Freefallguy Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Remember what you said PDA, “What happens in La Habana, goes on the forum. Right... Wednesday November 21st it was, Miramar, La Habana. After a morning tour of El Laguito and watching gobs of Behike 56’s and Sig V’s rolling off the thighs, labeled and into beautifully lacquered boxes my Aussie mates decided a night out, of the highest calibre, was apropos. Well ok. I’m off to change and emerge in a breezy aqua blue shirt, gray slacks and the only boots I had. Oh no, not good enough. PDA insists, no, demands, “You are not going to any club with me in fishing boots.” Off goes the youngest Aussie for a nicer pair of boots. Seeing them I immediately think, “please don’t let them fit, please don’t let them fit.” Size 10, right, perfect fit. Toby at the gate to meet us and off go PDA, Nate and I. First club was... I have no remembrance; they had mojitos, does that help? Second club, garden setting, mojitos and grilled meat on a platter. We eat with our fingers. Toby advises Fidel’s son was in the house, he’d introduce, but undoubtedly thought better as they had, mojitos. Mucho mojitos. Third club, jackpot. Remember George Costanza stumbling into the “forbidden city” of gorgeous women? I’d found the same portal; seriously. I learned later the club was above “The House of Models.” I was met at the door by Eva Longoria’s youngest daughter(it HAD to be, I’m certain it was) and immediately she has me by the hand, whisking me off to the bar. They had mojitos. Uncle Toby was buying, I think. It didn’t matter, Little Eva was offering twin scoops of cafe gelato, al fresco. Gorgeous. She must have been a swimmer as she kept massaging my pecs and asking to join her at the pool. Declining her, she asked for money for cigarettes. I thought she was an athlete? I had $21CUC. She got the 20, I'm’ still awaiting change. Off she goes and over comes PDA to encourage me, telling me what I should have done with the two scoops. Really, you can do that AT the bar?? Huh. On deck sweetie steps up; she’s closer to Carol Kane’s daughter, maybe her sister. Gads. I’m really not interested but she also wants money for cigarettes. Here’s a CUC, doll. I pull my pockets inside out, indicating all I have left is a Sig VI in my shirt pocket. And then I notice Nate running for the door, I’m on his six immediately. PDA and Toby have disappeared! We bound down the steps propelled forward by gravity and knowing PDA has left the building. We catch them just as they’re approaching the car. “You would have found your way back to the house, sooner or later.” Right mate, and I’ll use the change from the cigarettes for cab fare. Back at the house, now 3:30am. From Day One I’d wondered why the marble tiled wall was only scant inches from the front of the seat in the loo. Seated, more suspended in animation, I was delighted to learn that morning the cold marble was perfectly postioned, applying firm, but cool pressure against my throbbing frontal lobe. All told, what hurt most? Little Ms. Kane, had purloined my Sig VI. Keep the CUC honey, all I want is my damn Cohiba! Gads. And there friends, is the true accounting of the blue suede boots. Notice MY boots on the bench; in the right light, more then ample in providing a bit of reflective flash AND perfect for chasing down a fleeing pimpmobile! Now, would you trust this man in a meat market, anywhere?
El Presidente Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Seriously mate...who goes out with 21 CUC in their pocket it was one of those sensational nights in Havana that just "evolves". It was a hit right until you peed on the "Blue Suede Shoes" you borrowed from Nate! ....yes...I told him
El Presidente Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 ..and before I get into serious trouble locally Please point out how I was the epiphany of celibacy at the hottest nightclub in Havana! All I did was provide you the finest company! ....a good mans work is never done
canadianbeaver Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 ..and before I get into serious trouble locally Please point out how I was the epiphany of celibacy at the hottest nightclub in Havana! All I did was provide you the finest company! ....a good mans work is never done Hey you weren't the one in the hot boots. No rocket science there.
El Presidente Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Hey you weren't the one in the hot boots. No rocket science there. Seriously ....you take 21 CUC to a nightclub of "Models" and even if you dress like a Liberace wannabe........it doesn't get you too far
Ken Gargett Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 the house of models... sigh. now there is a home away from home. i need to get back. anyone ever tells you quality and quantity are mutually exclusive needs to get there real quick. except half of them are madder than cut snakes.
polarbear Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I guess if i ever make it on a trip to Cuba with you guys i'd have to leave my Converse All Stars at home, right? I the only other shoes I own are work boots...
