Question on Airlines for International Travellers

[El Presidente]

I know that many of you here travel internationally.

Can you list your top 3 international airlines and your bottom 3. It could be a good reference for those planning international travel.

My top 3

1. Singapore Airlines

2. Emirates

3. Etihad Airways

My bottom 3

1. Air Alaska

2. Olympic

3. AlItalia

[mkz]

Top:

1. Malaysia Airlines

2. Thai

3. Lufthansa

Bottom:

1. SAS

2. Futura

3. FlyMe

[matt14]

My top 3

1. Singapore Airlines

2. Cathay

3. Emirates

Bottom

1. Egypt Air

2. Lufthansa

3. BA/ Quaint Arse

[Ken Gargett]

for the shockers, yes, alaska has been diabolical (though you did juggle seats so you were the comfortable exit row and your mates were forming one wall of the toilet at the rear, if i recall).

iberia has been disgraceful - 9 times out of 10. one good flight but otherwise they are dismal, the telstra of the skies.

air pacific right up there.

a few too many dodgy experiences on the drowning chook (air nz) that i could do without ever flying them again (and i now assume i am on the hit list for all these airlines and if ever forced to fly them can expect lost luggage and shocker seats). ryan - you get what you pay for. my domestic experiences with deathstar and virgin have not convinced me to try them internationally.

i remember aeroflot very fondly in comparison with all these (actually, any airline that wnats to serve me buckets of caviar is definitely in the upper echelon, though it was a long time ago).

swiss, singapore, emirates, have been good. i have never had anything but excellent flights on mexicana and cubana. i find the stumbling wombat (qantas) and BA a mix. can be excellent or disappointing. depends on the people you get but recently more positive performances than negatives. will aways be grateful to BA for saving me from the utter incompetence of a travel agent (no names but you know who i mean).

[Daidemo]

Top 3:

Singapore Air

Austrian

Korean Air

Bottom 3:

China Southern

Adria Airways

Air China

It’s also depending where these companies are operating. For example Lufthansa has great service in inner Europen routes and recently stinks on long flights.

But there are also others who will never disappoint you: China Southern has notorious bad service in domestic and international flights; you can be sure that Adria Airways will cancel flights if there isn’t enough passengers; when you get spongy fish and warm beer on Air China flights n-time you start to believe that this is their national food which they have to cherish…

[Fuzz AI]

Top 3

1. Malaysian Airlines

2. Singapore Airlines

3. JAL

Bottom 3

1. BA (absolutely hate this airline and will never fly with them again!)

2. EasyJet

3. China Airlines

[mef]

Top 3

1. Singapore Airlines

2. Malaysian Airlines

3. Cathay Pacific

Bottom 3

1. American Airlines

2. Garuda

3. Air NZ / Qantas

[zuma]

» iberia has been disgraceful - 9 times out of 10. one good flight but

» otherwise they are dismal, the telstra of the skies.

Ken... did you try speaking in Spanish taught by Rob? that could explain it ;-)

Anyone ever tried TAROM (a Romanian airline)?... it used to be so beyond bad that it was hilarious and entertaining (Random smoking seats, air hostesses that looked like out of a resident evil... they may have changed now but I'd not do it again... yet the experience still makes me chuckle)...

[El Presidente]

Zuma Beat this:

Garuda 1997

Seated on tarmac awaiting takeoff for Jakarta Singapore flight.

" Wadies and Gentmen. Apogies for deway. Not be concerned for small smoke smell. Wittle pwoblm with ingin. Be frying shortwy."

I will never forget that as long as I live

[zuma]

» Zuma Beat this:

»

» Garuda 1997

»

» Seated on tarmac awaiting takeoff for Jakarta Singapore flight.

»

» " Wadies and Gentmen. Apogies for deway. Not be concerned for small smoke

» smell. Wittle pwoblm with ingin. Be frying shortwy."

»

» I will never forget that as long as I live

F*ck man!!! What'dya do?

[El Presidente]

» F*ck man!!! What'dya do?

I prayed to God and held on to the business class seat. I ordered a bottle of Champagne. I am not the best flyer at the best of times. I thought of my 1 year old son and my wife. I then sized up the hostesses in business class and worked out which one I would kiss passionately while I plummeted to the ground.

