weekend incident

[Colt45]

So my g/f has informed me that we have been invited back to her sister's place for another BBQ and pool party.

You could always forget the cigars for the day and enjoy the food and pool. Or, enjoy the food and pool, then grab a chair and adjourn to the

front yard for a cigar. Bring extras, 'cause I have to think you won't be alone for long

[ramon_cojones]

I love how she used the word banned as if she were some universally recognized law making body lol. There's nothing I hate more than smoke discrimination. There is a sports bar around here that has a plaque on the wall that says no cigar smoking yet chain smoking cigarettes is perfectly permissible.

What put a smile on my face is this gentelman's club I've been to has a dedicated cigar patio complete with chairs and tables and such, and cigarettes are not permitted. That's what I'm talking about, should be more of those.

[LGC]

I would just skip the BBQ all together. There's no need in playing both sides of the fence. You gotta set a precedence... if you are ever going to consider getting married. All of my wife's family and relatives know I smoke cigars. Whenever I'm outdoors, there's no need for me to ask for permission to light up when I'm at any of their houses.

If your not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem. This is the attitude that I take when dealing with issues.

[Eltoasto]

"Cigar? What cigar? Oh this? This my obtuse sis in law is a cigarillo....not a cigar.".

I know it is childish but ive found that playing with semantics is a great way to respond to passive aggressive behavior.

[LGC]

I mentioned this to my wife, and she made the comment that it sounds like they made you out to be an outcast to the family.

[mk05]

I mentioned this to my wife, and she made the comment that it sounds like they made you out to be an outcast to the family.

Bingo. Don't take this the wrong way, I mean no offense.

Women talk. Bored women love having some agenda. This bird chose hating on you as her agenda. Seems like if not this, it's going to be something else about you - and I can't wait to find out what she conjures up next. She expects - NEEDS - you to bring a cigar, so she can have an axe to grind, have some seemingly important yet obviously superfluous conversion to cluck about at the "party" with the other hens.

I would not bring a cigar, say no mention of it, pretend like it never happened, and see this girl just steam in misery all night. If I'm right, she'll need her episode of drama, and she'll try something snide at the end of the night like, "so where's the cigar tonight?" To which you'll calmly reply, "I decided to be considerate to your wishes, and felt not bringing a cigar was the best interest of the family as well." See how that one plays out in her mind. Will completely shut her up. She'll either run at you with a steak knife (girl is crazy), look like she's plotting world war 3 (you are in for a world of hurt with this family), or give you a golf clap (in which it was a test).

Win over the hens.

Take over the coop.

Victory is near, Edmond Dantes.

Or your girlfriend actually does not like you smoking cigars and has asked her family to make you feel uncomfortable about it, keeping tabs on your reactions while plotting behind your back.

[Puros Y Vino]

Bingo. Don't take this the wrong way, I mean no offense.

Well put. Might be worth forgoing the cigar for one night and see how it plays out.

[ramon_cojones]

Bingo. Don't take this the wrong way, I mean no offense.

Women talk. Bored women love having some agenda. This bird chose hating on you as her agenda. Seems like if not this, it's going to be something else about you - and I can't wait to find out what she conjures up next. She expects - NEEDS - you to bring a cigar, so she can have an axe to grind, have some seemingly important yet obviously superfluous conversion to cluck about at the "party" with the other hens.

I would not bring a cigar, say no mention of it, pretend like it never happened, and see this girl just steam in misery all night. If I'm right, she'll need her episode of drama, and she'll try something snide at the end of the night like, "so where's the cigar tonight?" To which you'll calmly reply, "I decided to be considerate to your wishes, and felt not bringing a cigar was the best interest of the family as well." See how that one plays out in her mind. Will completely shut her up. She'll either run at you with a steak knife (girl is crazy), look like she's plotting world war 3 (you are in for a world of hurt with this family), or give you a golf clap (in which it was a test).

Win over the hens.

Take over the coop.

Victory is near, Edmond Dantes.

Or your girlfriend actually does not like you smoking cigars and has asked her family to make you feel uncomfortable about it, keeping tabs on your reactions while plotting behind your back.

This is brilliant, and to add I would make a comment that you decided to give up the hobby (as a joke of course but she doesn't know this) to see how she would react. If it were me, I'd have some fun with this, make the best of the situation.

[PigFish]

What do you want to do?

This is not family dynamics via proxy! I would tell the -itch with a capital "B" that I am taking her sister out to a world class dinner and you can skip having us both... but I am not you!

Screw the family focus! The whole damn family should raise a stink over this behavior and since smoking dope where kids are present is not an issue I would say your GF's family is effed up! Tobacco is legal and smoking dope is not in most places.

If you feel like taking the high road, I tip my hat to you. You are a better man than I am! I see no moral high ground here. You have already lost. Beyond this, your GF's sister is telling your lady you don't mind sand kicked in your face! Me... if I went... I would walk the entire event with an unlit cigar in my gob! Get drunk and spill a bottle of cab on her couch and say that when you don't get to have a cigar you get drunk instead and then get the 'dropsies!!!' Take pictures of them smokin' a joint and post them on Youtube! You might mention that your cousin, the one you never told anyone about, works for "Child Protective Services" and will love the pictures.

I am not a believer that rude people deserve courtesy. Being classy around those with no class has proven to be a negative to me. It does not make me feel good! It makes me feel disingenuous, pretending to be magnanimous when I am really pissed. People like this deserve behavior in kind!

Best of luck to you whatever you decide.

Cigars smokers are too damn courteous!

