Tang Upmann Corona- a Different Kind of Review

[JohnInCleveland]

Let me preface this by saying I suck at reviews.  

My dear friend Zane, a forum friend turned real life friend, helped me procure a box split for the ages, some Tang Coronas. They’re the thing you don’t get an opportunity to find, a white whale that this Upmann fan is willing to dig deep for a split.

So I finally got the chance for a celebratory smoke, my wife and I went to Florida to escape the malaise of an Ohio January and a little birthday fun. Had a great dinner with Mrs. JohnInCleveland, and decided it’s a perfect night for a cigar and a hot tub.  Mrs. JohnInCleveland was deterred by the fact it’s 55 degrees out.  I was not.

So down to the tub.

I sparked this wonderful corona, and immediately it tasted unlike anything I’d ever had. I’d had my share of Upmann PC’s, and this didn’t even bear a passing resemblance.  Richer, fuller, stronger.  It was love at first light.  I put my arms back and settled into a wonderful soak.  As I laid back and relaxed, I put my head back and focused on my cigar. This is something else. Richer and fuller than anything I’ve smoked, even at 20+ years.  

As I’m relaxing and enjoying my treasure, a guy waves down at me from the top floor. I sheepishly wave back and think nothing of it.  Then, his lady friend comes to the window a few minutes later and does the same. Huh, I guess she wondered who he was waving at.  

The retrohale is strong, the flavors I can’t place, but they’re heavenly.  I grab a gulp of my water and put my head back, and focus on this special cigar.  For a second…

She’s back at the window, and she has disrobed.  

Well that’s interesting. I keep closing my eyes, because I’m really into this cigar, so the developments upstairs are definitely not the focus of what’s going on, they’re an afterthought. I really don’t care, although I’m thoroughly amused.  

I close my eyes again and take a few more drags. I can’t wait to smoke one of these again when I haven’t had a bottle of wine, but regardless, this is something special. Zane is gonna love this. I was so nervous these had too much age, that we overpaid for a white whale off reputation. I couldn’t be more wrong.  

A few minutes pass, and I’m close to the nub.  So is my newfound friend…

She has now pressed her naked form up against the glass, while her friend has misplaced his very own corona and tries to retrieve it from her nether region. They proceed to spend several minutes searching for it while I sit in the hot tub befuddled. This must be their thing.

I put out my cigar and hop out of the hot tub. The gentleman caller gestures for me to come up to their room and join them. I wish I was making this up, I am not.  

Anyway, Upmann Tang Corona, 10/10, would recommend. Next time I promise I’ll try and have tasting notes.  

[zeedubbya]

Love it, what an awesome review. Maybe Sir David Tang, may he Rest in Peace, put a very special type of tobacco in these cigars? “Triple Coitus” anyone 👀…. can’t wait to smoke one of/on my own!  🥂 

[CaptainQuintero]

So that's why they're so expensive, it's a full evening experience not just a cigar!

[99call]

Just brilliant in so many ways. Hats off to you.

[GP012]

Well, I... just... wow, not sure what to say! At minimum I'm glad to hear these are treating you both well. 🤣