Engineering Vs Management

[First Lady]

A woman in a hot air balloon realised she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me sir, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.'

The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'

'You must be an engineer,' said the lady balloonist.

'I am', replied the man. 'How did you know?'

'Well, answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more.'

The man below responded, 'You must be in management.'

'I am,' replied the lady balloonist, 'but, how did you know?'

'Well,' said the man, 'You don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air within. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you, to solve your problems, and you are prompt to blame others for your fate and stupid deeds!!!!!

[mkz]

This one is going up on the wall at the factory...

[Guest rob]

Sounds just like where I work. Nearly perfect example in fact.

[gerem]

I love this one....Don't laugh too hard but I'm gonna be an engineer in a year

[Shelby07]

I love this one....Don't laugh too hard but I'm gonna be an engineer in a year

I was a manager

[dmuchow]

haha, going back to school for engineering this fall.

[sepp]

I was a manager

I am a manager and yes I am full of it, hot air!

[storeroomjeff]

Three engineers walk into this bar...

[sepp]

Three engineers walk into this bar...

Arguing about the proffession of God?

[storeroomjeff]

Arguing about the proffession of God?

How do you know the profession? That's right, you're a manager.

[sepp]

How do you know the profession? That's right, you're a manager.

First engineer says (an electrical engineer) sasy of course God is an electrical engineer, just look at the human nervous system for proof!

[Colt45]

A woman in a hot air balloon realised she was lost.

I thought this was going to be a blonde joke.

[Shelby07]

TOP 20 ENGINEERS' TERMINOLOGIES

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still pissing in the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM - We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull!

14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely.

15. ALL NEW - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

16. RUGGED - Too damn heavy to lift!

17. LIGHTWEIGHT - Lighter than RUGGED.

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - One finally worked.

19. ENERGY SAVING - Achieved when the power switch is off.

20. LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.

[archosaur]

Love it!

I have been cursed with the grim prospect of managing engineers!