Keep pretending this was never you

[Fosgate]

You ever notice the front door stories people tell are always someone else when they tell it. Never mind the big lump or scar on their forehead. Pizza cutter anyone?

 

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https://www.facebook.com/100014550486905/videos/1120247408470265/

[griller]

Been there, done that, but without a pizza cutter. Been all 3 of those guys at some point in my wilder, single days. Still, hilarious!

[Mickey D]

OMG, the whole scenario is epic! The laughter, the belch, the pizza cutter, the face plant, then... “perfect” comment. LMAO!

[Fosgate]

I've had a uniformed cop on each wing and one smacked me face first into the door as we all three tried to go in the door at once. It was a mutual friends and officers bachelor party. We showed up back home with the party van, neighbors called the cops, they basically just carried all us drunk civvies and officers inside. I woke up the next morning in a panic thinking I was in jail, still drunk with a hat pulled over my eyes thinking I was in solitary about to be cornholed with a buddy laughing his ass off watching me panic. I went to work two hours later. 

[El Presidente]

One 4am I couldn't fit through the front door to my house because I  thought my shirt sleeves were too big......

 

[riderpride]

Wow, last time that happened i thought "better not disturb the wife , I'll sleep on the lawn"

Worst decision ever. She wouldn't talk to me for 2 weeks cuz she thought I didn't come in because I smelt like another woman (definitely not the case).

 

[Ken Gargett]

4 hours ago, riderpride said:

Wow, last time that happened i thought "better not disturb the wife , I'll sleep on the lawn"

Worst decision ever. She wouldn't talk to me for 2 weeks cuz she thought I didn't come in because I smelt like another woman (definitely not the case).

 

i remember thinking i'd better not wake the family back when i was at uni. not sure what the thought processes were after that but i woke up in a tree next to the driveway as the old man drove out to work. i must really have wedged myself in. thankfully the old man didn't look up at the time as i suspect i'd still be in purgatory. 

[joeypots]

Way more than once.

 

[FHFinster]

Holy sh that was funny

[Rhinoww]

been there. Done that. Still hear the stories 20 years later. Fun though.