Vegas!

[skalls]

This is going to be a super long weekend in review effectively of my trip to Vegas this past week.  I need to start with a little backstory, because it is the reason why I spent the last 4 days in Vegas at the Aria.  

2016 was a year that I don't look at fondly.  My dad died and  my entire team at work left (new boss, new peers) which left me to shoulder most of the work.  The former was awful as some of you may know or suspect and the latter didn't help one bit.  However two of new peers are going to be rockstars in the future but being an analyst takes time and understanding the metrics we have access too takes a long time to learn.  So throughout most of the year my workload was nothing short of ridiculous and my peers were struggling with finding work to do.  Deadlines were always tight which made it very difficult to accomplish them and also teach them how to do the work.  That was a balancing act that I honestly failed more than I got right but somehow the work year ended on a generally good feeling.

So in January, actually the day I was supposed to be flying to Arizona but my flight effectively got cancelled because of a ground stop in Minneapolis (where my connecting flight was) meant I showed up to work in the afternoon.  I was not in a great mood but I was told that I had won our Pinnacle Award for 2016.  In my division at the bank there's about 11,500 people.  140 got selected to go to the Pinnacle Awards this year.  My mood went from pissy to ecstatic during that 20 minute meeting with my bosses.

April 6th rolled around and off I was to Vegas.  Got to the Fargo airport at the bright and early time of 4:30, almost parked in the hourly parking lot (it was early and I couldn't be bothered to comprehend what signs said at the parking lot).  Checked a bag and then got to wait in the TSA line, for 3 minutes.  New record for Fargo.  I could go off on a diatribe about how much I hate the TSA but I doubt I'd be saying anything that anyone didn't already know or felt.

Had a good chat with my boss at our gate in Minneapolis.  Then it was time to board the jet.  My Flixster app on my tablet continues to frustrate me by not playing any of the damn movies I downloaded (which I did precisely so I could watch them on the move).  Thankfully Delta has a pretty good selection of movies to stream on the plane so I wound up watching the latest harry potter movie (magical beasts and something or other) and the last half of the last bourne movie.

Vegas feels like another country or this made up imaginary world where normality doesn't exist.  Case in point, this is literally the first thing I see when I get off the plane.  

We had a chance to bring a plus 1, I offered the trip to my brother, who loves to gamble, but he turned it down so I came by myself.  When he saw this picture on Facebook he sent me a text: "Yeah I know, I'm an idiot for not coming with you."  This was certainly not the last thing that I saw that defied sense or my view of normal lol.

Got the the Aria and after a 30m wait in the check line I got to my room.  My room wasn't even one of the expensive ones but damn it was nice.  I can think of only one hotel that was nicer that I've ever stayed in.  Not that I was complaining mind you, the bank covered this expense.  The bed and pillows were great too.  One of my normal bitches about staying in hotels is that the pillows are awful.  These weren't the memory foam pillows that i like but they supported my big fat head very well.

The bathroom had a phone in it next to the can.  I wanted to call my brother and let him know that I was talking to him while taking a crap (gross I know, but it would've been funny) but my cheap side got the better of me and i didn't go through with it.

So off to the gambling floor I went.  Odd but I didn't take many pictures.  Lost $20 here, won $10 there, lost $50 there, Lost $25 more.  Won $80 at another machine, then promptly lost $50.  Then won another $70 and I said, done.  I don't understand gambling.  I just don't get the thrill with putting my money on the line like that.  Walked around the strip a bit.  Stopped in at some of the shops at the ARia.  Holy crap stuff was expensive.  I saw a pair of shoes that were $750.  I don't understand how a pair of shoes can cost that much money.  A gun, new grill, golf clubs, things I like sure, but shoes?  Might be a sign of how sheltered I am from excess back in Fargo lol.

So I get back to the room, clean up.  Grab my name tag and head to the convention center where the meat and greet was the first night.  When I get down to the convention center they have a couple show girls there, who I might add were gorgeous.  The ugly guy in the center is yours truly.  Now I remember back in fourth grade the Laker Girls came to Fargo at our semi-pro team at the time.  I got my picture taken with them and I wasn't smiling.  My friends railed on me for years for that picture.  Big ass smile there though lol.

Basically we got a buffet meal, met the other winners and then got to learn how to play some of the table games vegas has to offer.  Craps was my choice of the night and holy crap that was fun.  Also there was an open bar, the first of many, and the reason why my liver and kidneys curse me even still today.  Drink of choice, double Makers Mark neat.  Oh so good.  Food was awfully tasty as was the Ceasar salad in a mason jar.

