Two Cows

[garbandz]

Two Cows

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbor

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then

throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy

grows.

You sell them and retire on the income

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by

your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption

for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to

produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why

the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION

You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,

dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.

You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three

cows

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce

twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and

market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows,

but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate

[polarbear]

Dunno bout the rest, but the Australian one is spot on

[Optic101]

That's a quote to keep ........ For the right moment.

[Philski]

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad

Genuine lol

[JoeyGunz]

superb

[alloy]

The American Corporation is true.

[thebigk]

That's good there

[Perla]

A German Corporation

You own 2 cows. Due advanced gene technology the breed is blond, able to drink a lot of beer, supplies milk of highest quality and is able to run on a approx speed of 160 km/h. Unfortunately the cows are claiming 13 week of vacation a year.

[Smallclub]

Are we going to see this thing posted every 8 months?

http://www.friendsofhabanos.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=114610&hl=%22you+have+two+cows%22

[DrunkenMonkey]

Are we going to see this thing posted every 8 months?

http://www.friendsofhabanos.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=114610&hl=%22you+have+two+cows%22

Garbandz, I hope you're properly ashamed of yourself. The nerve of you to have missed a post from 6 months ago. Go straight to confession.

[ramon_cojones]

love the american corporation one, so true the idiots

[garbandz]

Are we going to see this thing posted every 8 months?

http://www.friendsof... have two cows"

Yes,why do you ask............

It is not enough to be wrong, one must also be polite.