Kulula Airlines South-Africa

[Trevor2118]

Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously. Check out their new livery! And have a read about their Customer Relations.

Don't miss scrolling all the way down to read the flight attendants' to the passengers. Very good!

WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR - SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.

Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced,

"People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said,

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."

"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will b e distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."

And from the pilot during his welcome message:

"Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

And probably the best....from a passenger.

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline".

He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.

Finally everyone had gotten off except for an elderly lady.

She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"

The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

[CanuckSARTech]

LOL. Classic.

[Puros Y Vino]

Now that's "Flying The Friendly Skies". WestJet here in Canada can get a bit "cheeky" but not close to the examples above. Nonetheless, they can be fun.

[canadianbeaver]

Hilarious!

[Orion21]

Very fun

[Hopperb]

That's pretty cool! I've heard a few flight attendant comments like those on Southwest here in the States and occasionally AA will let their flight attendants take a few libertys around the Holidays.

[Habanos2000]

I used to fly Southwest and remember an announcement that kinda went like "we'd like to let everyone know about Mr. Smith, 95 years old and today was his first flight. So on your way out please say hello and congratulate our captain".

[Rushman]

Southwest Airlines has always been humorous and irreverent and made "cattle car gallactica" style flying fun. I once remember a short hop from Austin to Houston. We were very delayed on the ground so the captain had to make up time in the air. As a result the time aloft was cut short and we had no drink service, so the flight attendants started throwing bags of peanuts down the aisle as we were still in a pretty nice climb. About the time the whole plane realized what was happening, one of the attendants announce "ok, here come the drinks" and of course the whole plane erupted in laughter.

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I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=20.631733,-87.070595

[mk05]

I also heard the asphalt joke on southwest back when i was in highschool. Can't have fun on planes anymore though.

[NJP]

Still laughing.....Hard.

[sighuber]

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

This one left me in stitches.

[Lotusguy]

As said above, that stuff is pretty standard for Southwest Airlines. There have been safety announcements in rhyme form, as Rap, et cetera.

I still hate to fly them due to their asinine first-come first-serve seating policy that can now be defeated by paying extra - Boo!

[frenchkiwi]

it's fine when it's occasional and unscripted, but when it's company policy it grates.

pacific blue/virgin started up here (then failed) and made it a policy that every single flight you would get low brow humour at every turn. after a few flights i just wished i had a shotgun.

the Corporates and Marketing dudes always ruin the fun.