And the gals came back to visit with us again.

People started to file away but some of us didn't really want to stop drinking and bs'ing with one another.  So our division boss took the rest of us to one of the bars on the casino floor, bought us drinks and shot the shit with us.  Damn fun time.  After that some us walked down the strip again.  We knew there was a CVS not far from the hotel that sold cold beer that was about 1/12 the cost as the ones we could get at the hotel.  Case of beer acquired we headed back to the hotel and chilled out at one of the pool cabanas and finished the case of beer.

I then went back to my room, grabbed a BRC and went back to the one lounge on the gaming floor that let you smoke in it.  Day 1 was in the bag, I was having a fantastic cigar and I wasn't down too much money but who cares.  It's only money and I'm having a hell of a fun time.

How I woke up without a hangover on Friday morning I do not know.  All said and done, despite it being a hell of a long day, it was quite a lot of fun.  Friday morning we had a buffet breakfast prior to our award ceremonies and a couple of presentations.  Lunch was served and then we were off on our own before the gala dinner.  This meant another trip to the CVS store to acquire some cheap beer and more gambling.

So on my way out of the casino I saw a penny slot machine (which ironically didn't let you bet a penny, but did take random bets between 30 and 300 cents, penny slot my ass). Tossed in the ticket, was down $20, then up $10, then back to even.  Then I got a special game dealio, on a max bet.  Wound up with 25 free spins and that picture below is about where I was halfway through the spins.  Ended up $175.  Once it was done I spun once more on a $3 bet, didn't win anything and said "Done."  Cashed out and walked around Vegas with more money in my wallet than I started the trip with.  I beat you Vegas!!!!

 

I do not like dressing up, tying ties, or wearing those god awful dress shoes, but I do clean up somewhat nicely.  So it was off to the gala.  30 minutes early.  Didn't realize that until I was near the wedding chapel there.

As I walked by a guy with a french accent asked me if I'd be his best man.  Seeing as how I had time on my hands I figured what the hell and said "Sure thing."  He was actually surprised that I said yes.  So I walked down the isle with the bride to be's sister and held on to their rings.  They got married by a guy that looked like an Elvis impersonator.  Wish I had pictures or video of that because this was seriously a crazy wedding.  And it beat the luther wedding time records that I've seen.  Done in 7 minutes.

So I was off to find the convention room where the Gala Dinner and show was.  Basically I just followed the other well dressed people and found it.  Was kind of funny how no one really knew where it was we were supposed to go.  Mostly because their number convention on the rooms wasn't sequential.  I thought only in Vegas can you go from Bluethorn 3 to Bluethorn 7.  Ah well, got to the destination.  Doors weren't opened so the open bar was also closed.  Mingled and chatted with a few people.  And more showgirls!  I'm smiling again.

We also had a red carpet where we walked, had our pictures taken and all that. I tossed up the horns (NDSU fan) while my boss was his goofy self.  The other guy is on a team that works closely with my team.  Nick is also a constant source of entertainment to the rest of us.  He may or may not have been kissed on the head by the elvis impersantor during one of his songs.

We had live entertainment, a magician, and a pretty damn good meal.

Then there was an after party/dance.  The open bar continued.  Tonight I was drinking Heineken.  I figured 2 days in a row of heavy whisky intake was going to make Saturday and Sunday miserable.  So instead I just drank a ton of beer.  Smrat, I was not.  But again the best part about an open bar is that it's an open bar.

Yeah I sent this to a coworker of Nick and I's.  She's going to torment him when we are back to work.  To be fair, he's got dirt on me too so the troll war continues.

Dance ended and a bunch of us didn't want to stop drinking so off to the trusty CVS again.  They stop selling beer at 2 a.m.   We got there with 15 minutes to spare/  There was 6 of us so 3 cases of beer should do.  Back to the pool cabanas and time to drink more and BS.  Someone lost a shoe along the way back to the hotel.  I don't know how that happened.  Someone also ended up in the pool with their suit on.  Around 4 a.m. the beer was gone and it was time to either go to sleep or go to the dance club.  Sleep is for wussies so off to the dance club.  Despite the fact that I don't dance and at that point I was done drinking I wound up going.  $20 and an hour later I wanted to get out of these uncomfortable shoes and go to bed.