CanuckSARTech Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 the house of models... sigh. now there is a home away from home. i need to get back. anyone ever tells you quality and quantity are mutually exclusive needs to get there real quick. except half of them are madder than cut snakes. LOL.
Warren Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 That's funny, we were talking about that tri[p on the deck last night. Nate was there as well and I was wondering why I never see him in the blue suede shoes anymore.
CanuckSARTech Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Funny thing is.... Schildt just finally sobered up from the trip, so that's why it took so long for this story to come out.
Freefallguy Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 ..and before I get into serious trouble locally Please point out how I was the epiphany of celibacy at the hottest nightclub in Havana! All I did was provide you the finest company! Mate- I would never be so indelicate as to divulge any indiscretions, perceived or otherwise; I travel well, remember. except half of them are madder than cut snakes. Funny you say that Ken... I told a Puerto Rican couple about the trip and the wife said, “Those Cuban girls are crazy!” Schildt just finally sobered up from the trip, so that's why it took so long for this story to come out... Shhhh...
Ken Gargett Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 except half of them are madder than cut snakes. Funny you say that Ken... I told a Puerto Rican couple about the trip and the wife said, “Those Cuban girls are crazy!” but fun crazy (except for some of them).
El Presidente Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 but fun crazy (except for some of them). They would be the ones still waiting for the refrigerator
Ken Gargett Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 They would be the ones still waiting for the refrigerator dear pot, first, there was never any offer of such made, nor expected. lovely girl and one of the sanest. actually, she was amazingly sane given the standards. next, i have photos. you really want them posted next time you are stepping on to a long flight? finally, i have never been banned from any country (well, not cuba at least) thanks to some woman crazier than a box of frogs with party hats. yours, kettle
CanuckSARTech Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 LOL. Gawd, I love seeing some of this inside-info stuff slowly seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep out for all. Makes for fun viewing. Is there a Pay-Per-View event coming? And Rob, thank gawd the lovely-miss-with-the-gorgeous-fashion-sense knows that we all watch out for what's best for you!!!! Besides, you're our walking Cuban bail fund!!!!
El Presidente Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 dear pot, first, there was never any offer of such made, nor expected. You were going to open up a MAYTAG franchise in Cuba at the time based on the number of fridges you promised.. lovely girl and one of the sanest. actually, she was amazingly sane given the standards. She only spoke Spanish..and she was going out with you...! How in hell would you know next, i have photos. you really want them posted next time you are stepping on to a long flight? My life is an open book. finally, i have never been banned from any country (well, not cuba at least) thanks to some woman crazier than a box of frogs with party hats. It was a simple misunderstanding.... yours, kettle
Ken Gargett Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 dear brother grimm, so this was the "important" work you had to do while D had to deal with unhappy clients? is there anything there that is even remotely true? i have never promised white goods in any form to anyone, ever. she spoke some english, and as you know, i have all the spanish i need for cuba. and how would i know? well, she didn't get me banned from going to cuba, did she? that would be a start. i look forward to providing the illustrations for your 'open book'.
El Presidente Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 You are delusional I had a lawyer come in whom I avoided. Hard to believe I know...but a complete tosser. Smithy more than capable in dispatching sans money! Please fill us in on the one line of Spanish you know.......I am sure it is a revelation to all! As for said incriminating photo's! .....please forward copies so I can include in my book..."A life on the edge...mates and White Goods magnates I have known". Shall we discuss your own version of "World Adventure Travel" for certain lasses ? ...you know this is a Mexican Stand off....we have plenty on each other
Ken Gargett Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 You are delusional I had a lawyer come in whom I avoided. Hard to believe I know...but a complete tosser. Smithy more than capable in dispatching sans money! Please fill us in on the one line of Spanish you know.......I am sure it is a revelation to all! As for said incriminating photo's! .....please forward copies so I can include in my book..."A life on the edge...mates and White Goods magnates I have known". Shall we discuss your own version of "World Adventure Travel" for certain lasses ? ...you know this is a Mexican Stand off....we have plenty on each other tu mas hermosa chicka toda el mundo (or something like that). as i said, all the spanish one needs in cuba! i gave up the rest of it after i apparently asked my hosts one evening why we were eating dog (sadly true).
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