Cigar Tall Tales

[JoshMP]

I love those "facts" you hear from non-cigar people. I heard a great one last night whilst attending a function. Lots of D4's being smoked and I hear a gentleman explaining loudly

"Boy I love the smell of cigars. Yeah I do. But you know they're not real. See tobacco has no smell, all that luvverly smell is perfume they add in afterwards. The get Chanel over from America to do it all but it's a big secret. Those Crafty Communists"

I didn't bother to argue with him.

What's your favourite cigar "fact"?

[bunburyist]

There are at least 6 things wrong with that sentence, what a tool

Most common one I hear is too do with wetting or licking the cigar before you smoke. In itself not so bad but seeing someone nosh off their cigar before smoking it can be off putting.

[Kangaroo495]

That Cohibas are the best cigar. And that's why "I only smoke Cohibas".

When someone told me that once, I actually did something I would never normally do - gave him a taste of the cigar I was smoking (ERDM Tainos). He couldn't believe how amazing it was!

[Smooth]

That Cohibas are the best cigar. And that's why "I only smoke Cohibas".

When someone told me that once, I actually did something I would never normally do - gave him a taste of the cigar I was smoking (ERDM Tainos). He couldn't believe how amazing it was!

Heard this one over the weekend at a good mates wedding I attended...

Bloke is smoking a RYJ Tubos to celebrate the occasion in between main and dessert... I ask, 'you smoke cubans...? that RYJ smells pretty good'! He responds, 'Yeah, I normally only smoke Cohiba, they are the best and they are my brand'. I said "oh, so why an RYJ on such an occasion then'? (His sisters and my very good friends wedding)... while pulling out an immaculate cohiba siglo I for a quick fix... He looked, tried to ramble off some rhetoric about his collection before realising he was digging an embarrassing hole in front of smokers... panicked and said 'he needed a pee'...

Couldn't look at me the rest of the night...

Avoided me at all costs... Shame, he was an ok guy all round.

Simple lesson: Never **** off to someone about something you cant **** to.

[maalouly]

Please tell me it is true that my cigars were rolled on the thigh of a beautiful virgin Cuban lady!!!

[laficion]

Cigars are smoked by rich people who in general are bosses

of big companies and who exploit the working class

[Joker]

That you should dip the cap into the whisky or wine that you are drinking!!

Why ruin / mask the flavours of the tobacco - maybe they have never had a half decent CC??

[Colt45]

Check out a few of these

Link

[Kangaroo495]

Ha ha! So it's already been discussed before!

Well, let's continue it anyway! Otherwise the forum will get boring if we don't resurrect topics.

So another one I hate is:

"Maduro wrappers mean the cigar is stronger/tastier/fuller"

[Ellery]

The guy i was sitting next to was smoking an Esplendido. We started talking and he said that a good cuban makes you euphoric/delirious. I really wanted to push the issue, but was enjoying a good story. So I let him describe how euphoric he was feeling from his Esplendido. Reminded me of my acid days. lolololol.

[Colt45]

Well, let's continue it anyway! Otherwise the forum will get boring if we don't resurrect topics.

Kanga, no doubt. There are a couple of reasons for posting links to previous threads:

1-I'm lazy

2-It directs newer members to more info on a subject, and brings it all together in one more current spot.

3-I'm lazy

[Kangaroo495]

Kanga, no doubt. There are a couple of reasons for posting links to previous threads:

1-I'm lazy

2-It directs newer members to more info on a subject, and brings it all together in one more current spot.

3-I'm lazy

True, we could put it all in one.

[jacksfull]

90% of all "Cuban" cigars in the US are fakes.

Not!

......................

Maybe what should be said is, 100% of all Cuban cigars offered for sale by some lowlife on craigslist or some guy at the end of the bar who has glass-top Cohibas in the trunk of his car for sale are fakes.

[jquest63]

Cigar smokers make better lovers! Don't know who started that one, but I'll bet its true!

[MontrealRon]

Cigars are smoked by rich people who in general are bosses

of big companies and who exploit the working class

I don't know, Guy -

Considering what happened before the long Easter weekend,

there might be some truth in that statement.

[LeafLover]

CIGARS ARE EXPENSIVE!!!!!. (Oh, wait a minute, that's true isn't it?)

[ARRV]

Please tell me it is true that my cigars were rolled on the thigh of a beautiful virgin Cuban lady!!!

Undoubtedly true.

[El Presidente]

You can tell the country source of tobacco by tasting the ash...

Fell for that one

[dochowl]

As I sit here smoking my Bolivar Corona Junior (my favorite size), I am reminded of a statement I've heard more than once... "The size of a man's johnson is inversely proportionate to the size of his favorite cigar." also known as "the bigger the cigar, the smaller the... (you get the idea).

[dicko]

CIGARS ARE EXPENSIVE!!!!!. (Oh, wait a minute, that's true isn't it?)

haha, bugger

[Cubanface]

I actually heard of a cigar retailer who was explaining to a customer that when he got his shipment in of the particular cigar the man wanted they wouldn't be ready. Or they'd be too fresh. So he goes that's o.k. I'll rapid age them. So they guy says what's rapid aging? He tells him he puts his cigars in the microwave to "rapid age" them.

[MIKA27]

I actually heard of a cigar retailer who was explaining to a customer that when he got his shipment in of the particular cigar the man wanted they wouldn't be ready. Or they'd be too fresh. So he goes that's o.k. I'll rapid age them. So they guy says what's rapid aging? He tells him he puts his cigars in the microwave to "rapid age" them.

WTF!?

I must say (Its already been mentioned) I too have heard many state that cigars are best dipped in a glass of rum/scotch etc prior to smoking. Absolute rubbish.

I have also heard the comment about cigars being rolled on the thighs of women. It's funny when someone believes that and imagines a beautiful cuban hottie only to find that it's some old wrinkled up woman smoking a foot long custom rolled stogie whos 70+ years old.

[jsaunders9]

You don't need a humidor, just store your cigars in the freezer.

I once heard this from a "tabbaconist" that started up and closed down rather quickly. He offered me Esplendidos that weren't in his humi. I say "oh, where are they, I want to take a look at them" He replies "they are at home, to high risk to keep here due to break ins, we just had one last week and they cleaned me out of Cohibas". So I ask "what size humi do you have at home?" His response was "I don't, just keep em in the freezer, don't need a humi".

[marcrichman]

Here's one of my favorite idiotic cigar stories. I was sitting at my local cigar shop enjoying a nice Fuente Between the Lines and there was a guy talking about his infinite cigar experience. He wasn't a regular at the shop and we knew he was quite full of it after about 5 minutes. He proceeded to mention that he likes to put pieces of apple in his humidor in order to flavor his cigars. I burst out laughing. What a clown!

[samb]

Here's one of my favorite idiotic cigar stories. I was sitting at my local cigar shop enjoying a nice Fuente Between the Lines and there was a guy talking about his infinite cigar experience. He wasn't a regular at the shop and we knew he was quite full of it after about 5 minutes. He proceeded to mention that he likes to put pieces of apple in his humidor in order to flavor his cigars. I burst out laughing. What a clown!

Maybe he puts the apple in there because his cigars are dried out. Maybe thats actually his humidifier...

My lawyer friend is Cuban and when he flies down to there every year, he always brings me back a box from the factory...