Nationalist Self-Deprecation Through Stereotyping competition

[frenchkiwi]

From this topic

As for stereotypes, i will get in there first and declare myself an insular-minded cultureless dole-bludging haka-performing sheep-shagger with a penchant for red wine, smelly cheeses, garlic necklaces, stripy shirts and multiple simultaneous love affairs of dubious standing which go off with an uranium-tainted bang.

Actually, since i've given a short list of stereotypes about the french and the kiwis, could an Australian member provide me with a similar stereotypical summary about the national character?

In one long sentence. In fact, any nationalities are invited to self-stereotype. Winner will be declared and gain the esteem of this new member, his peers, and the eternal hatred of his fellow countrymen...

Over to you...

[samb]

Where do I sign up?

Im in debt up to my eyeballs. But my life is filled with superficial materialistic extravegances, all purchased from my local mall.

[mkz]

Dont tell anyone, but we swedes are envious socialists.

[frenchkiwi]

Dont tell anyone, but we swedes are envious socialists.

interesting ... envious of who? rich capitalist free-marketeers (the few)? Or of the Finns?

[frenchkiwi]

Where do I sign up?

Im in debt up to my eyeballs. But my life is filled with superficial materialistic extravegances, all purchased from my local mall.

i believe you. you are obviously also about to admit that you're going to post on the "guns and cigars" topic with a Very Big Gun and a rant about the 2nd amendment?? ;-)

(the only thing we're allowed to shoot in NZ are australians. but our slingshots and water pistols don't have the range)

[maalouly]

interesting ... envious of who? rich capitalist free-marketeers (the few)? Or of the Finns?

From their norwegian neighbours

[SamuraiJack]

Everyone should envy Norway, best place to live in the world, unless these guys are your neighbors http://chrz.dk/punktum/?p=100

Here in Chicago, my gal and I noticed a lot of vacant storefronts in our old neighborhood, only nail salons and tanning left, and one vacant spot had a sign "looking for nail salons." Why would a property owner care who rents, as long as they pay rent? We concluded that Americans are content as long as they look good, are tan, and have their weekly mani pedi's. Would I be surprised to hear of someone homeless paying for a tan? No.

[mkz]

interesting ... envious of who? rich capitalist free-marketeers (the few)? Or of the Finns?

We are simply envious of everything. If I cant have it, no one else shall... Someone once said that a swede´s envy is greater than his sex drive...

and yeah... who isnt envious on those seal-killer-norwegians with all their oil, fjords and women just as good looking as ours...?

[fryguy]

This thread is just begging for a post (rant) from Ken"aussiekiwi"Gargett. ................Were waiting!

[samb]

i believe you. you are obviously also about to admit that you're going to post on the "guns and cigars" topic with a Very Big Gun and a rant about the 2nd amendment?? ;-)

(the only thing we're allowed to shoot in NZ are australians. but our slingshots and water pistols don't have the range)

I hope their boomerangs dont have the range either. Thats the good thing about America, the money not spent on oil is spent on a massive supply of WMDs (just in case the Russians attack).

[Kangaroo495]

(just in case the Russians attack).

Money wisely spent..

[frenchkiwi]

I hope their boomerangs dont have the range either. Thats the good thing about America, the money not spent on oil is spent on a massive supply of WMDs (just in case the Russians attack).

yeah well when i said that new zealand only had slingshots and water pistols i was exaggerating - we don't have the technology to make the water pistols and actually have to import them from china (they might cut off the shipments at any time).

so those boomerangs have a lethal balance-of-power tipping quality to them right now in terms of anzac relations.

[come to think of it the Chinese pensioners own most of US debt so they could probably pull the plug on US WMDs as well. or at least some of the shopping mall binges]

[CJNI]

In my part of the world:

A baffling mix of complete lunatics who would start a fight in an empty country and some fantastically talented people - we designed and built the most amazing and massive ship of its time and even then we screwed it up - I mean, where else has given the world such diverse people as U2, George Best, Alex Higgins, CS Lewis, Liam Neeson, Colin Bateman, Joey Dunlop, Colin Turkington, Eddies Irvine and Jordan, John Watson, Snow Patrol, Nadine from Girls Aloud, Big Ian Paisley and Gerry Adams?

I'll leave it to you to decide which of these people fall into which category...

[gfoster]

Hmm, I'll bite...

I come from the land of "bigger is better". Anything that can be done is worth overdoing. Glorious excess in anything and everything we do. I mean after all, if a Big Mac is good, three of them is better! Why drive a small car when we can just invade a country, steal their oil and drive a HUMONGOUS car instead?

We also know better than you how your country should be run, so just get out of our way and let us do it for you. You'll thank us in 40 or 50 years when we finally decide to pull our marines out.

