GUANTANAMERA Cristales

[Montaigut]

I was brought up to have a healthy suspicion of consensus opinions; it has served me right...

... up to now.

Cigar marca: GUANTANAMERA

Vitola: Cristales

APPEARANCE

Old, tanned and sun-weathered leather.

Dry and dusty wrapper.

Single cap, pre-cut (either that or the cap had a beetle hole in it).

AROMA

Wrapper smells like a combination of mothballs and gasoline.

Foot has a surprisingly sweet, and somewhat sickening, ovomaltine aroma.

COLD DRAW

Good side of tight draw.

Dry chalky hay taste.

COMPANION DRINK

This cigars hints at needing a very strong and sanitizing companion; settled for gin and lime on ice.

OPENING

Mild.

Cigarette taste and aroma (used to smoke fags so I can recognize the signs)

Nothing cigar-like about this stick so far.

FIRST 1/3

Bland. Still mostly cigarette-like taste and aroma.

Touch of a whisper of a hint of spice through the nose... woohoo this is promising!

Nahhh.. it wasn't spice after all, just acridity building up.

Tortured looking ash, like something out of a B series Mars landscape.

Brilliant how the wrapper varicose vein has managed to somehow overlap perfectly all along the cigar.

SECOND 1/3

Neither cigarette nor cigar at this point; can't figure out really what I am reviewing exactly...

Strong "chemical" licorice aftertaste on the tongue.

Thank God for the sanitizing power of raw gin!

Bloody hell: the smoke is attracting a flight of very angry and pissed off wasps.

From the safety of my office I can see the wasps retreating to safety after buzzing the cigar (forgot my camera outside!).

THIRD 1/3

This is a deep thinking man's cigar. My head is swirling with philosophical and relativistic thoughts and questions:

- why am I here?

- wow! ...time really can slow down to a painful crawl!

- I will need more gin...

Feeling slightly nauseous I throw in the towel... the little sucker has won fair and square.

RATING

This cigar is definitely a 91... ...1

AFTERTHOUGHT

At the risk of sinking the petition to HSA, this is the perfect argument for supporting discontinuations!!

[Ghabanos]

Taking one for the team. Never tried but heard lots about em. Thanks

[Montaigut]

Taking one for the team. Never tried but heard lots about em. Thanks

Nothing like first hand experience.... Trust me!

[IcedCanuck]

I still have a few lying around that I let non-smokers try when I think they won't finish a 'real' cigar.

[riazp]

I still have a few lying around that I let non-smokers try when I think they won't finish a 'real' cigar.

Ditto

[Nino]

Wow,

great review, made me laugh and very happy I've never tried the "combination of mothballs and gasoline" !!

Thank you !!

[rckymtn22]

Taking one for the team. Never tried but heard lots about em. Thanks

Gabriel, I have one or two you can try when you are in Calgary! Got a few aging, left over from the days I didn't know any better!

[canadianbeaver]

At the recent opening event of the LCDH Toronto, the grab bag included a cigar, A cd and Cuban bag of coffee, lighter, cutter and this:

[Montaigut]

At the recent opening event of the LCDH Toronto, the grab bag included a cigar, A cd and Cuban bag of coffee, lighter, cutter and this:

Lisa

In the name of all that is holy don't bring this sucker close to any open flame!!

Two words for you: mothball and gasoline...

Call HazMat

[canadianbeaver]

Lisa

In the name that all that is holy don't bring this sucker close to any open flame!!

Two words for you: mothball and gasoline...

Call HazMat

We dared each other to wear it to the Toronto Herf on the 28th!

[winelover]

Great pics and informative review. I've had about 2 in my life as a retailer gave me a free 5 pack once. Just as you described really. Another drink pairing I'd imagine would work well is straight vodka.

[Ginseng]

Gutsy. Stupid, but gutsy.

Kidding aside, every lover of Habanos has to try one of these at least once in their lives. Until you do, you don't know how good you have it with sticks like the Partagas shorts, Mag46, etc. A level below Jose L. Piedras. Two levels below Quinteros. These are the blunts of the Cuban cigar world.

Wilkey

[Montaigut]

We dared each other to wear it to the Toronto Herf on the 28th!

Allrighty then, if you really must at least be prepared: get yourself a Hazmat suit to wear under the t-shirt.

[LGC]

If I ever become addicted to cigars, or smoke so many that I turn to crap like these... I will give it up all together.

[mk05]

I died reading this at the office.

Will you review some other sticks I will never smoke? You're writing is excellent.

[Montaigut]

I died reading this at the office.

Will you review some other sticks I will never smoke? You're writing is excellent.

Thank you!

No. I will not submit myself to another Guantanamaresque experience. Honestly just thinking about it still makes me feel queasy.

Cheers

Dan

[Jnaube]

This has to be one of the funniest reviews I've ever read. I mean, Mothballs and gasoline!!!! Serioulsly man, great review. I remember about fifteen years ago when I was a cigar beginner and smoking a bunch of dominicans because cubans were out of my price range, my gf bought me a box of crystalles, back then, they never struck me as ultra bad cigars because I was so excited to smoke a Cuban. The funny thing is that I recently had one and it was really, really bad.this is the proof that good cigars are definitly like wine, you start with the basics and you go up the ladder. The problem is that once you are at the top of the ladder, it's really hard to cone down. You should have smoked a Cohiba after just to compare... That's what I did.