Funny things your butler says?

[Ritch]

My butler is a constant source of entertainment and humour, a true gentleman's gentleman. He doesnt half crack me up with some of the silly things he comes out with, such as 'Sir when are you going to pay me?

Honestly, the chap lives for free, doesnt pay for accommodation, smokes my cigars, drinks my whisky and uses the Rolls whilst I'm at work.

And he has the audacity to ask when I'm going to pay him?

What funny things does your butler say or do?

[SenorPerfecto]

"When are you going to put a ring on it??"

 

Honestly, the gall!

[Colt45]

"Sir, your wife's tattoo is adorable" (tattoo on inner thigh)

When seating me for informal breakfast at the kitchen island - "Sir, allow me to push in your stool"

"Sir, perchance does the missus know about your girlfriend(s)? "No? - I think I'm due for a raise"

He's hill-freakin'-larious.....

[BarryVT]

Butler? Your really are Ritch!

[Islandboy]

My butler has taken to accusing the Russians of hacking whenever he gets the “sorry, just sold the last box” email from Di. It’s wearing thin on me. 

[La_Tigre]

“Sparkling or still”

I mean who drinks flat 1928 Krug.... ?

 

Also, let’s splurge and get some fresh wine....!!!! ?

 

[joeypots]

 

[Fuzz]

Say? SAY?! If he says anything without being told to first, he get a damn sight thrashing!!

[SirVantes]

Besides doing his usual duties with dignity and discretion, my butler is always offering to help maintain my antique silver-topped walking stick (“Polish your knob, sir?") or my heirloom cavalry headgear (“Shine your helmet, sir?”). He’s also happy to help in the kitchen, tenderising steak (“Beat your meat, sir?”) or dispatching the live poultry (“Choke your chicken, sir?”). 

Good man. One of these days I’ll set him to polishing the family jewels. 

[JamesKPolkEsq]

 “You f—-ing need me, Scott. You can’t win without me.”

Any NBA fans? 

[Ritch]

19 hours ago, BarryVT said:

Butler? Your really are Ritch!

On a serious note, I dont really have a butler.. not yet anyhow. Perhaps one day.

[Fuzz]

8 hours ago, SirVantes said:

Besides doing his usual duties with dignity and discretion, my butler is always offering to help maintain my antique silver-topped walking stick (“Polish your knob, sir?) or my heirloom cavalry headgear (“Shine your helmet, sir?”). He’s also happy to help in the kitchen, tenderising steak (“Beat your meat, sir?”) or dispatching the live poultry (“Choke your chicken, sir?”). 

Good man. One of these days I’ll set him to polishing the family jewels. 

Does he reach around with a steadying hand when you're playing five knuckle shuffle?

[SirVantes]

8 minutes ago, Fuzz said:

Does he reach around with a steadying hand when you're playing five knuckle shuffle?

Certainly not.  When I am engaged in leisure, I want him handling the staff. 

[Omnipus]

"Sir, will HQ do, or do you still require PSP?"

So glad I don't do the 24:24 shopping myself! 

[canadianbeaver]

9 hours ago, SirVantes said:

Certainly not.  When I am engaged in leisure, I want him handling the staff. 

Our butler, sometimes changes the “L” to a second “T”. He then slides with friends by the pool.

CB

[SirVantes]

17 minutes ago, canadianbeaver said:

Our butler, sometimes changes the “L” to a second “T”. He then slides with friends by the pool.

CB

How delightful! If my butler could do that, I’d have him greasing the pole. 

[IanMcLean68]

Say?  My butler knows that it is rude to speak with their mouth full.

[GrouchoMarx]

Funny things your butler says?

 

You gonna mow the lawn or just watch it grow?

[RickHendeson]

"Look man my car just ran out of gas.  I swear if you let me go I won't tell the police or anything."

 

Ah, what a card