Cigar Tall Tales

[LeafLover]

In the distant past, I used to be very interested in how reviewers of cigar review websites reviewed cigars. But, I gradually became quite suspicious about their reviews as it seemed that they LOVED 99 percent of the cigars they smoked. Then when I go to try them, their reviews are way off the mark and most often aren't as good as they reviewed.

Or, they almost seem apologetic, so as to not offend, if they don't like the cigar. Kind of like, "Yah, this cigar really tasted like beef jerky... but the flavors are of high grade beef jerky flavors."

So, I guess tall tales are being told quite often by cigar reviewers, especially by those hosting the website. I wonder why My 2cents.

(I'm sure this is common knowledge to us all, but just posting it for the record)

[Cubanface]

Also I think when you get a good Cuban, it blows away any other cigar made any place else. But, often people think just because it is Cuban it's a great cigar. Not the case.

[BigGuns]

"Cuban cigars are illegal in the US because they have cocaine in them."

- my wife's younger cousin. God bless her...

[cigcars]

WTF!?

I must say (Its already been mentioned) I too have heard many state that cigars are best dipped in a glass of rum/scotch etc prior to smoking. Absolute rubbish.

I have also heard the comment about cigars being rolled on the thighs of women. It's funny when someone believes that and imagines a beautiful cuban hottie only to find that it's some old wrinkled up woman smoking a foot long custom rolled stogie whos 70+ years old.

I read Zino Davidoff's book and he said when he was a little boy and in Cuba, he snuck away to the cigar factory nearby because he wanted to see one of these pretty young women rolling cigars on her thighs. He stood on a box, peered inside the window, "And all I saw were big, sweaty, ugly men working feverishly at the rolling tables."

[Omskakas]

Me and my friends are smoking Party Shorts when this old man comes around laughing.

Man: It's good to see people smoking cigars. Few smoke cigars nowadays. Especially such fine cigars as you have.

Me: (looking confused)

Man: Too bad you doing it wrong! *laughing*

Me: Please, explain (more confused)

Man: *laughing* You're smoking the cigars wrong way! Such a fine cigars you have, it's a shame.

Me: (this is getting annoying) So, please. Tell us what's wrong with the way we're smokin?

Man: I've been around, you know. I've been in Saudi-Arabia, Riad where they smoked lots of fine cigars, I know!

Me: And?

Man: The correct way to smoke a cigar is to blow the smoke from the side of your mouth! That's what they did in Riad! *laughing*

Me: It's actually a matter of taste. Like somebody likes to drink beer from a glass and another from a bottle (pointing out cheap beer the old man was drinking)

Man: Don't you tell me! I know, because I've been in places! You're wasting your fine expensive(!) cigars smoking them wrong way!

Me: This isn't so expensive. It's my everyday smoke.

Man: Say no more.

Later the man explained he was drinking absinthe from small bottles he'd bought from an airplane. I didn't tell him that those little bottles were probably much more expensive than my *fine* cigars. Oh, and he was smoking cigarettes.

[Ken Gargett]

I love those "facts" you hear from non-cigar people. I heard a great one last night whilst attending a function. Lots of D4's being smoked and I hear a gentleman explaining loudly

"Boy I love the smell of cigars. Yeah I do. But you know they're not real. See tobacco has no smell, all that luvverly smell is perfume they add in afterwards. The get Chanel over from America to do it all but it's a big secret. Those Crafty Communists"

I didn't bother to argue with him.

What's your favourite cigar "fact"?

wouldn't you just pay to be next to that bloke when he said it. especially after a few drinks.

not strictly cigars but i remember a mate telling me about a dinner party - in sydney i think but that not strictly relevant - a doctor's wife on hearing of my mate's interest in cuba started banging on about how great it was that one country still stood up for the worker and how she was 100% behind them and solidarity to all and on and on. now i would've given a year's salary, or even something valuable, to have been there. she would have driven home to their harbour mansion and who knows how many beamers - not to mention skiing in aspen and the rest of it - while a cuban doctor and his wife, had they gone to dinner at friends, would have tried to flag down a passing car or jump on a bus to get home. stupid stupid woman. i just wonder what a cuban would have thought.

[messa]

The one I hear is that the rollers lick the wrapper to finish the cigar instead applying glue...

The worst part is they know so little yet say it with such conviction.

[messa]

You don't need a humidor, just store your cigars in the freezer.

I once heard this from a "tabbaconist" that started up and closed down rather quickly. He offered me Esplendidos that weren't in his humi. I say "oh, where are they, I want to take a look at them" He replies "they are at home, to high risk to keep here due to break ins, we just had one last week and they cleaned me out of Cohibas". So I ask "what size humi do you have at home?" His response was "I don't, just keep em in the freezer, don't need a humi".

I have an uncle that does the same. He's one of those guys that you can't convince is wrong... so instead of argue I just smiled and laughed my ass off silently in my head