What do you do when you are in the doldrums?

[El Presidente]

Guy's news knocked me around pretty hard this week. Not being able to get regular updates (understandable...Monique has enough on her plate), just makes it all the worse.

I can barely post on FOH. Cigars taste shithouse, Laughter seems obscene, getting drunk never works, correspondence is a chore, I am cantankerous. I have 20 blokes arriving on the deck in an hour and I just want to go home and hit the sack.

What get's you out of the "Funk"? I don't get many of them.

[chr0nic]

I grew up with the 'black dog' so-to-speak... what made it hard to deal with was that there was no reason for me to be in a 'funk', but I was always there.

The things that would help me most days was to be thank-full for the good things that surrounded me- mostly family- and the right sort of music.

All the best with your afternoon, Prez. And though I never got a chance to converse with him, best wishes and thoughts to Guy and his family.

[Ophidion]

Write a list of things you are grateful for. It helps me quite a bit when I'm not feeling 100%

[EL1990]

I just disappear off the face of the earth. Close all blinds in the house and sleep for 15-18 hours a day. Don't work, no socializing, dressing up to go out is a huge chore. Just recovering from a horrible period actually.

[ramon_cojones]

Funny you mention this, I actually have been checking the forums awaiting positive news pertaining to him though I've posted in some other threads. It's like everything is on pause until he comes back.

Can't really say much of anything helps to be honest, I've been there you just have to keep going.

[El Presidente]

I just disappear off the face of the earth. Close all blinds in the house and sleep for 15-18 hours a day. Don't work, no socializing, dressing up to go out is a huge chore. Just recovering from a horrible period actually.

I know Guy would be "pissed" at me if I did that It is also not my style although sleeping would be a relief right now.

[brazoseagle]

Rob, after just losing my best friend and the news about Guy hitting me hard too. I have no answers. In the past 12 years I've lost 5 people very close to me, 3 of which I was the only one in the room when they passed into glory. Those demons are hard to chase away. I can tell you from very negative experiences that alcohol does not make anything better. I've given that theory its run for the money. In fact, I'm giving this theory a test right now for the 200th failed time. The only thing I can hold onto is Faith. Something you can't touch or explain, but deep down an eventual peace that everything happens for a reason. Not on our time frame and not on our schedule, but that's the point, nobody asks us. Faith is believing on something even when it's outside our realm of understanding. A bigger plan and design than just us.

We walk the plank with our eyes wide open

[Marker]

Make a review with Smithy on some crappy cigar you know you both will probably hate. Those always turn out better than the everyone agrees this is good videos.

[maverickdrinker]

Hug your Wife and children rob. It always puts a smile on my face and makes me refocus on what's important.

[aes8]

Do what you do. Get back into your routine and don't pick your head up, Do what you do.

Coach rugby, raise your sons, search the humidor for PSP's, smoke cigars, run the business. Stay in your comfort zone, no need to come out right now.

[Fuzz AI]

The worst thing you can do is be alone. Though you may feel like you want to be alone, that's when the feelings grab hold of you. Surround yourself with family, friends, laughter and good times to chase away those feelings.

[Guest rob]

I never drink or smoke when feeling depressed... I find they taste terrible and are absolutely wasted.

No real solutions from me though as to how to get out of the dumps. Im in them as well for the same reason mate.

[Bartolomeo]

Hug your Wife and children rob. It always puts a smile on my face and makes me refocus on what's important.

This above.....

Thank God for what you do have instead of worrying about things you cant control

Your a great guy and positive things are around the corner, remember a lot of people around the world look up to you and need you to stay strong in tough times

[jay8354]

Give thanks for family and friends.

Go and hug your kids, and kiss your wife. Tell them you love them (even if they give you weird looks).

Drive to the local butcher and get enough meat to feed 50 ppl.

Get all your friends together, so that you remember the good times and why you are feeling down in the first place.

Pray that all your mates will do the same if you are in Guy's shoes.

[cigcars]

Rob, the way I deal with ALL really bad situations is to dwell on ways it could be worse. That always works for me, and I've been through some doosies. As I mentioned on the forum post of Guy's situation, my brother-in-law was admitted for over a week's stay in the ER with congestive heart failure and a myriad of other ailments...largely due to his staying in denial and not getting seen earlier. So now he can't smoke at all and I've lost my fellow Habana lover. Things won't be the same or as enjoyable. But to get back to how to deal with the doldrums; Guy may be in intensive care - BUT, he's getting the best care possible under the circumstances. Look at the persons who don't have access to that care, suffer and die. My brother just had a car accident - BUT it wasn't serious and it was the other guy's fault. I've seen people die right in front of me from auto accidents. An ache or a pain; at least I've got access to quick relief! I was with my Mom in hospice when I saw her draw her last cusmal breath. VERY hard to relive that; BUT she passed away in a hospital bed with people present and having survived nearly leaving us 17 years earlier. It's an endless parade of remembrances and possibilities of "IF"'s. When you return to your own situation such as it is - I know I can deal a little better. C'es vous?

[OZCUBAN]

Guy's news knocked me around pretty hard this week. Not being able to get regular updates (understandable...Monique has enough on her plate), just makes it all the worse.

I can barely post on FOH. Cigars taste shithouse, Laughter seems obscene, getting drunk never works, correspondence is a chore, I am cantankerous. I have 20 blokes arriving on the deck in an hour and I just want to go home and hit the sack.