[Ken Gargett]

I then sized up the hostesses in business class

» and worked out which one I would kiss passionately while I plummeted to the

» ground.

sadly, she was doing the same thing and you were not in the top five.

internal nz flights always fun.when meeting a mate a week or so ago, we'd planned to tie up at the nelson airport. i was hopping across from wellington. he was coming down from orcland, due 30 minutes before me. there was a bit of rain about and all in chaos. i mean, it is not asthough new zealand has never experienced rain before. then i hear staff (not for the public, just happened to be siting near by) saying that there'll be an extra delay of an hour becuase the staff need to havea cup of tea. not, let us try and catch up, rather bugger the customers, we want tea. i discussed the righhts and wrongs of this (rights didn't get much of a go). anyway, we were an hour lateand i thought my poor mate had been standing around for ages. no. his was an hour later. then never turnedu up. turns out, that the pilot has tried to land three times and couldn't. despite lots of other planes landing there, it was announced that the pilot 'couldn't see where to land'. they'd tied again and if still a problem, they would go to another town, "if we have enough fuel". and the alternative?

[Ken Gargett]

now that you have me on a roll, this is a two-parter i wrote for a mag a year or two ago.

Dregs - Hot Air Part I

Remember Spy v’s Spy? Two spies trying to outdo each other, ending in a descending spiral of incompetency. It all came flooding back over the last few weeks. Allow me to explain.

There are pros and cons in earning a living as a wine writer. Pros? It is fun, a good lifestyle and, if you like travel, a fair bit of that. Cons? You’d probably have a more secure living collecting crocodile eggs and you have to deal with airlines. Regular readers know the stumbling wombat is a favourite target.

Travel aplenty, last few weeks. An early Monday flight from sunny Queensland to chilly Yarra for the excellent Yarrabank vertical, returning late Tuesday, for a few hours at home before a pre-dawn (never my best time) airport transfer to head to Darwin for the Coroner’s wedding (an old law school mate). Sunday, Darwin-Sydney, then to the Hunter for the judging of the Hunter Wine Show. A late return home Wednesday, just time to scoop the dead fish out of the tank, and then another of those beloved pre-dawn transfers. Off to the Land of the Long, Wide Scowl for a Montana tasting (actually, the lure was a pinot noir tasting and a box on halfway for the Bledisloe: like any over-excitable fish, I bit - a sauv blanc tasting and the far corner was a mere blip and my own fault for listening to the PR). Then Kiwiland to Melbourne overnight for a John Vickery/Richmond Grove riesling tasting. Then home.

If that schedule doesn’t inspire, stick to the day job. But our spies... Flights were to be shared between the Stumbling Wombat (SW) and the Drowning Chook (DC). Any resemblance to a real airline is purely coincidental. One expects hiccups and the inevitable delays, blamed on the ‘late arrival of the aircraft’. Yes, but isn’t it part of your airline? Whose fault is the late arrival? A previous late arrival?

No dramas until Darwin, a strange place. Personally, I think the heat has got them. My mate, if I may use the airport potboiler novel vernacular, was a former defence attorney before donning the robes. Hence the wedding was a mix of judges and criminals. No, I had no idea which was which either. The post-reception party was at Throb - I am not making this up. This well-loved establishment, our northern city’s premier *** and trannie nightclub, is considered by many as the highlight of Territory nightlife. I don’t think I have ever been anywhere were the carpet sticks to your shoes every step. They had kindly put together a review for our newlyweds. There is ‘bad’, ‘appalling’, ‘so horribly bad that it is good’ and ‘beyond redemption’. Not even in its wildest dreams could this review aspire to ‘beyond redemption’.

Then SW to the Hunter but here the wheels started to fall off. The race for worst airline in history was on. To be fair, there is a Spanish mob that I think have all the management skills and honesty of the Gabba Trust and - right now, there is not just touching of wood but firm gripping of it - my experiences with the flying capabilities of both have been comforting, even if customer service ranks with that of Stalin. Aeroflot? Loved it - they served endless caviar but had forgotten to lock in the seats after the plane had been used for troop movements. The sight of 400 people suddenly peering at their own posteriors as we landed was hysterical. Cuban Airlines could teach both the Wombat and Chook much, though the ‘voluntary’ disembarking for escaping dissidents was a little OTT. Even Ethiopian Airlines leaves our locals in their wake, but a little practice on those dodgy landings would help.

The wheels were definitely off...

KBG

Dregs - Hot Air Part II

The tour continues. Departing Darwin but a skidding halt at the end of the runway, daunting but better safe. A predicted 15-minute delay stretched to fourteen hours and a 4am departure. Organising tranfers on to Sydney was a debacle. Brizzy ETA was 7.15am but the 9.15 to Sydney was full and it would be well into the afternoon before I was likely to get a connecting flight. Judging waits for no man so I checked the Stumbling Wombat website - yes, I would have thought SW staff could have done that. There was an 8am flight so a call south and we were set, even if local SW staff thought it was poor form for me to avoid being inconvenienced by them. They weren’t finished as the luggage got no further than Brizzy. Eventually found and forwarded, I remain puzzled as to why it was deliberately taken off the plane halfway. Perhaps I shouldn’t be.

