Handling Female Snoring

[El Presidente]

Hypothetical

Assuming .....the love of your life has recently taking to "snoring"...not talking about purring here...but Industrial machinery standard ...breaching of all Domestic Sound regulations....snoring. The type that wakes you up at 2am reaching for a baseball bat thinking that "Alien" is coming through the ducted airconditioning pipes.

Do You

1. Mention nothing.

2. Mention Nothing.

3. Sleep in the kids room

4. Make her sleep in the kids room.

5. Make a tape of it and play it back to her.

6. Smother her with a pillow and put the pillow in the youngests room (can't convict a minor :-) )

7. Start sleeping with ear plugs.

8. Knock yourself out each evening with a 1/2 bottle of scotch and Sleeping tablets.

Any other suggestions which may work?

Purely hypothetical mind you

[shrink]

Two rules appy here...

Rule One: Mention nothing.

If Rule One doesn't work, try Rule Two:

Rule One still applies.

[DC1]

» Hypothetical

»

» Assuming .....the love of your life has recently taking to "snoring"...not

» talking about purring here...but Industrial machinery standard ...breaching

» of all Domestic Sound regulations....snoring. The type that wakes you up at

» 2am reaching for a baseball bat thinking that "Alien" is coming through the

» ducted airconditioning pipes.

»

» Do You

»

» 1. Mention nothing.

» 2. Mention Nothing.

» 3. Sleep in the kids room

» 4. Make her sleep in the kids room.

» 5. Make a tape of it and play it back to her.

» 6. Smother her with a pillow and put the pillow in the youngests room

» (can't convict a minor :-) )

» 7. Start sleeping with ear plugs.

» 8. Knock yourself out each evening with a 1/2 bottle of scotch and

» Sleeping tablets.

»

» Any other suggestions which may work?

»

»

» Purely hypothetical mind you

All of the above!

[habanohal]

Well if her mouth is open..............you might as well use it !!:-D

That ll teach her;-)

[Claudius]

Damn... LOL

I slept next to my brother in Madrid 2 weeks ago. I was almost aslepp when he started snoring. At first, it was "normal" snoring, then it got louder. At one point, it was so loud I thought he was awake and kidding me. But he was asleep! I laughed so hard... but I couldnt hear myself laughing, that's how loud he snored. Like an old car with a diesel engine accelerating next to you. I slapped him with a pillow, turned him on the side, but it didnt work. Took me an hour to finally pass out.

I told a few people and heard you have to turn them onto the belly. I'm guessing that could work. Maybe try that. I hope she won't wake up (hypothetically speaking, of course :-D).

[Jimmy2]

Me and my wife are expecting another kid in May and she has a habit of snoring.

Now me its hard for me to go to sleep with any noise.

I just give her a kick in the leg and when i get her to turn over a certain way she dont snore any more.

One time it took 5 little kicks to get her to stop.

Whats great about it they have no idea you kicked them because they are sleeping.:-D

[Colt45]

Didn't you learn the last time? When you put your hand in fire, and it hurts, remove hand from fire.

Do not keep putting hand in fire (or nuts in vise).

[Ben]

» Whats great about it they have no idea you kicked them because they are

» sleeping.:-D

Meanwhile she's trying to assure her Doctor that she has no idea why she is black and blue and her Husband certainly does not beat her. :-D

[Tampa1257]

The Topic should be "What do you do when you find out Your WIFE has Sleep Apnea?"

It is called a C.P.A.P., and if you notice that your partner stops breathing and gasps for air while snoring, that is a Classic sign of Sleep Apnea.

She is really going to LOVE you more when the Doc's tell her she has to sleep with a mask covering her nose from now on, but one GREAT thing about a C.P.A.P., is that it is physically Impossible to snore when wearing a properly fitted mask. No More Snoring!!!!!!!

[El Presidente]

Thanks Tampa.

I have requested she wear various masks in the past (Wonder Woman, Cat Woman) but the requests appeared only to aggravate her

[SmokinLightning]

Ahhh reminds me of when I first got married.

I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes for no good reason, and I usually look over to gaze in adoration at my lovely bride sleeping gently beside me...

...and there she is flat on her back, head turned to the side, snoring like a chainsaw, hair plastered to the side of her face with drool.

Honeymoon is definately over....

[habanohal]

» Thanks Tampa.

»

» I have requested she wear various masks in the past (Wonder Woman, Cat

» Woman) but the requests appeared only to aggravate her

Mee too!! But I asked for differant color wigs :-D

[kmax]

» The Topic should be "What do you do when you find out Your WIFE has Sleep

» Apnea?"

»

» It is called a C.P.A.P., and if you notice that your partner stops

» breathing and gasps for air while snoring, that is a Classic sign of Sleep

» Apnea.

»

» She is really going to LOVE you more when the Doc's tell her she has to

» sleep with a mask covering her nose from now on, but one GREAT thing about

» a C.P.A.P., is that it is physically Impossible to snore when wearing a

» properly fitted mask. No More Snoring!!!!!!!

To add to this if she gets the oxygen mask she will sleep better than she ever has in her life!

[Ben]

Erm Rob, Wonder Woman does not wear a mask, she rocks the Tiara however ;-)

[El Presidente]

» Erm Rob, Wonder Woman does not wear a mask, she rocks the Tiara however ;-)

.....no I wanted the full Lynda Carter Mask with Tiara ;-)

[Ben]

ROFL Nice one.

[anacostiakat]

I elbow her awake and then pretend I am asleep. . .

[Tom Bolivar]

Since I do Number 8 every night I do not have a problem at all

[Wiley]

Usually I try a stealthy nudge, shove, or kick. After which I pretend to be sleeping so she thinks she dreamed the whole thing! :-D

[xibbumbero]

Currently,I employ #1,#2 and #7. I bought a jar of a hundred foam ear plugs and change them once a week. X:sleeping:

[bobsled]

5 is not a good idea. Tried it.

Try shaking the bed gently, if that doesn't work, try number 8.