What get's you out of the "Funk"? I don't get many of them.

I/we all know what you are going through mate, hence yesterday's text , just to keep my spirits up as well as yours

The not knowing what's happening just makes it worse

It is a HUGE measure of the man and the respect and love he commands from his fellow brothers , the thread alone attests to that

As far as advice goes I am at a loss as much as you I guess time will sort it out then you will know what you / we as a whole are dealing with

I know one thing for certain GOOD news will get me out of this funk

If it is any consolation on this you are not alone my friend

Steve

[MIKA27]

I know Guy would be "pissed" at me if I did that It is also not my style although sleeping would be a relief right now.

Mate, sleeping will only mask it just like alcohol will. Once you awaken, the problem is still present.... "IS THERE AN ANSWER" other than good news coming our way about Guy?

[bazookajoe]

I lost my father and my grandmother within a three week timespan in January. It's very tough, especially with family. I was on the verge of breaking down and thinking stupid thoughts. But my daughter and wife has been there with me all the way, and everyday I look at them and it keeps me going. Losing a loved one is never easy, but having some good support from friends and family is the besT. Try to do your normal routine.

It's only been about two months for me and I still think about my dad from time to time but I know that he is in a good place and God will take care of him. Hang in there, it's going to be tough but we are all here for each other

Sent from my LT26i using Tapatalk

[Pilgrims]

Horrid as it sounds you just have to ride these things out with the support of those around you (which as you can see includes here!!).

I do try to always stick to the idea of not making any important decisions when I don't quite feel myself (for whatever reason) so I guess this might be helpful advise here.

[mazolaman]

I guess we all deal with things differently.

We all do different things in these situations.

Being a bit of a solitary type, I tend to take off somewhere nice,a mountain or the sea, and sit for a few hours or a day to mull things over.

Sometimes the unchanging reliability of the natural world allows you to think clearly and deal with stuff, without the daily to and fro disturbing thought.

Either way, there is no getting away from feeling **** in this kind of situation, but maybe getting away for a whee while will allow you to think of happier times with Guy, and come to terms with stuff.

I don't know Guy, or at least,I have never met him, but I would guess he would like you to think of him with joie de vivre...

If there is a positive, when he comes round, he'll be pleased at the number of folk offering best wishes on the thread.

[dB69]

Take a long walk in the forest/nature alone, the better if it rains.

If you are never down you are not able to recognize the best moments of life.

All good to you Rob and especially to Guy!

[Cohiba Stevie]

While im also distraught at the news about guy, i think we all need to start thinking more positivley.

Im a staunch atheist so i cant say that i will be praying for guy, but i can still hope, i can still have faith in todays modern medicine and tell myself that we will see guy post on these boards again.

Last night i did a search of all guys posts and was just readin over some of them, he is such an enlightening and positive person and it actually gave me a beaming smile, he seems to be robust in character and I sincerely believe he will pull through this.

I know we dont know his current condition, but let all of us brothers raise a glass for guy and think more positivley.

To guy: stay strong mate, i cannot wait for your return.

[Petros316]

As a Life and spiritual coach one of the things i have my clients do is right down what they feel is causing the doldrums for them, then have them list their ideal alternative.

After that i have them brainstorm different things they can do to bridge the gap and achieve that, i have them put check points in so as to track their progress by having them jot down 4 or 5 things they would need to see/ notice to know they have made it to where they want to be within.

This helps focus on solution rather than dwell on the problems.Just one of many things one can do to get the 'Black dog'off their back, something i to have experienced.

Petros G

http://www.holisticcoaching.com.au

[bolivr]

As a Life and spiritual coach one of the things i have my clients do is right down what they feel is causing the doldrums for them, then have them list their ideal alternative.

After that i have them brainstorm different things they can do to bridge the gap and achieve that, i have them put check points in so as to track their progress by having them jot down 4 or 5 things they would need to see/ notice to know they have made it to where they want to be within.

This helps focus on solution rather than dwell on the problems.Just one of many things one can do to get the 'Black dog'off their back, something i to have experienced.

Petros G

http://www.holisticcoaching.com.au

Welcome Petros, I trust we will meet again at the Melbourne meet in May!

Rob, I have been lucky to have rare moments of despondency in my life so far but have to say locking myself away from people worked only slowly to fix things if at all.

Having a good conversation with a close friend about anything at all, basically talking **** for a couple of hours worked wonders. I think it was the simple fact of connecting with another trusted person that was restorative and takes the mind off the crappier events such as those our mate Guy is going through. For me, being in a large group is not as good despite the camaraderie and laughs.

Hope this helps some.

[IcedCanuck]

Physical activity is key for me when I'm dealing with stuff. I find it helps take my mind off everything else which calms, relaxes, puts your head in a better place. I find once I'm physically exhausted dealing with emotions, stress etc all becomes much much easier. Could be from the natural high you get from exercising or just getting being able to take my mind off things for a bit but I have always found it to be my saving grace. When I'm dealing with issues I make it a point to not drink because I feel that will just compound the problem(s) into something even harder to manage. If you have anyone to talk to about it face to face where you can express how you're feeling and get everything off your chest it would be a good idea as well. Hope it helps, stay strong.