And then I wake up 7a.m. because why not?  Clean up and head to breakfast.  The group that went to the night club showed up 10 minutes after me and looked ragged.  I somehow didn't have a hangover or even felt tired.  Which is odd because I could behave like that in my early 20s and come out no worse for the wear.  Nowadays that is a guaranteed 2 or 3 day hangover/recovery.  Everyone was pretty quiet at breakfast but everyone there had a pretty damn good time.

For Saturday the bank had arranged some activities or you could forgo those and get a $75 room credit.  I opted for that because I wanted to eat at Jean George's and knew that would help reduce the cost of a very experienced meal.  I did however want to go over to top golf.  So after dinner I ran back to my room and hoofed it over there.  Now it's about a mile walk as the crow flies to top golf from the Aria.  However it turned into about a 3.5 mile walk because I took the "fast" route according to google maps.  Which took 40 minutes.  The walk home, on the "slow" route, took 15 minutes.  Ah well.  On my way there, and it's about 8:30 a.m. now, i see this big black guy with a purple ddd padded bra on and a kardishian bubble but yoga pants on.  First I don't know why I didn't stop and take a selfie with the guy, because all he was doing was telling people to smile.  And how couldn't you have a great big laugh after having him tell you that lol.

I get to top golf a bit before they open.  For those of you that don't know what Top Golf is a golf range with targets.  The balls have RFID chips inside of them and then you score points based on where the ball goes in to a target.  I had a pretty good game considering I wasn't wearing my golf spikes, using a glove, or my own clubs.

Hit balls for about an hour then I walked the strip again.  My legs were killing me at this point.  A ton of walking plus the dance last night (like I said, Nick has evidence...).  I walked through that area in the picture below and they had not 1, but 2 little areas for strip club tours.  Strip Club Tours is a thing apparantly.  I've heard of pub crawls but never going to multiple strip clubs in a single night.

I swung by Herringbone once I got back to the Hotel to have lunch.  Fish Tacos.  They were legitly good, but the portion for the money was honestly pretty terrible ($10 a taco...).  

Went back to my room to grab another cigar (D4) and swing by the same lounge on the casino floor.  THen tried my hand at Craps.  I was up I think around $140 at this point, less if you figure in the CVS beer runs, so I figured I could give it a try, if i lose $50 no big deal.  I was up $170 at one point, but then I got overly aggressive and then damn shooter rolled a 7.  F'ing hell.  Ended up $20 when I walked away from the table.  Had a good time and will DEFINITELY learn how to play better and give it another try the next time I go to Vegas.  

Back to the room to clean up, get off my feet, and watch the Masters.  Didn't have anything going on for about 3 hours before my dinner reservations at Jean Georges.  I tried to take a nap but I just wasn't tired.  Which was odd because at my age, 37, going on 2 days with about 6 hours of sleep total isn't a wise thing to do.  But I'm wide awake.

Then came dinner, at a restaurant far above my paygrade and far above my class in life.  Then again that's never stopped me from reaching to experience something new. I got dressed up, sans tie, and walked to the restaurant.  4 people stopped me thinking I worked for the Aria on my way there.  I get to the front of the restaurant and there's this old lady ordering about 20 appetizers for her large group.  The manager of the restaurant sees me waiting in line and confirms my reservation and ushers me to my table.  Great customer service off the bat.  My waitress was at my desk immediately with a menu, the special items that weren't on the menu and got my drink order, Lagavulin 16.

   

I really really wanted to try the A5 Kobe New York Strip.  However, $330 is a bit much for me to justify on a steak.  I could get 4-5 full prime grade beef tenderloins at Sam's Club or Costco for that price.  I was really tempted by the Maine Crab plus a steak, but opted for the tasting menu instead.  I've never been served a 6 course, or more than 1 course really, meal before.  And it was highly recommended.

The service was outstanding.  There were 4 waiters covering the area where I was sitting.  2 of them were focused on my table and the people next to me.  When the water ran low they were over with a refill.  When my drink was low they asked if I wanted another.  Now I know how much a bottle of Lagavulin costs me.  I also know at $17 a pour I'm getting bent over price wise.  But I didn't really care.

First course shows up about 10 minutes after I order it.  Caviar over a creme fresh baget and an herb pesto sauce.  This was the weakest of the dishes.  I've never tried caviar before so I can't sit here and say that I was a big fan of it, but it wasn't bad.  The pesto sauce just didn't help this dish much.  It was certainly good overall, but not something I'd rush out and try again.

