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this is reputedly a copy of a genuine letter recently forwarded by a k-mart manager to a customer in view of her husband's activities.

12 March 2005

Jon Walker

Store Manager

Kmart store 4855

Summit Ridge, Reno, NV, 89503

Mrs. Fenton

35 Rasmussen Street

Moores Park, Reno, NV, 89503

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

During the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husbands activities while in our store. The

list below details his offences, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras and we have retained copies

on tape.

We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store and he has subsequently ignored

them. He replied to these warning with rudeness and the response “while the wife shops here I will come here too”. We

are therefore forced to ban you, your husband and your family from this store.

The following list details your husbands activates in this store over the past six months.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares and watched what happened.

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-buy.

September 14: Moved a 'Caution -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite the in if they'll bring pillows.

September 23: If any staff offers him assistance he begins to cry and asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?”

October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror, and picked his nose.

November 10: While in the gun department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna Look" using different size funnels.

December 18: Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

December 23: Went in the fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet

paper in here!

John F. Walker

Store Manager

Kmart store 4855 Store Phone: (775) 746-4700

SUMMIT RIDGE, RENO, NV, 89503 Pharmacy Phone: (775) 746-3030

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I have been known to have done some of those very same things, but I'm not going to tell you which ones, there are still a few on the list that I have wanted to do but just not yet had the opportunity........................


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very funny!

I should let you guys know, that I saw the exact same e-mail or text, except without the K-mart manager, wife and husband when I worked retail in 2001.

Someone just added the storemanager/letter stuff

but still funny nonetheless!

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  • 4 months later...

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