Anyone for golf?

[Ken Gargett]

the good news is that this is not the most venomous land snake in the world. the less good news is that it is probably second. and while taipans are usually quite timid, these things are seriously aggressive and have been known to chase people. which rarely ends well. 

https://www.news.com.au/sport/golf/massive-brown-snake-slithers-across-golf-course/news-story/a9641d0a7a625b937b74c7c50c2b9f86

 

[Ford2112]

Note to self: if the vegemite doesn't kill you, 90% of Australian critters will.

[Ken Gargett]

9 minutes ago, Ford2112 said:

Note to self: if the vegemite doesn't kill you, 90% of Australian critters will.

let us know which are the safe 10% because we have no idea. 

[El Presidente]

That is one big Brown. One nip and you have a solid 15-20 minutes to make peace with your God. 

[MagicalBikeRide]

Chap taking the video is placing a lot of trust in the engine of that golf cart 😅

[Ken Gargett]

25 minutes ago, MagicalBikeRide said:

Chap taking the video is placing a lot of trust in the engine of that golf cart 😅

that snake could quite literally go in circles around a golf cart, even if the cart was full steam. they are seriously fast if they want to be. you are not outrunning one. 

[Fuzz]

4 hours ago, MagicalBikeRide said:

Chap taking the video is placing a lot of trust in the engine of that golf cart 😅

The cameraman never dies

[MagicalBikeRide]

5 hours ago, Ken Gargett said:

that snake could quite literally go in circles around a golf cart, even if the cart was full steam. they are seriously fast if they want to be. you are not outrunning one. 

Wow. That’s wild.

So who we got then - 100m sprint - brown snake vs a typical golf cart. Who’s the winner?

[Chibearsv]

9 hours ago, MagicalBikeRide said:

Wow. That’s wild.

So who we got then - 100m sprint - brown snake vs a typical golf cart. Who’s the winner?

I actually looked this up so I could argue how silly the speed statement was. It turns out, not so silly. Fastest snake in the world is the sidewinder that can move 18 miles per hour which is crazy fast, like human sprinting fast. I never expected that kind of number. Eastern Brown can move 12 MPH which is pretty damned fast...same speed as your average golf cart 

[BoliDan]

Ha. I have a couple of friends from Victoria that are loggers. They encounter and are chased by these on the regular. Highly venomous and easily aggravated. Oz is something else.

[Drguano]

Found on golf courses, eh?

 

[Ken Gargett]

3 hours ago, Drguano said:

Found on golf courses, eh?

found everywhere.

7 hours ago, Chibearsv said:

I actually looked this up so I could argue how silly the speed statement was. It turns out, not so silly. Fastest snake in the world is the sidewinder that can move 18 miles per hour which is crazy fast, like human sprinting fast. I never expected that kind of number. Eastern Brown can move 12 MPH which is pretty damned fast...same speed as your average golf cart 

i looked it all up as well. i actually thought that they could go a fair bit faster than that. for our American friends, that is literally three times faster than the southern black racer. which from here on in, shall be called the southern black old age pensioner. racer? a misnomer of ever there was one. 

mind you, that apparently makes the brown the 2nd quickest snake on the planet. i could not believe the quickest - a sidewinder. who knew? i still think that has to be a mistake. 

[westg]

It's the speed at which they strike you need to worry about. We had number one Doodle head at work. There was a little Taipan (200mm) in an empty box. He thought it was dead so he went to touch it to see if it was in fact dead. Bang straight on the finger. Didn't even see it coming. Helicopter straight to Port Hedland hospital . Last I heard he was in good spirits.  

[El Presidente]

1 minute ago, westg said:

He thought it was dead so he went to touch it to see if it was in fact dead. Bang straight on the finger. 

[Drguano]

49 minutes ago, Ken Gargett said:

found everywhere.

Not where we really need it…

[MagicalBikeRide]

Asked an LLM for pure curiosity - 

 

“Who wins in a 100m sprint? A brown snake or a typical modern golf cart?”

———————————

Brown Snake (Eastern Brown Snake)

• Top speed: Around 18 km/h (11 mph)
• 100m time: Roughly 20 seconds (give or take)

Typical Modern Golf Cart

• Top speed: Usually 19–25 km/h (12–15.5 mph) for unmodified ones
• 100m time: About 14–19 seconds, depending on terrain, load, and speed limiter settings

Result:

The golf cart wins, but just barely if it’s at the slower end of its speed range. On flat terrain with no passengers and no speed limiter, it’ll comfortably beat the snake. But if you’re in a sluggish cart with a governor on and a hill involved… you might see that snake keeping up better than expected.

Want to make it more interesting? Add a corner or two — snakes handle turns a lot better than golf carts.

[Fuzz]

2 hours ago, westg said:

It's the speed at which they strike you need to worry about. We had number one Doodle head at work. There was a little Taipan (200mm) in an empty box. He thought it was dead so he went to touch it to see if it was in fact dead. Bang straight on the finger. Didn't even see it coming. Helicopter straight to Port Hedland hospital . Last I heard he was in good spirits.  

Guess he was never told to never touch a death noodle, even if you think it is dead. Heck, even after death they can still bite and inject venom for quite some time, as the reflex remains active for up to an hour.

[Ford2112]

4 hours ago, westg said:

Last I heard he was in good spirits.  

😵‍💫

[Ken Gargett]

10 hours ago, westg said:

It's the speed at which they strike you need to worry about. We had number one Doodle head at work. There was a little Taipan (200mm) in an empty box. He thought it was dead so he went to touch it to see if it was in fact dead. Bang straight on the finger. Didn't even see it coming. Helicopter straight to Port Hedland hospital . Last I heard he was in good spirits.  

incredibly lucky to be alive. just born snakes are just as venomous as the big ones. the big ones might have a bit more venom but if one taipan has enough to kill 200 blokes then a small one has enough. also, the very young have not yet learnt to save their venom like the older ones. so they will just inject as much as they can. older ones might, if you are really lucky, dry bite.