the annual Darwin awards

[Ken Gargett]

friend sent this through.

 

 

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:
When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

The honorable mentions:

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger The chef's claim was approved.

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer $15.
[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So, he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The frustrated gunman walked away.

[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family.. unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

Remember... They walk among us and they can reproduce!

 

[MasterYotti]

This is a great post, wish you had your own news channel where these events were the only ones reported

[MrBirdman]

  On 3/19/2023 at 1:38 AM, Ken Gargett said:

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!

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This story has been around for a while, which means the Darwin awards keeps running it or it keeps happening. My money is on the latter. 

[Ken Gargett]

  On 3/19/2023 at 5:33 PM, MrBirdman said:

This story has been around for a while, which means the Darwin awards keeps running it or it keeps happening. My money is on the latter. 

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by chance, someone we all know (no names) told the funniest story about sucking petrol (and why he was doing it). i still get the giggles years later. so i expect it does happen. i also suspect that these do get collected and passed around regularly. 

my fave was the idiot robber who identified his victim. priceless. 

[Fuzz]

  On 3/19/2023 at 1:38 AM, Ken Gargett said:

Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So, he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
 

 

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Something similar.

 

 

[juri]

sorry to say but the story is fake

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2005-sep-18-me-only18-story.html

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/2005-darwin-awards/

 

  Quote

Entry #1, about a robber who peered down the barrel of a misfiring gun, appears almost precisely word-for-word in a Bill Bryson compilation of items supposed culled from the newspapers (but alas, said items undated and unsourced, which makes locating the original news stories behind each item problematic). While the Bryson entry at least provides a sense of how old this tale is, in that the book it appeared in was published in 1982, before that print sighting is taken as proof of the tale's veracity, it needs to be pointed out that said compilation contains the following urban legends likewise presented as "This is true" tales:

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but if something like that happen id feel sorry for the attendant, one min you are working some guy walks in pulls a gun on you and it doesn't work then you witness someone blowing out their brains.... thats the type of stuff that can haunt you for years