Also, it's important to remember that we were founded by puritans so while we have a murder every three seconds on television (and that's just the children's shows, mind you) the entire country grinds to a halt if someone flashes a nipple. If God had intended us to look at bare flesh, we wouldn't be born with clothes on (oh... wait...).

We are all issued guns at birth and anyone found not carrying a gun in their pocket, lunchbox, glovebox of the car, purse, etc at all times is immediately arrested, beaten soundly and then shipped off to France.

We are the world's best tourists because everyone speaks *OUR* language. If they don't understand what we are saying, it is obviously because they are deaf so we just speak louder and wave around a few hundred dollar bills. That always works.

I'll add that I know this is supposed to be one sentence but obviously the rules don't apply to us!

I love my country

-- Gary F.

[Ryan]

Ireland: A pile of overpriced property sitting in the sea with a bunch of alcoholics clinging onto it.

[frenchkiwi]

In my part of the world:

A baffling mix of complete lunatics who would start a fight in an empty country and some fantastically talented people - we designed and built the most amazing and massive ship of its time and even then we screwed it up - I mean, where else has given the world such diverse people as U2, George Best, Alex Higgins, CS Lewis, Liam Neeson, Colin Bateman, Joey Dunlop, Colin Turkington, Eddies Irvine and Jordan, John Watson, Snow Patrol, Nadine from Girls Aloud, Big Ian Paisley and Gerry Adams?

I'll leave it to you to decide which of these people fall into which category...

now, if you could post an audio file of yourself reading out those names in a proper northern irish accent, we'd understand! ;-)

[frenchkiwi]

Hmm, I'll bite...

I come from the land of "bigger is better". Anything that can be done is worth overdoing. Glorious excess in anything and everything we do. I mean after all, if a Big Mac is good, three of them is better! Why drive a small car when we can just invade a country, steal their oil and drive a HUMONGOUS car instead?

We also know better than you how your country should be run, so just get out of our way and let us do it for you. You'll thank us in 40 or 50 years when we finally decide to pull our marines out.

Also, it's important to remember that we were founded by puritans so while we have a murder every three seconds on television (and that's just the children's shows, mind you) the entire country grinds to a halt if someone flashes a nipple. If God had intended us to look at bare flesh, we wouldn't be born with clothes on (oh... wait...).

We are all issued guns at birth and anyone found not carrying a gun in their pocket, lunchbox, glovebox of the car, purse, etc at all times is immediately arrested, beaten soundly and then shipped off to France.

We are the world's best tourists because everyone speaks *OUR* language. If they don't understand what we are saying, it is obviously because they are deaf so we just speak louder and wave around a few hundred dollar bills. That always works.

I'll add that I know this is supposed to be one sentence but obviously the rules don't apply to us!

I love my country

-- Gary F.

Gotta love that !!!!

[frenchkiwi]

A few years of anthropologic studies of my new countrymen leads me to post the following sterotypes of younger Australian males and females:

Males: "Beer drinking, drunk driving, thong wearing, uncultivated, mummy dependant, chauvinist hoons"

Females: "Gum chewing, breezer drinking, skimpy dressing, gossip reading, ignorant boganites"

nice one...

Now, if i click on "Report", does that go straight to your "thong wearing, uncultivated" fellow australian moderators who kick you off the forum ?

[frenchkiwi]

OK I will make one more call for posts, hopefully there are some members from a few other exotic nationalities out there that want to have a shot at denigrating their fellows.

I notice so far that the greatest number of entries come from the US, and this despite a reputation for being one of the countries that are over-sensitive about national pride.

Congrats - you are doing your nation proud by slagging it off!! (a once in a lifetime opportunity - elsewhere you will be hung drawn and quartered for it).

... and we're learning some new things about people. e.g. the envious swedes!!! :-)

[CJNI]

I was going to have another go at writing something better.

But, typical of my fellow Northern Irish denizens, I was too drunk, too knackered, too hungover, was tarmacing a driveway, was on the run from the law, from a girl and from her dad, was too busy fighting my neighbour over some long forgotten insult and was composing some daft music and an even dafter dance to go along with it to remember what it was I was meant to be writing and couldn't be bothered so I marched down the town on my traditional route humming a song that I don't know all the words to but love as it winds up the bloke across the street, wandered into a shop, nicked some smokes and then went to a bar whereupon I tried my new (25 years ago) chat up line, "Did you know that the blarney stone bent over backawards and kissed me?" and to the amazement of everyone it worked so now I am stuck in a mid-terrace house living with some girl, her ma, her sisters and 27 screaming kids, some of which may or may not be mine but sure its all grand as the footies on the telly and I've a guinness in my hand darlin'