The second course was a stunner, Tuna Tartare.  This was seriously last meal on the planet good.  I seriously cannot sing this dish enough praises.  The tuna, red onions, avocado and fried rice paper combine flavors and textures with amazing perfection.  This is without a doubt the best thing I've ever eaten in my life.

The third course wasn't something I was looking forward too.  I am not a salad guy.  I like meat and potatoes or meat and rice.  I don't like salads.  This salad though, was served with a lemon vinegrate that frankly without it would've been boring and been well worse than dish 1.  But the sauce was exceptional and added a level of flavor to what would've been otherwise a rather boring and plain salad.

Dish 4 was a Diver scallop with a fennel sauce.  This was the first dish where after finishing it I thought the serving size was woefully deficient.  That tuna tartare I could've eaten a buck worth of but the size didn't underwhelm me at all.  This was so damn good.  It was seared to perfection, the bread crumbs added a textural finish to the scallop and the fennel sauce was fantastic.  I just wanted more

Dish 5 was what I was looking for.  Wagyu tenderloin.  Frankly the crushed peas did nothing for me or the plate.  The orange sauce was tumeric based and almost like a curry.  A little bit of that went a long ways and paired up fantasticly well with the tenderloin but didn't overshadow the beefiness you get from the tenderloin.  Fantastic dish.

I never order deserts at restaurants.  Normally the serving sizes are way too big and I don't have any room left but despite having a sweet tooth I just never order the.  The desert here was fantastic.  The strawberry sorbet and vanilla gellato were excellent and the balsemic vinnegar sauce was excellent.

Then the bill came.  Yeah I knew this was going to be expensive.  Now to answer anyone that was thinking, is it worth the money?  Frankly no it's not.  Having said that, the experience was amazing, service excellent and overall it was 2 hours of a lot of fun.

The highlight, though in a bad way, was when a guy at the table next to me ordered the A5 Kobe New York Strip medium well.  Why spend that much money and kill a cow a second time.  I just don't get it.

Well I get back to my room to change and then pack.  Grab the last cigar I brought, a 2014 Lusitania, and went down the lounge.  Enjoyed the cigar while watching a hockey game and talking to a couple Canadians who happened to be having cigars and watching the game too.  I called them out on being Canadians and watching Hockey in Vegas of all places.  We all had a laugh at that.  Watched the Chinese Grand Prix then cleaned up and hit the bed.

For all of 2 hours.  Now this is where piss poor planning comes into effect and where I needed to pay attention more.  When the bank was booking our flights I asked for early morning flight out (got that) and an early afternoon flight back (didn't get that).  I got an email saying I was flying Delta on the way out and United home.  Looks good, confirmation email sent.  Two days later I looked at the United flight a bit more clearly and noticed it was 6:04 a.m.  Sonofa....

So I'm checked out of the hotel at 3:30 take a cab with one of my leaders at the bank to the airport because our shuttle broke down, and then wait in the longest damn TSA line known to mankind.  It took 75 minutes to get through it.  Then 25 minutes of walking and waiting for a terminal tram to get me to my gate. I got to my gate just as they were announcing zone 4 could board.  I was zone 5.  Well I suppose I didn't wait at the gate that long.  

Wound up back in Fargo around 1pm.  Was nice to be home.  Had a blast for the past 4 days.  Definitely needed some rest and time to unwind.  I took Monday off of work because I needed that rest.  All told, great trip, want to go back and kind of dreading work tomorrow lol.

[luv2fly]

Fantastic pics and write up!  Enjoy Skalls!  Wish I was there!

[CigarAsh]

[Isaac]

Heck of a trip, and a great write up.  thank you for sharing.  

[madandana]

Looks like fun. Thanks for sharing.

[Hedgehog]

Thanks for sharing, especially that meal!  

[archosaur]

Well done skalls!  

[TheGipper]

Always love a Vegas trip report!

Your next trip to Vegas, be sure to hit the Rhumbar at The Mirage.  It's a great place to sit outside and soak up the atmosphere of the Strip, and have a great Mojito with a cigar!

[BellevilleMXZ]

Great writeup and pics!!

[UnkleBead]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this trip review.  Great stuff! 

[SignalJoe]

My favorite town (only been once this year since El Pres is cutting in to my disposable income), but you made me feel as though I was there.  Hopefully you had some fun of the variety you can't write about on a forum

[zappaFREAK]

I must say that is the most comprehensive write up of a weekend that I have ever seen! Bravo! Reading it felt like I was there with you. Thanks for sharing your photos and trip.


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