When has a joke not gone to plan?

[LordAnubis]

So i am dealing with a German company, we have one of their pieces of equipment on site and they are sending a specialist to us for reviewing our plant. Admin Man sends me a whole heap of emails before Consltant Man is to come to site. Photos of the camp security fences etc, photos of the people picking this guy up form airport, photos of hotel etc etc. After events in neighboring countries, they ended up cancelling the trip last minute, and eventually Consultant Man did come to site the following week.

When Consultant Man arrived on site my first sentence to him was "Did you bring your mother with you mate?". We laughed. Consultant Man turns out to be a reasonably humourous individual. We hatch a brilliant plan. I will ask them exactly the same questions they asked me.

I send him this email;

Lets just say it was not taken in the sarcastic tone it was meant to be seen in. The clusterf@#$ that ensued... sweet mother of Allah!

Consultant Man and i on site are both laughing, but that head office needs to lighten up a little.

[Corylax18]

Haha. Rules are rules! Somebody made them for a reason!

If they didn't get it by the time you hit Ambient Air Quality reports then they should probably get a new job maybe collecting tolls or working the fryer at a fast food restaurant!

[Orion21]

I have a feeling, since it seems you work in the security field, the Home Office doesn't feel there is room for joking around when it comes to the safety of the public. I may be totally off base, but that's how I would interpret it. Have you some former military people up there? If so, guaranteed that went over like fresh cow sh#t in a windstorm!

[raymond5737]

Use your Imogees (smily face) next time. Some people have no sense of humor.

[LordAnubis]

Nah not security based at all. Work on a gold mine in Mali, and the guy coming to site was coming to help us with a problem we have been having with a 25 million dollar piece of equipment of theirs.

[Sophistic]

Mali, 25m dollar equipment...i would ask for even more security related details.

[Akela3rd]

Re: problem with $25m equipment. Did you try switching it of and on again before calling in the consultant?

[westg]

Mus. You should of kept it very brief and told them you have ordered another one.

[Fuzz AI]

I once had a email like that, asking for a photo of the employee to pick up the consultant who was flying in. I sent a photo, but blurred the employee's face. Explained that, due to security reasons, the employee's face needs to be blurred. Company got the hint and just requested a town car to pick up the consultant at the airport.

Why the heck they needed that kind of level of security to visit Australia, was totally beyond me.

[WhiteMamba]

Head office's never have a since of humor. Only branch offices know how to have fun. They don't have to deal with the head guy all the time.

[ayepatz]

Dear God. Why is it jobsworths never have a sense of humour? Nice one mate.

[Fosgate]

I lived in Germany for two years and laughing my ass off picturing their reactions.

[losttrailer]

humor has no power here!!

I live in Germany for 42 years and feel like having to confirm that

On the other hand you probably can't be famous for Blitzkrieg and humor at the same time

[perkinke]

Hasselhof, what more needs to be said?

[Fosgate]

I live in Germany for 42 years and feel like having to confirm that

On the other hand you probably can't be famous for Blitzkrieg and humor at the same time

I don't care who you are. That's funny right there!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Squarehead]

I live in Germany for 42 years and feel like having to confirm that

On the other hand you probably can't be famous for Blitzkrieg and humor at the same time

Then you're hanging out with the wrong Krauts

[Nrengle]

It's the Germans, they have procedures. And German humor is real, but it has its own set of procedures. I've learned this working with German pyro guys.

[Ken Gargett]

those last two questions? seriously? go and find your own travel agent. is is an oldie but a bit similar. questions to australian officials re proposed visits a the responses. has been floating about for years.

[Stogieninja]

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They're very efficient, and not very funny.

[HarveyBoulevard]

They don't call it 'sour-kraut' for nothing...delicious though!!!!!

Joking only...my wife is a kraut.

[polarbear]

We recently had a new employee start with the company named Bradley Cooper.

When he started the job the joke was made that he looks nothing like the guy from The Hangover or American Hustle. We all chuckled about it and went on our way.

A couple of weeks later we got a message from HR at our head office that Brad needed to supply a photo for the companies employee database.

We'd had a few beers at the time and decided to be funny, so we sent them this

Turns out the people in HQ aren't big movie fans, and replied that they required a pic with his shirt on.

So we sent then this

Seems they aren't too quick on the uptake, cause they said they required a shot of him out of his previous uniform and would prefer something from the shoulders up

We sent them this

They said that was acceptable and attached the picture next to his company profile.

Its been 3 months and no one has twigged yet

[RWhiz]

...hey, I've bought stuff from ******.

Edited February 8, 2016 by LordAnubis
Name edited