URGENT! Intervention Required- Ken

[Tampa1257]

Oh my Ken has sunk to deep depths and may never see sun light again! With all those bottles of wine, he may need a liver transplant very, very soon! Rob, do they have a "Rent a Wife" down there? In just a week or two, she could whip Ken and the new house into shape! He is in desperate need to assistance I agree with you!

[Colt45]

:lol:

http://www.barbneal.com/wav/tvthemes/odcouple.wav

[smokum]

Poor bastard. I feel badly for him. Not only is he in such dire straits...but he obviously hanging around with *** men still...note the pair of brown loafers on the floor..very sad indeed. Let me know if you are setting up an account where we can donate either by PayPal or...a nice pair of Florsheims for the *** fella with the loafers.

[brooklyn]

Damn! If those pictures get out, watch out for the pleasure police. If they can stop Santa, poor Ken!

Peter:cool:

[Mike33]

LOL!!! That is some funny ****!

Ken, I love the shirt by the way!

[Ken Gargett]

et tu, brute?

i have just moved in and am still unpacking. stopped that to cater for his nibs because it was not yet midnight so he didn't want to go home.

the *** shoes are graeme marriott's.

that cigar was the one from a cab i had bought from him ten minutes earlier and which i then offered back to him, without realising the bend, to share on the balcony. how sharper than a serpent's tooth....

and he so scared my possum (for which i had put in a little mat, rather than the alleged box, to keep him warm from the cold metal of his hideaway) that it didn't come home this morning.

and as for the small interlude off the balcony, it is all bush out there. no one to see (and if some idiot peeping tom wants to hide in the bushes, good luck to him). and i had tried to prevent this kind of behaviour the previous week when i had my real mates around, but no avail, so if you can't beat them....

unfortunately, you'll never see the finished thing because fat chance of ayala getting back

[El Presidente]

......Come on Ken. I cut out the picture of the Duck Tape next to the possum.

[Loki]

» ......Come on Ken. I cut out the picture of the Duck Tape next to the

» possum.

Does the duct tape keep it from exploding?

I've heard that *** Americans wrap guinea pigs in duct tape

before shagging them.

Poor possum.

[BigSlick]

Now THAT was too phuckin funny!!!!

[Ken Gargett]

» ......Come on Ken. I cut out the picture of the Duck Tape next to the

» possum.

that is a fowl and poultry thing to say.

[shrink]

It is transparently obvious that El Prez has no sympathy for Ken. Rather, he is green with envy. Envy of a lifestyle without responsibilities, without women at every turn, each wanting a part of him. Envy of unrestricted access to liquor, and cigars. And no kids nagging for attention.

The only one I pity is the poor possum. He has to witness this debauchery.

[Ken Gargett]

»

» The only one I pity is the poor possum. He has to witness this debauchery.

the possum never had it so good.

we could always send it across to nz.

we did send a few to them many years ago as a sign of our respect for this small nation of islands and i must say, that they have been rather ungracious about it. a kind gift has been repaid with endless bile merely because a couple of them headed for the hills. actually, i've always thought that they pinchd them and got what they deserved.

[strayvector]

» the *** shoes are graeme marriott's.

You mean Graeme wears two pairs of shoes? Does he wear the other pair on his hands?

[marco polo]

Good post!

[El Presidente]

» It is transparently obvious that El Prez has no sympathy for Ken. Rather,

» he is green with envy. Envy of a lifestyle without responsibilities,

» without women at every turn, each wanting a part of him. Envy of

» unrestricted access to liquor, and cigars. And no kids nagging for

» attention.

»

You picked it in one Shrink ;-)

I really only councelled Ken to clean up the place just in case that he brings a girl home (that is not a renter).

After the dark drive into the scrub/bush/forest and then faced with that, she will no doubt be wondering if she has encountered Ivan Milat or David Berkowitz.

[Claudius]

OMG that was HILARIOUS!!!

[anacostiakat]

[bobsled]

Here is what to do with the Possum:

Possum Pot Pie

Ingredients:

1 cup glazed huckleberries

3 shots gin or moonshine

1 possum

---if roadkill: make jambalaya

---if caught: proceed with recipe

1 pie crust

sliced carrots & cabbage to taste

Directions:

Cover a pan (or any implement you can put in a fire) with the bottom of your pie crust, and place the possum in it. Add the huckleberries and carrots, and shred the cabbage over it. Close up the pie and bake until the neighbors' dogs come sniffing around to see what the wonderful smell is, or until the fire department arrives (whichever comes first). Remove pie from fire/oven, slice, and enjoy.

[anacostiakat]

I do hear Possom Pie is fine vittles.

You can serve it on one of them thar bill-i-ard tables. . .

[GoSteelers]

Ken,

It looks perfect, don't change a thing. Next time you move all you have to do is load up the boxes again and wipe down the counters.

Oh yeah and flush the bushes!

[SmokinLightning]

Classic post!

I was wondering when we would begin to see evidence of Rob's neighborhood beginning it's "downturn" due to the new resident.

[FLitiGator]

Australian possoms are pretty cute and non threatening. Looks like a little ewok or something. Down here in the southeast us our possoms are nasty looking creatures with foul breath that hiss and bite and then play dead and manage to smell like death warmed over.

That little creature was almost cute enough to have as a pet. If you had a real possom from the usa you'd make sure it took up residence as far away from the piss porch as possible!

Bachelorhood sure has its benefits. Fridge full of beer/booze, primo coffee maker/espresso machine, enough wine to trip over, and tons of habanos to smoke on a whim.

Sadly you can tell that not many women are going to be comfortable in that joint, unless they're into the sloppy serial killer type.

[jwm8592]

Nice one Prez, if only we all could be so mis-managed. Alas, I thought I viewed a tote from the Australia postmaster?? This a heavy fine in the US if ever found out. Maybe you could send that picture into the authorities and they could send out the meanest, fatest, ugliest female postal employee to retreive the tote and maybe lend Ken a helping hand if you know what I mean, during the possom's nap time of course.

[greenpimp]

As has been stated, the only cure is a wife or ***** eye crew. The disease-cure argument rears its ugly head.

I'd go with apathy. Or more accurately continue to. It works. Just spray paint the boxes and call it furniture.

[Ken Gargett]

» Nice one Prez, if only we all could be so mis-managed. Alas, I thought I

» viewed a tote from the Australia postmaster?? This a heavy fine in the US

» if ever found out. Maybe you could send that picture into the authorities

» and they could send out the meanest, fatest, ugliest female postal

» employee to retreive the tote and maybe lend Ken a helping hand if you

» know what I mean, during the possom's nap time of course.

do you mean the australia post boxes? given to me by my local post office to assist with the wines etc.