get out of my pub!’ shouts the barman. ‘We don’t serve your type in here.’ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuzz Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 I just can't wait until this country is run by adults again. And that's no joke. You and I will be dust long past before that ever happens again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drguano Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 A pirate walks into a bar with the ship's wheel stuffed down the front of his trousers. The barman says, "Is that what I think it is?" "Aye! And it's driving me nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
str8dog Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 So, a seal pup walks into a club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeypots Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Blind man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the blond?.." The bartender interrupts him, " Hey, I'm blond and I box professionally, The waitress is blond and she has a black belt. The bar back is blond and is a MMA champion. You still want to tell the joke?" "No" says the blind man, "I don't want to explain it three times." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drockspang1 Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says," hey buddy, why the long face?"... Derek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ophidion Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Did you hear about the new pill for depressed lesbians? Its called Tricoxagin ... ok I realize its not a barman joke but I'm posting it anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbeaver Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian approached him and said, "Now listen buddy, if you don't stop calling me that I'll smash your face in!" *no offense, just funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nino Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Did you hear about the new pill for depressed lesbians? Its called Tricoxagin ... ok I realize its not a barman joke but I'm posting it anyway You must have been to the pharmacy here lately, but I don't recall seeing you :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ophidion Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Some day, hopefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nino Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Some day, hopefully. You'd enjoy the jokes as much as the cigars :-) Hop in, anytime - preferable today after 1900 hrs .... open for cigars, drinks and jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polarbear Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 A Pirate walks into a bar He has a hook for a hand, a peg leg and an eye patch. He walks up to the bar and the Barman says "Jeez bud, looks like you've been in the wars, what happend?" The Pirate goes, "aye, its been a bad couple of weeks. First i was in this massive battle and a cannon ball flew into me and took my leg off!" "Jeez, thats no good" said the bartender "Then, a week later, i was dueling with someone and he got a lucky swipe in and took my hand off!" said the pirate "Bloody hell! I was wondering where the hook came from" said the bartender "Then, to mae matters worse, my parret flew away and as he was going he crapped in my eye!" said the pirate "What!? You lost your eye because your parret crapped in it!?" "Ah, well, you see, it was my first day with the hook..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ophidion Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 You'd enjoy the jokes as much as the cigars :-) Hop in, anytime - preferable today after 1900 hrs .... open for cigars, drinks and jokes. Think you could pick me up from the USA in one of your spare jets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolio Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was assaulted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolio Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 A set of jumper leads walks into a bar. The bartender says, "don't you be startin' something". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drguano Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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