Same bed, or separate beds?

[CanuckSARTech]

Well, I'm in the midst of catching up on the forum here, reading two months worth of missed threads. Gotta love the regularity with which the same threads/topics come up , but also the little bickering popping up by generally the same parties. And I'm listening to CBC Radio out of Toronto, and their radio show is talking about spouses sleeping in the same or separate beds.

They had a variety of people calling in:

From a guy in his late 30's, married for a handful of years, and him and his wife sleep in separate beds in separate rooms....because she kicked him out after the birth of their son (and it's continuing), so that their now 4-year-old son can sleep in her bed with her. And he was calling in to the radio show because he was saddened that it was affecting their intimacy, and he was thinking of "moving on"....but that he hadn't talked with a relationship therapist about it, much less had much discussion about it with his wife. (....wuss.... )

Then, they also had an older orthodox Jewish gentleman, who talked about there being 12 days out of every month that an orthodox couple is NOT allowed, at all, to have any contact with each other - be it sleeping in the same bed, or even handing the other spouse a spoon across a table. But then....when those 12 days are over... He talked about how they've been married X number of decades, 4 children, 14 grandchildren, a gazillion great-grandchildren, and they're as madly in love as ever.

Which got me to thinking....

Who here is crazy enough to sleep in separate beds from their spouse? But equally, who are also crazy enough to sleep in the same bed as their spouses? I'm not just talking husbands and wives here....if you've got a long-time boyfriend/girlfriend, significant other, common-law, partner, etc., etc.

I find I'm very polarized on the issue. I found myself getting piped up at some people's comments on that radio show. Too many people were using snoring as an example of why to do it, but I find that's hogwash. You're either using it as an excuse, or it's a mask for something way worse/deep rooted in a marriage, IMO.

For the life of me, I'm a snoring, tossing-and-turning ox of a man, trying to share a queen-sized-bed with an its-the-middle-of-the-night-but-I'm-horny-so-wake-the-hell-up-and-roll-over-you-ox, blanket stealing, icebox-cold-arsed-and-footed woman. But I couldn't dream of spending my sleeping hours in a separate bed / separate bedroom from her (if given the choice). Part of a good marriage is finding that balance, IMO, and that includes learning how to share a bedroom.

What's your thoughts? I've got a poll set up above....let's see what the consensus is.

[Orion21]

Outside of religious principles, if a couple sleeps in different beds there is a significant issue. If a spouse "kicks" the other spouse out of the bed and into another bedroom there is a HUGE problem in that relationship!!!!

I have heard of this before and I can't imagine not sleeping in the same bed as your wife or partner.

[Rushman]

What about same bed, separate bedroom?????

I'm a same bed guy, luckily my wife is a same bed gal.

My former wife would kick me out to the guest room one or two nights a week due to snoring.

Magically, new wife has no such issues.

---

I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=20.631709,-87.070665

[Dara]

I could see the merits of having "fun" in the same bed and then sleeping in separate beds....but I await the input of Ken who is the expert on bedroom etiquette!

Good to see the big important issues being addressed on FOH!

[ramon_cojones]

My ex would have castrated me if I dared suggest sleeping somewhere other than bed together. She was a blanket stealer but thing I loved most was how warm she was like a furnace. She would wake me up sometimes in the middle of the night lol.

[UpInSmoak]

Same bed here. Ironically, I've come down with a sinus cold the past few days. The past two nights the wife has woken in the middle of the night, and couldn't fall back asleep due to my snoring. Hence to say, I woke up alone. Can't say I minded

[Squarehead]

Same bed except when I was in the Military.It has been like that for over 46 years.

[headstand]

My answer correlates with the amount of workplace stress I experience, and the need for at least some sleep. So here goes: Separate beds would be nice. Separate rooms - awesome.

[Trevor2118]

Good to see the big important issues being addressed on FOH!

[Deemancpa]

My wife has her own room & bed...I sleep with my girlfriend and smoke a cigar right before turning out the lights-----------------------SLAP just a dream.....I will delete this post in 24 hrs.

[westg]

Usually starts off with me being chained to the bed. Then blind folded, I then hear a knock on the door and sounds like multiple women laughing I then start shaking with excitement leave the rest up to you guys and that was last night. Great topic !

[canadianbeaver]

Damn I wish I posted a smart ass answer like that. Woulda coulda shoulda!!!

Keith this has to be even lamer than some of the threads I have started.

[Loki]

I have been married for 17 years. We have no children.

I snore so we sleep in seperate beds in seperate rooms during the work week and join in the same bed either room on the weekends.

We also have a great sex life.

[CaptainQuintero]

Can we go back to religion or US politics instead please?

[canadianbeaver]

Ok how's this. Me Jane. Sleep in tree house bed. Tarzan sleep with Cheetah in hammock in jungle ever since I catch him with girl from King Kong movie.

[Vcool]

The girlfriend and I sleep in the same bed... With my wife.

[OZCUBAN]

Thought you were talking about Brisbane for a min there West LOL

[CanuckSARTech]

...Good to see the big important issues being addressed on FOH!

Damn I wish I posted a smart ass answer like that. Woulda coulda shoulda!!!

Keith this has to be even lamer than some of the threads I have started.

I just figured a good change-up thread, to change the tone a bit. Going through some of these older threads that I've missed out on during the past two months, I was just shaking my head at some stuff.

And, for whatever reason, this got me worked up listening to this radio show today. I just don't get how people can be cool with this. And yet, when it comes to ***/lesbian relationships or whatnot, I'm one of the first to say, let live and be free, and that the business of the bedroom of a happy couple is no business of anyone else's.

Yet this got me riled up a bit.....

Just curious to see the consensus here. Somewhat of a different topic from lately.

[bambam]

Married 18 years. Seperate rooms, seperate beds. We sleep much better and our sex life could never be better. Single best thing we ever did for our marriage. Her Grandparents and mine did the same thing. They were both married 50+ years.

[Fuzz]

Where's the option, "Different beds, different room, different house and different wife/GF/partner...."

[jedipastor]

IF someone in this kind of situation doesn't talk with their wife about this, then they have no right to complain. MAN UP and calmly discuss the issue. A dude who's this much of a puuuussy should't expect to get any.

[cigcars]

Ok how's this. Me Jane. Sleep in tree house bed. Tarzan sleep with Cheetah in hammock in jungle ever since I catch him with girl from King Kong movie.

*And Cheetah said to Jane: "Now that Tarzan's away let me show you why they call me Cheeter!"

-comedy routine from Red Buttons

[PigFish]

First... Keith might I add that sleeping with your 4 yo habitually (as in the whacko from the radio) is just effin' weird!

I think one must separate the topic further. Who you are sleeping with, is therefore an important part of the question.

...spouse

...lover

...pet

...animal other than pet!

You see mate, being this cosmopolitan, non-judgmental society that we are, you must include everyone. That includes the family goat!!! Perhaps even an adulterous goat!

While I am inclined to say that this is just none of your business and agree that the topic is rather lame, I will simply say, "Use your imagination."

.... "Honey are the horses in or out tonight???"

Cheers! -Ray

[MIKA27]

There should be a poll selection titled:

- Keith, stop watching Jerry Springer!

[OZCUBAN]

There should be a poll selection titled:

- Keith, stop watching Jerry Springer!