What do you do when you are in the doldrums?

[benjaminbbush]

Talk about with friends that know and love him, like you are doing now. But most importantly, talk about him--times he made you laugh---times you may have cried together--things that pissed you off--times you could not have survived without him---times that he needed your counsel (without betraying confidences). Remember the good times and Remember the bad and air it out. That has helped me and my family through some pretty rough times recently.

[isa]

For me, regular meditation, pranayama, the practise of mindfulness or awareness, etc.

[CaptainQuintero]

I know how you feel and I've only known Guy for just a year, it feel like there is a dark cloud over the whole site, like the laughter is missing from the site.

One thing which never fails to cheers me up regardles of the situation if getting out with the dog, your own dog has the ability to bring a smile to your face and somehow they always know how to do it and when it's needed.

Stick Cohiba on his lead, get out in the sunshine and trust the old furball to bring a smile to your face.

[partifan]

Gallows humor and faking it until I've made it work for me. I'll force myself to the rigid schedule so I don't sleep all hours or hide from people. I'll go for longer runs or bike rides, since that gets the venom out of my system. I spend time each morning and night in quiet prayer. I think about all those who are good in my life and my gratitude for them, but also honestly work through how I'm feeling before giving it up to God.

[Puros Y Vino]

Find some balance. Be among people for a while and also find some quiet time just for yourself. Don't lose yourself or feel guilty doing what you would normally do in order for Guy to pull through. Don't go and throw a party or pay a visit to the "ballet". But, understand that there is not a whole lot you nor we could do other than to send him positive thoughts, prayers, etc. I'm sure you've offered your support to Monique in this trying time. Guy is in good hands. France has top notch healthcare.

Do

• pour yourself a glass of wine,
• light up a dependable cigar
• spend some time with those that keep you grounded.

Don't go overboard on the booze/cigars. You'll only feel worse afterwards. Spend some time with your kids, go berate Ken and Smithy, keep yourself occupied. I've been bummed out by this too. I've gotten to know Guy over the phone the past few months. He's a class act. Full of knowledge and someone you can easily become friends with. Like all of you I will be rooting for him and look forward to hearing from him again. To think otherwise, would truly be depressing.

[cottierm]

Same for me Isa!

Best,

Michel

[cottierm]

So many good advice already offered. One more? Get out of the office and go for a walk in a nice park, put a nice (forced) smile on your face and greet every person you're going to cross in your path. Some will return your smile and your greetings, others will ask themselves who this lunatic is but that's fun! Take good care of your family. Life 'must' not but still goes on and Guy wants it that way. Whatever will happen is out of our hands but he is in our mind and will stay there until the end (at least for me).

Best,

Michel

[Rehman]

Ah yes, that ol' Black Dog, a loyal cur is he. +1 on Iced Canuck. I ride these out literally, on my bike. Best hopes and wishes to Guy and Monique.

[jpn]

I try to stay busy/active as much as possible,either through work or a favorite activity. One of my best friends has pancreatic cancer and probably will not make it.If I don't stay busy I tend to think of the worst. Giving as much support as possible to the person helps but when not doing that I try to erase the problem from my mind by doing something that I enjoy.

[canadianbeaver]

Hey prez,

Great advice so far. Pick and choose the points that are right for you.

A couple of years ago I lost my dear mother. She went to Florida on a normal vaction, came back with colon cancer and was gone in 4 months. I needed to be medicated and was to say the least devistated for at least one year.

BUT, she was the one that gave me some great advice. If you took a group a friends and put everyone's troubles in hat, you would gladly take yours back. At her shiva (the 7 days of mourning following a Jewish funeral) funny enough, I set up a table in the back yard and anyone who wanted to join me could come and smoke a great cigar!

The comfort was on MY terms and I treated myself to some special attention for once.

xoxoxo

Lisa

[lostsoulcamero]

I usually hit the gym or jump on my bike and go for a ride and realize that there is nothing you can do about it so just go about your business that's what you boy would want you to do...

[PigFish]

Rob, after just losing my best friend and the news about Guy hitting me hard too. I have no answers. In the past 12 years I've lost 5 people very close to me, 3 of which I was the only one in the room when they passed into glory. Those demons are hard to chase away. I can tell you from very negative experiences that alcohol does not make anything better. I've given that theory its run for the money. In fact, I'm giving this theory a test right now for the 200th failed time. The only thing I can hold onto is Faith. Something you can't touch or explain, but deep down an eventual peace that everything happens for a reason. Not on our time frame and not on our schedule, but that's the point, nobody asks us. Faith is believing on something even when it's outside our realm of understanding. A bigger plan and design than just us.

We walk the plank with our eyes wide open.

I'm a man's man, and I've dealt with pain and demons. I'm hard and grizzled as a southern man and as a Texan man forms me, but tonight, as I smoked my QDO for Guy, this hardcore man shed tears. Few have seen me that vulnerable, but within this brotherhood I solemnly confess, this man cried tonight. Wasn't the first, won't be the last.

Put childish things aside this eve, and cherish your family.

I read thoughts like this! Inspiring.

I post my prayers for Guy openly on his thread.

I am not religious but I know God exists and have a powerful faith in him. I love many people, but rely on no one. I have but one master and it is God almighty. I speak to him often, often about my friend Guy. I know that Guy is destined for a better place... but I am one fighting to keep him here with us, at least for now. I am neither intimidated talking to God, nor shamed in pleading for my freind's life.

