It is not easy getting old

[El Presidente]

 

Indeed, it is not easy getting old 

I have had both my parents in hospital over the past month and it has necessitated me being away from work and the forum for large slabs of a time.  Mum is 85 and Dad 90. Both were in remarkably good health until late September and then a fall here and a medical test there …….game on.

I am blessed having two brothers and their wives who all pitched in.

Mum arrived home from hospital two weeks ago and dad came home yesterday. Both are in good spirits but my brothers and I know the past month has been a reminder that things are about to change.

The formulae isn’t hard. Loving kindness, patience, spend time, don’t leave anything good…..unsaid.

 We hope to get many more good years out of them.

If you have parents (or grandparents) still alive, reach out to them this weekend 

 

 Apologies if I have missed your email or PM over the past couple of weeks.  It has been “hands on” but I should be back up to speed by mid next week. 

 

[Webbo]

Could not agree more Rob. We are the same age and I have the same situation with my mum who is 84. I was living overseas the last few years of my Dad's life and it’s one of the reasons I moved back to the UK to spend more time with her while I can. She cooked me dinner tonight and the simple pleasure of eating together and her joy at being able to look after her 58 year old “little boy” was priceless to me, best few hours I have spent in a long time.  

 

[Drguano]

Your parents raised good kids and you are paying them back with love and care. Agnes and I will keep you all guys in our hearts.

[Chibearsv]

I’m blessed that my 84 year old parents are still around and my dad and I talk about mostly nothing every Sunday morning, just to hear each other. We’ve never been closer even though they live 1200 miles away.  I appreciate them more each day and it feels great to let them know it. Especially since I caused plenty of angst in their lives when I was young. Good advice Rob. 

[Greenhorn2]

This is the main reason I quit the corporate job. Working 10 hours/7 days a week leaves no time for what's really important in life. I lost my mom and never really spent any quality time with her. I'm not going to make the same mistake with my pops. Money isn't everything. 

[Bill Hayes]

I left my full time job almost 3 years ago to look after my father who is 85 and has dementia and anxiety. Wanted to keep him out of an old folks home during the COVID crisis. I receive a carers payment which is one of the benefits of living in Australia, even though the cost of living is high. I'm lucky in that my sisters live close by and give me a break now and then and handle the finances while I do the day to day. It can get very demanding because you love the person, so it's important to get all the help you need and take breaks. My sisters were very good at making sure he got all the government assistance. Cleaner, daily nurse visit for meds and check blood sugar levels, gardener. At one point we had a person to shower him but with the shortage of carers the timing of the visits was not consistent so we got rid of that and also a carer to take him for walks so as we could save money on things like respite, adult diapers and a carer on occasion during the weekend for a day so I can go out. We also got a watch that alerts the home base if he has a fall and also is a GPS locator in case he takes off for a walk and forgets where he is - which he has done before. I keep the door locked so he can't bolt and try not to watch anything on TV that might confuse him. Hence, no news or movies. Mostly on the sports channel. I now have the confidence that I can leave him for an hour or two to shop and go to the gym etc. We also found money in the budget to get frozen meals delivered each week for dinner. Food is very important for the elderly so we found a very good supplier that offer a host of traditional dinners that are soft enough but very good quality. I found all he wanted to eat was chicken snitzel and chips but now he has roast lamb, beef, chicken and turkey and meatloaf plus rissoles and corned beef - all with vegies. I supplement these with a soup to start which he loves. And lunch he'll only eat my famous ham, cheese and tomato toasted sandwiches with tomato chutney and Best Foods mayo. He gets very agitated from 4pm to 8pm. They call it sundowner syndrome. It's the time they usually came home from work and that triggers something. Just something to look out for as your folks get older. All the best with it all @El Presidente Hopefully your folks still have their wits about them and if you need anything clarified don't hesitate to message. Cheers.

[Marco_011t556]

Jesus, it's not easy to take up responsibility taking care of elderly, salute Rob! All the best with our family, and especially elderly..

Makes me think of my Dad, he was sent to hospital twice of high blood pressure..non stop puke, dizzy..

Lucky I was at home (almost going to work) and called an ambulance and was able to follow him to hospital. On the way to hospital, I was thinking, "what if he had a stroke?" Luckily, now he takes pills in a good manner LOL.

 

[Koaxke]

Glad that you and your family were able to step in and help take care of your parents when they need it most. Working in healthcare, I see many patients who aren't as lucky and it's sad to see. Hope you get many more years together.

[gormag38]

Wishing you and your family all the best Rob. Seeing our folks 'get old' and not move as well as they used to or not remembering things like they used to is tough. It makes you think about what is truly important and to not take for granted the time that we have with our loved ones. My mother just a had a knee replacement surgery this week, seeing her with a walker painful for the 'son in me'. We never want our parents to grow old/leave us. 

Hope you guys enjoy many more years together sir! 

[SCgarman]

Not easy getting old, but certainly better than the alternative. My father died at 52 of heart attack. His father died 51 of stroke. I just turned 57 on October 21. Feels good to break the family curse, so far. Lighting up a cigar for myself isn't just for enjoyment, it's a celebration of cheating death for another year/day/minute! Just look at some FOH members here who have left us way too soon and in the prime of their lives. Your next day isn't guaranteed by any means. Cheers all!

[dominattorney]

Sorry to hear about your parents @El Presidente. I hope your presence gives them comfort as they recuperate. 

I had a taste of getting old this year myself. Hurt my knee and right shoulder in the gym 4 months back, and yesterday hurt my back pretty badly by.....standing up. 

[Greenhorn2]

15 hours ago, Bill Hayes said:

I left my full time job almost 3 years ago to look after my father who is 85 and has dementia and anxiety. Wanted to keep him out of an old folks home during the COVID crisis. I receive a carers payment which is one of the benefits of living in Australia, even though the cost of living is high. I'm lucky in that my sisters live close by and give me a break now and then and handle the finances while I do the day to day. It can get very demanding because you love the person, so it's important to get all the help you need and take breaks. My sisters were very good at making sure he got all the government assistance. Cleaner, daily nurse visit for meds and check blood sugar levels, gardener. At one point we had a person to shower him but with the shortage of carers the timing of the visits was not consistent so we got rid of that and also a carer to take him for walks so as we could save money on things like respite, adult diapers and a carer on occasion during the weekend for a day so I can go out. We also got a watch that alerts the home base if he has a fall and also is a GPS locator in case he takes off for a walk and forgets where he is - which he has done before. I keep the door locked so he can't bolt and try not to watch anything on TV that might confuse him. Hence, no news or movies. Mostly on the sports channel. I now have the confidence that I can leave him for an hour or two to shop and go to the gym etc. We also found money in the budget to get frozen meals delivered each week for dinner. Food is very important for the elderly so we found a very good supplier that offer a host of traditional dinners that are soft enough but very good quality. I found all he wanted to eat was chicken snitzel and chips but now he has roast lamb, beef, chicken and turkey and meatloaf plus rissoles and corned beef - all with vegies. I supplement these with a soup to start which he loves. And lunch he'll only eat my famous ham, cheese and tomato toasted sandwiches with tomato chutney and Best Foods mayo. He gets very agitated from 4pm to 8pm. They call it sundowner syndrome. It's the time they usually came home from work and that triggers something. Just something to look out for as your folks get older. All the best with it all @El Presidente Hopefully your folks still have their wits about them and if you need anything clarified don't hesitate to message. Cheers.

You're a good man!