Then, the Drowning Chook’s turn. If something looks, walks and quacks like a duck, it is. And ‘premier economy’ quacks very much like an economy duck. Giving a seat a poncy name does not make it better. As an aside, I was fascinated by some of my fellow traveller’s fashion sense. I don’t think I have ever seen a nation where thongs over socks is considered formal.

A few internal flights followed (this time it was not my luggage that was lost). Arrangements with the Chook included access to lounges mid-flight but the former All Black prop fronting the desk was having none of it. ‘Begone’, she growled. ‘You’re not welcome’. Perhaps wearing Wallaby scarves and jumpers swayed her. On an off-chance, we stuck our head in at the Wombat’s den. Score one to the Wombat! We were welcome, even if flying Chook. PR coup and a raspberry to the Chook.

We limped back across the ditch to Melbourne after an excellent few days, despite many of NZ’s finest explaining their glories and our inadequacies at length. They do go quiet when you ask if they were old enough to remember the Kiwis winning a World Cup. In the home straight and even a pointy-end flight on the Wombat to finish. So close...

A bottle in the luggage, in plastic then protective professional casing, more wrapping and then three inches of clothing either side and all in a rocksolid Samsonite case. Short of dropping the bag from a skyscraper or hitting it with a mack truck, it is impossible to imagine that they could smash the bottle. They did.

Try discussing it. Wombat Club flicked it to Baggage who just hung up. Back to Club who kept telling me to call Baggage and couldn’t comprehend the absurdity of that. I was almost ready to exchange the sort of pleasantries that Andrew Johns usually saves for his favourite linemen. Then, off to the all-time oxymoron, Customer Care, better known as the Office of Handballs, Delays and Cliches (‘if we’ve dropped the ball’, ‘hands tied’, ‘how can we work together’). Nuremberg couldn’t have nailed this mob. I mentioned that I was told by a friend, a former Wombat employee, not to waste my time, the Wombat just doesn’t care. The Office of HCD showed appropriate degrees of denial and outrage at this, despite overwhelming evidence.

Needless to say, 24 hours later, I am no nearer a solution. Close, but the Wombat came through at the finish to pip the Chook and retain the title.

STOP PRESS - Just heard from the Wombat. They are very excited. They have found another department to refer this. I can expect to hear. I expect world peace first.

KBG

[El Presidente]

» I then sized up the hostesses in business class

» » and worked out which one I would kiss passionately while I plummeted to

» the

» » ground.

»

»

» sadly, she was doing the same thing and you were not in the top five.

»

My Indonesian Bahasa was always rusty but

Kami sedang bermaksud meninggal. Ciuman saya

" We area all going to die....so kiss me baby...."

[SmokinAl]

The most scared I’ve ever been when flying was when I was surrounded by 5 angry hostesses.

It happened just after one of them walked down the aisle, lent forward to me so I could hear her and she proffered a plastic bag and said “Headphones?”

I said “Sure…how did you know my name was Phones?”

[Ken Gargett]

now i am fired up, this was also the nelson airport. from another article.

I swear that this is true (I just love it when I can say that). Leaving Nelson airport early morning, to head up to Auckland on the drowning chook. Call to board made. Some old bloke has a quick check of the tickets (I think he’d put down his mop to help out). About 18 of us boarding. Quite a large new plane. Would have taken around 120-130 people. We walk out on the tarmac (in Kiwiland, if you walked into the airport carrying a flame thrower actually belching fire, they might ask what you intended but otherwise, security is zip - yes, I know, what is there to blow up?) And up the stairs. No one at the door. We go in. No one. We all sit down in our allocated seats.

Nothing. We wait. And wait. Finally, as it ticks over to take off time, a red faced hostess sticks her head around the door - “Sorry, we’ve been waiting for you in the wrong plane.” Seriously. A few minutes later, the pilot and co-pilot rush in. Pilot looks around and says, “well, all these planes look the same.” The hostess gives us the security speech instructing us to turn off all mobiles off so we don’t plummet into the big pond experiencing a horrible death, yet, as soon as we are up and cruising, she has hers out taking photos out the window. Somehow, we survived.