Cheers! -the Pig

[OZCUBAN]

I am not a believer that rude people deserve courtesy. Being classy around those with no class has proven to be a negative to me. It does not make me feel good! It makes me feel disingenuous, pretending to be magnanimous when I am really pissed. People like this deserve behavior in

My sentiments EXACTLY Ray

I do understand that we all as cigar smokers walk a very fine line ,and at best in most places are treated like Leppers

In my expierance RESPECT is always earned not given

OZ

[CaptainQuintero]

I must say the high ground arguments are very attractive....but spilling a glass of red on the carpet argument is extremely attractive!!!

[IcedCanuck]

I might take the high road but I might bring a few sticks and burn them there away from the party. I think it is going to depend which side of the bed I wake up on that day.

[brazoseagle]

Here we go again........ok what you're going to need:

( don't ask questions, just procure this list of items and if used like I tell you, final victory will be yours)

Warning: this plan steps it up a knotch from last time and does involve getting her sister pregnant, and maybe deported. So put your game face on!

1) pogo stick

2) rubber sheets

3) monopoly money

4) an ice sculpture of a dragon fighting a unicorn

5) 2 pounds of butter ( un salted)

6) a weed-eater

7) a gag ball

8) absinthe

9) snow shovel

10) a Romanian passport

11) 3 red apples

12) nipple clamps

13) a baby goat

14) a map of hogwarts

15) a painting of a mime dressed as a nun

16) 1 red bow tie

17) pre 1940's dynamite

18) the Back to the Future Trilogy on VHS

19) repelling rope

20) a monkey wearing a diaper

Once you get these items I'll tell you exactly what to do. It couldn't be easier!!! The sweet supple juices of Victory will glisten down your mouth.

[IcedCanuck]

Here we go again........ok what you're going to need:

( don't ask questions, just procure this list of items and if used like I tell you, final victory will be yours)

Warning: this plan steps it up a knotch from last time and does involve getting her sister pregnant, and maybe deported. So put your game face on!

1) pogo stick

2) rubber sheets

3) monopoly money

4) an ice sculpture of a dragon fighting a unicorn

5) 2 pounds of butter ( un salted)

6) a weed-eater

7) a gag ball

8) absinthe

9) snow shovel

10) a Romanian passport

11) 3 red apples

12) nipple clamps

13) a baby goat

14) a map of hogwarts

7)

The ice sculpture and passport will be a bit difficult to acquire and I'm not sure where to get a baby goat but I bet I could find one ... everything else is doable except her sister

[Diamondog]

The ice sculpture and passport will be a bit difficult to acquire and I'm not sure where to get a baby goat but I bet I could find one ... everything else is doable except her sister

I've got you covered on those items. I've also got the things that couldn't be mentioned here....

[canadianbeaver]

Best thread ever

[IcedCanuck]

I've got you covered on those items. I've also got the things that couldn't be mentioned here....

Thanks bro, I'm actually getting close to the breaking point. I kind of feel insulted and unwelcome. If it were not for the BBQ or if they asked me to bring something that would be a PITA to get I think at this point I'd tell my g/f that I wasn't going to go.

[LGC]

You don't have to answer this question if you don't want to... being this is a personal issue. I'm curious as to what your girlfriend's stance on this issue is. Did she tell you how the conversation went between her and the "governing body?" I would have an issue with my wife coming to me with info like this... especially if she didn't even try to put up a fight in the matter.

[DrunkenMonkey]

If you take Brazoseagle's advice, maybe you should post directions to the party for all of us here; I'll bring the video camera...

[ramon_cojones]

You don't have to answer this question if you don't want to... being this is a personal issue. I'm curious as to what your girlfriend's stance on this issue is. Did she tell you how the conversation went between her and the "governing body?" I would have an issue with my wife coming to me with info like this... especially if she didn't even try to put up a fight in the matter.

Yet another interesting twist I was curious about this myself. Where does your gf stand in all of this? You've not mentioned any of her views or input and if you don't want to that's ok.

[mk05]

The snake which lays near,

Tricks the fool, its venom sweet.

Ate the poisoned quince.

[dvickery]

I asked if cigarette smoking has also been banned from the backyard and she answered no. I asked if smoking the green stuff was also banned from the backyard when there are no children present and again the answer to that was no.

apparently girlfriend didnt stick up for you ... making up rules discriminating against just one person(you).

find another (smoke friendly) girlfriend...with fewer domineering sisters.family obviously doesnt approve of you.you can bet that shes thinking "when we get married i will change him".

oh...i wouldnt bother with the bbq.

sorry for being so cynical.

derrek

[canadianbeaver]

Apparently Brazo, you have never seen Phil and his GF in person. I happen to know he walks around with half those items on him at any given time.

In fact I am sure it is their appearance that has his relatives on edge. It is too bad. They are engaging, amazing guests at any party. Especially when Phil talks about guitars and music.

[IcedCanuck]

I don't think she put up much of a fight but I was not privy to that conversation. I think I'll ask her when she gets up. She is actually pretty smoke friendly considering she'll smoke a cigar or two with me on just about any given day.

[brazoseagle]

I've changed my mind. You definitely need to go to the BBQ! BUT, you need to make yourself contract bird flu, or SARS, or West Nile or something before you go. Then when you get there, go around kissing everyone and drinking out of everyone's glass and sneezing on them. You will be fine, you should be able to recover, but as we all know, Hippies, D-Bags and Snobs all naturally have a weaker immune system, they probably won't fare as well.

1-3 weeks later......Victory!!!!!

Also bring about 15 drug store dollar cigars with you and sneak them into the BBQ fire and any other fire pits going, that way everybody will smell it, look at you and see its not you and can just sit there innocent and go up to the sister complaining about someone smoking cigars.

The food will likely be ruined, but hey......next stop Hooters!