Advice From Doctor Wong

[Leopolis Semper Fidelis]

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong my life. Is this true?

A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually...speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruit and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what these? Vegetable. So steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetable to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all! Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise programme?

A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for me?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy?!? HARRROOOW!! Cocoa bean: another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!!

Q: Is swimming good for my figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Q: Is it true that cigars are no good for my physical health?

A: You not paying attention to principle I outline you before! Cigar come from tobacco. Tobacco type of vegetable-like matter. You prepare vegetable to consume by many method. Smoking them one such method. You smoke cigar, this therefore OK. Great not only for flavour sensation in mouth, but good for psychologic health too. Think logic, cookie boy!!

Well, I hope this cleared up any misconception you had about food, alcohol, diet, exercise and cigar!

And remember:

Life should NOT be journey to grave with intention of arriving safely in attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideway - Chardonnay and cigar in one hand - chocolate in other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND...

For those of you who watch what you eat, here final word on nutrition and health. It relief to know truth after all those conflicting nutritional study.

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attack than English-speaker.

2. Mexican eat lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attack than English-speaker.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attack than English-speaker.

4. Italian drink lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attack than English-speaker.

5. German drink lot of beer and eat lot of sausage and fat and suffer fewer heart attack than English-speaker.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like!

Speaking English apparently what kill you!!

Doctor Wong ©

[cigcars]

Thank you, Doc! I feel better already!

[samb]

LOL, its the stress that gets ya...

[MIKA27]

Thats great advice Dr!!

"HARRROOO!!!"

Post of the day!

[tdlfoto]

Hilarious! thx for sharing

[laficion]

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like!

Speaking English apparently what kill you!!

Sorry!!!!!!!

Je ne dois pas parler l'anglais pendant une heure

C'est pour ma santé.

Thank vous,

[CBL]

Thats great advice Dr!!

"HARRROOO!!!"

Post of the day!

That HARROOOWW! totally blind sighted me Came out of nowhere For some reason I imagined the South Park City Wok guy as a doctor while reading this....

[CanuckSARTech]

Life should NOT be journey to grave with intention of arriving safely in attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay and cigar in one hand - chocolate in other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

That is soon to be the greatest signature line of all time. Awesome, funny as hell - and so true.

And, I know it's stereotypical and typecasting and all, but I couldn't stop getting the image of Uncle Benny from the Lethal Weapon movies out of my head. "HARRROOOW!!"

[First Lady]

That HARROOOWW! totally blind sighted me Came out of nowhere For some reason I imagined the South Park City Wok guy as a doctor while reading this....

God I love this episode Had to look it up and watch it again... damn Mongolians LOLOL

[Dbone]

Why does this picture come to mind, from Wall-E

[Tony12]

This is really funny. Sank you for laugh! I send to all my friends....

[MIKA27]

That HARROOOWW! totally blind sighted me Came out of nowhere For some reason I imagined the South Park City Wok guy as a doctor while reading this....

Yeah I agree, a true classic that cracks me up!!

"HARRROOOOW!!!

Or from Team America Kim Jong iL character who spoke exactly like that with the same "HARROOOW Hans Brix"

[Leopolis Semper Fidelis]

Life should NOT be journey to grave with intention of arriving safely in attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideway - Chardonnay and cigar in one hand - chocolate in other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!" - Wong

That is soon to be the greatest signature line of all time. Awesome, funny as hell - and so true.

Excellent idea, Keith. It has been done!! HARROOOWW!!!

[Leopolis Semper Fidelis]

Sorry!!!!!!!

Je ne dois pas parler l'anglais pendant une heure

C'est pour ma santé.

Thank vous,

You won't speak English for an hour, for the sake of your health? Un sentiment sage et saine! Docteur Wong est d'accord avec vous.

[CanuckSARTech]

Yeah I agree, a true classic that cracks me up!!

"HARRROOOOW!!!

Or from Team America Kim Jong iL character who spoke exactly like that with the same "HARROOOW Hans Brix"

LOL. Classic pictures. HAAARRROOOOWWW!!!!!

[Oh gawd - we're all stereotyping so bad. Cultural respect is flying right out the window. But...it's so DAMN FUNNY!!!]

[CanuckSARTech]

Excellent idea, Keith. It has been done!! HARROOOWW!!!

[MontrealRon]

My laugh of the day, for sure!

Yet there is so much truth here...

[godfathermint]

Yeah I agree, a true classic that cracks me up!!

"HARRROOOOW!!!

Or from Team America Kim Jong iL character who spoke exactly like that with the same "HARROOOW Hans Brix"

OMG! When I was scrolling down and saw that picture of Kim Jong Il I just bursted out into laughter!!! xD Harrrooowww! =P

[ucla695]

Great way to kick off the weekend!!

[Leopolis Semper Fidelis]

Yeah I agree, a true classic that cracks me up!!

"HARRROOOOW!!!

Or from Team America Kim Jong iL character who spoke exactly like that with the same "HARROOOW Hans Brix"

Q: Doctor Wong, what do you think of the Forum, and this thread in particular?

A: I like much! Anything do with promote vegetable (cigar great vegetal form!) has to be joyous experiment!! I not understand what meant by "stereotyping" and "typecasting"? Doctor Wong tell thing as they is, in serious, logically manner. But I not see connection between scientific exposé and Beloved Democratic Korea Republic Leader. I not comprehend "South Park" thing. Maybe I misunderestimate some aspect?

Most felicitous greeting to all cigar sucker! HARRROOOOW!!!

[MIKA27]

Q: Doctor Wong, what do you think of the Forum, and this thread in particular?

A: I like much! Anything do with promote vegetable (cigar great vegetal form!) has to be joyous experiment!! I not understand what meant by "stereotyping" and "typecasting"? Doctor Wong tell thing as they is, in serious, logically manner. But I not see connection between scientific exposé and Beloved Democratic Korea Republic Leader. I not comprehend "South Park" thing. Maybe I misunderestimate some aspect?

Most felicitous greeting to all cigar sucker! HARRROOOOW!!!

You the man LSFidelis!!

[Leopolis Semper Fidelis]

You the man LSFidelis!!

No, Doctor Wong the man!! Doctor think to make cigar reviewing, when find stimulate stick.

Doctor Wong ©

[kyee]

Hey, I'm part Chinese, and even I found the HARRROOOOW comment hilarious!

Yeah I agree, a true classic that cracks me up!!

"HARRROOOOW!!!

[MIKA27]

No, Doctor Wong the man!! Doctor think to make cigar reviewing, when find stimulate stick.

Doctor Wong ©

Dr Wong, answer this:

Q: Why are there 7 days in the week and not 6 or 8. Also, why do we work on average, 5 days of the week with only the weekend off being 2 days?

By the way...You seem like a very happy man.

[Leopolis Semper Fidelis]

Dr Wong, answer this:

Q: Why are there 7 days in the week and not 6 or 8. Also, why do we work on average, 5 days of the week with only the weekend off being 2 days?

By the way...You seem like a very happy man.

A: Hey, I Doctor Wong, not God; not know all answer, not even relate to all aspect science disciplining. My expertising limit to good nutritioning (promote vegetable consuming), dieting, exercising, alcohol drink, chockies, cigarring - and that type thingy. Maybe you taught at school that Mr. Creator design seven day week: ask Him why. If we being fortunate, we have two day off for week ending, but I too busy - only have one, if lucky!! I very happy filled because many nice person give Doctor fine cigar stick to puff hell out of. You satisfy with answer, cookie boy? It just as well you not ask my first name; I too embarrassing telling you. HARRROOOOW!!!