[SmokinAl]

» A few minutes later, the pilot and co-pilot rush in. Pilot looks around and says, “well, all these planes look the same.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner.

[El Presidente]

It is easy to be negative but let me give you my best airline service experience in 20 years....300+ international flights.

Cubana Air.

After two weeks in Havana I arrived at the airport for a flight to Mexico City LA. I queued up and presented my electronic ticket. The guy at the counter told me electronic tickets dont't count and i have to get a real ticket form the ticket agency at the other end of the airport.

I blew up nicely but it didn't work. Off to an 8 deep que of people seeking tickets. I struggled to the near front but the flight was leaving in 20 minutes. I gave up and started walking with luggage to the Mexicana Airline counter to book a later flight.

A Cubana Air angel appeared, grabbed my arm and said "follow me" ....she took me through immigration (without a boarding pass) ...and then through security and to the boarding gate. She explained to them why I didn't have a boarding pass....walked me down the shute..talked to the boarding gate people....kissed me on the cheek and said ""GO"!

I have always taken bottles of perfume for her but have never found her again. She would earn $12 a month. Yet her customer service was the best I have ever encountered.

[Ken Gargett]

» It is easy to be negative but let me give you my best airline service

» experience in 20 years....300+ internatinal flights.

»

» Cubana Air.

»

» After two weeks I arrived at the airport in Havana for a flight to Mexico

» City LA. I queued up and presented my electronic ticket. The guy at the

» counter told me electronic tickets dont't count and i have to get a real

» ticket form the ticket agency at the other end of the airport.

» I blew up nicely but it didn't work. Off to an 8 deep que of people

» seeking tickets. I struggled to the near front but the flight was leaving

» in 20 minutes. I gave up and started walking with luggage to the Mexicana

» Airline counter to book a later flight.

»

» A Cubana Air angel appeared, grabbed my arm and said "follow me" ....she

» took me through immigration (without a boarding pass) ...and then through

» security and to the boarding gate. She explained to them why I didn't have

» a boarding pass....walked me down the shute..talked to the boarding gate

» people....kissed me on the cheek and said ""GO"!

»

» I have always taken bottles of perfume for her but have never found her

» again. She would earn $12 a month. Yet her customer service was the best I

» have ever encountered.

supports exactly what i said about cubana (though the practice of insisting you glad wrap all luggage before checking it in, only for it to be torn apart by security has always struck me as strange). i was doing the long haul home one trip - havana, madrid (o/night), heathrow (9 hrs), tokyo (16 hours), cairns (4 hrs), brizzy. the bloke from cubana who checked me in was terribly apologetic because he could not get me a boarding pass for the domestic cairns brizzy leg so got me passes to lounges etc (on the recent trip, BA in barcelona could only give me a boarding pass from there to heathrow. could not give me any further boarding passes even tho, guess which airline i was on...).

only problem with the previous flight from havana was that several people were called to the bowels of the airport for customs. i kept asking if one was me (name sounded vaguely familiar) but assured no. until walking down the boarding ramp, told it was me. raced downstairs too show i did have papers for all the cigars (i suspect rob gives hem my name every time). will my luggage make the plane? i ask before racing back upstairs. we don't know. we will try. first off the plane in cairns and through to customs and there in the middle of the luggage area, are my bags. i remark to customs what a quick removal from the plan it was. bloke says,'mate, you really don't want to know how long they've been there". best i can work out is that the luggage missed the flight from havana but still beat me home by a day or so. yet the stumbling wombat insisted it could not do any better at the time.

[Ken Gargett]

one clue for leaving havana, when you get to the counter and there is some delightful cuban girl there, i always say, 'ah, you checked me in last year'. they always get are so pleased i remember them and sort out the seats i want etc. just a bit worried i'll hit one who has only been there two weeks.

[El Presidente]

When we are ever travelling together through LAX I always go in front of you and advise you are carrying Cuban cigars.

It just makes my day :-D

[Ken Gargett]

» When we are ever travelling together through LAX I always go in front of

» you and advise you are carrying Cuban cigars.

»

» It just makes my day :-D

yes, and who has been knocking on your door of late? i said nothing.

[yossie]

FOH needs chat function:-D

[Guest Warren]

» » When we are ever travelling together through LAX I always go in front of

» » you and advise you are carrying Cuban cigars.

» »

» » It just makes my day :-D

»

»

» yes, and who has been knocking on your door of late? i said nothing.

Ken you would have been so proud of Lisa , she really can talk a mile a minute.

[SmokinAl]

» "Harden the F*#K Up!"