Socially Unacceptable Humor

[OZCUBAN]

Hi all I do have a rather off beat sense of humor ,but Mods feel free to delete if it crosses the line

Socially Unacceptable Humor

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening".

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So. I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled" To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard."

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

[NJP]

Shat laughing. The Mods will be on this like flys to ****.

[Agricola]

Where I come from that's all acceptable, socially unacceptable humour in my opinion means,

A joke that when told in public 99% of people pretend not to find it funny or pretend to be outraged by it. Once they get home they sit down and piss themselves laughing about it.

[brazoseagle]

The first string of jokes was already posted weeks ago by Ken, so I think that, at least, is safe from the moderators.

[jedipastor]

hahahha, thank you for these ... I mean, boo, these are terrible.

[Vortigan]

No you're fine with all that mate,all good humour.It's THIS that at least two of them don't like......

http://www.friendsofhabanos.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=109812

Not sure I see a distinction myself,but what do I know??

[IcedCanuck]

Thanks frosting , I had a good laugh.

[cigcars]

*One really for the Mods to ponder here, although you guys have probably heard this one before;

A flea who's sick, coughing, cold & sniffles finds his friend who is sunbathing, leisurely spreading lotion on himself at the beach. "What happened to you?" said the suntanned relaxed flea. "Well - ACHOO!! I found myself in this guy's moustache and on a motorcycle. I caught this cold, and oh I feel terrible." "Well," said the relaxed flea spreading more suntan lotion on himself, "just find a woman's (you know what, starting with a "P") get in there and you'll be relaxed, warm and snug...not a worry in the world!"

Some time later suntan flea is approached by his sick friend again - this time even sicker, trembling, coughing, sneezing - a real mess. "What happened!?" said sunbathed flea, "didn't you do what I said??" "Yeah" said the sick flea. "I crawled into this nice young woman's "p****y", was warm and relaxed...then - I find myself in this guy's moustache again!"

[Colt45]

I enjoyed deleting the racist elements of the discussion.

I think it's great that it's OK for the mods to clean up after members

I enjoy that we're asked to ponder suitability of posts and threads

By now it should be clear to all that the terms Ken and moderator don't always go together

Have a great Sunday.

two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

[mazolaman]

What's brown and sticky.......a stick.

[Omskakas]

I got one, I got one!

A kiwi girl asked his boyfriend of how many other girls he has had sex with. The boyfriend tried to count but fell asleep before he could finish.

[Ryan]

Two atoms walking down the street, one says, "I think I lost an electron."

The other says, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm positive."

[Ophidion]

What's brown and sticky.......a stick.

This is the best joke.

[bolivr]

LOL ,the "regular people-porn" one

[OZCUBAN]

 

OR THIS GEM

 

 

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in

Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she

pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here

will buy a lady a drink?" The bar went silent as the patrons tried to

ignore her, but down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed

his hand down on the counter and bellowed "Give the ballerina a drink!"

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned

to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the

same hairy armpit, and

asked "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and

said, "Give the ballerina another drink!" The bartender approached the

little drunk and said "Tell me, Murphy, it's your business if you want

to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to

be a ballerina

 

 

 

 

[NJP]

Oh no OZ