Pleading is not easy for me. I am prideful, stubborn and opinionated. Humility does not really come natural for me. I believe that the Lord has taught me these things, taught me them for a reason. He gives me the power to recognize light beyond darkness, power beyond my own. I know the Lord. I bring him my problems and he helps me work them through. I suggest the same to anyone who will hear me.

I have been very concerned for you too Rob. I was assuming that you were taking this hard. I will include you in my prayers as well my friend. Keep yourself busy. Distract yourself with some friends here as I do and seek help from one greater than yourself.

Cheers my friend. And you are all my friends. -Ray

[canadianbeaver]

You know what, I was rethinking this and take this on the loving spirit of friendship I offer if you were here with me.

You are not lying in the hospital in a near coma or whatever with your tortured loved ones at your side. You survived your heart issues. You are adored as a cigar king by hundreds around the world.

Smoke yor best cigar, buy a new pair of shoes or whatever and drink your favorite cool beverage and snap out of it.

Cheers,

Lisa

[Orion21]

WWGD? What Would Guy Do?

Not knowing Guy personally I can only guess. What I guess he would do is gather with friends, open his best bottles of wine, smokes some old cigars and tell funny stories -- all in honor of his friend. That's what I would do because being down just help anyone, especially guy. You're a naturally happy person, do what you do best and honor your friend! You're right, he would be pissed to know you are depressed!

[Joker]

The amount of love and compassion from the members of this forum is truely amazing

Life is a journey - with both highs and lows to balance the experience

When I am down, I know that I will have an equally high experience

When I am on a high, I know that there will an equally low experience

Surround oneself with family and friends (Rob of which you have many) and talk / laugh / cry

Stay strong & thanks to all the BOTL (& sisters)for making this such a wonderfull commmuity.

[OZCUBAN]

The amount of love and compassion from the members of this forum is truely amazing

Life is a journey - with both highs and lows to balance the experience

When I am down, I know that I will have an equally high experience

When I am on a high, I know that there will an equally low experience

Surround oneself with family and friends (Rob of which you have many) and talk / laugh / cry

Stay strong & thanks to all the BOTL (& sisters)for making this such a wonderfull commmuity.

bravoðŸ‘ðŸ‘

[Rushman]

Rob I wish I had an answer. I've tried pretty much everything, but have historically centered on unmitigated anger (in the wrong directions), alcohol, etc.

Personally the only thing I've found to be foolproof is having a best friend strong enough to "check" me and get through my thick skull.

---

I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=29.926400,-95.685688

[winelover]

If you can, lean on your loved ones, but you need to share. They can help you through this and cheer you up.

[riazp]

Yeah I know EXACTLY how you are feeling Rob. Been in a damn funk for almost three weeks now. I've found working out helps, being with my best mates, good conversations about everything and nothing. Smoke a good reliable cigar like frank said...party short is mine atm. Then when I'm alone, the guys here are awesome. Chat on the shout box, read some posts. Just need to keep my min busy.

[Hypersomniac]

I have found that when I am down, nothing I do to help myself is fruitful. The thing to do is help others. Give a gift to someone, do a good deed for someone, etc. Stop focusing on how you can "get better", but rather on how you can make things better for others, on how you can make sure somebody else doesn't fall into a funk as well.

[El Presidente]

I would like to thank one and all for some tremendous advice. The thoughts expressed in this thread have helped immensely.

I have come out of the other side of the "Funk". The depth of love and wisdom in this community never cease to amaze me.

The thread will be moved to the Classics section to help others going through trials and tribulations in their life.

Cheers to one and all

[canadianbeaver]

Great to hear!!

Enjoy your week!

Lisa

[CanuckSARTech]

Glad for you, Rob. Our best wishes for Guy still continue....

It's hard to say what kind of advice I'd give for this. A lot depends on the particular issue, person, etc.

I've had the grand misfortune (or perhaps blessing?) to hold onto family, friends, and even way too many complete strangers while they've passed away, in a myriad of circumstances. Seen too much of it, at too young an age to start, that quite frankly its jaded me a bit. Both my wife and I have steely resolves and a calm demeanor in those circumstances - in our fields, that, and a sense of dark and twisted humour, sometimes are what's needed to get one through without severe emotional or mental distress.

[riazp]

I would like to thank one and all for some tremendous advice. The thoughts expressed in this thread have helped immensely.

I have come out of the other side of the "Funk". The depth of love and wisdom in this community never cease to amaze me.

The thread will be moved to the Classics section to help others going through trials and tribulations in their life.

Cheers to one and all

Agreed. The thread Hovy started for Me when I was going through a rough time has picked me up a bit. Everyone in this community is wonderfull. This is a true brotherhood/sisterhood

[RollsMD]

Sorry for your sorrows Rob. My wife and I have been going through some sadness since her mother passed away 7 months ago. Being a therapist, I unfortunately hear of sadness many times a week. Like everyone has mentioned, alcohol, smoking, and sleeping does not help. The world seems to be focused on a quick fix and occasionally we have to feel. What seems to be the best remedy is to take some time for yourself, love those closest to you, and find some way to help someone less fortunate as yourself. Sometimes you may not feel the effect immediately but I've seen people improve rapidly.