EAR: When is enough, enough

[El Presidente]

EAR- Email Assistance Required. 

This is the second example of this that I have come across in the past six months. It can be brutal in the online world. 

"so in short, I purchased that box in 2005 from ***. and sold it on a private FB group ************. in early 2022.  Both the vendor and the box are beyond reproach but I was called out on the box earlier this year due to band irregulariites. The irregularities are no more than you have pointed out in the past, more embossing on one than another. The flavour was apparently off, they have smoked D4 all their life, you have heard it all before I am sure. Contact to myself was made 12 months after the sale and so I just let it slide. My father was not well at the time and I took 4 months off to focus on family. When I reconnected with the cigar world, I found that my reputation was seriously impinged on multiple online communities as a seller of fakes. It is a lie Rob. I am at my wits end trying to work out the next step. I can happily live without being part of a cigar community but the thought that my reputation continues to be dragged through the mud is really dragging me down. Any advice would be most welcome"

[Corylax18]

Facebook and most of the cigar groups I have interacted with there are a cesspool.(just like the rest of social media)

More armchair quarterbacks than experts, or even people with a decent understanding of cigars in general. It seems like they mostly exist for people to gossip and show off, two things I'm just not interested in. I have left all but a few local cigar groups on FB pretty quickly. They're just not for me. I understand the frustration with getting your name dragged through the mud, but considering the typical audience in an FB cigar group, it would bother me less. I'm not aware of any other group/website on the internet that fosters an atmosphere like FOH does, that's why I'm not involved with any others. There may be some other good ones out there, but I've never found them. I don't sell/trade much at all anymore. It used to be a very enjoyable part of the hobby, but for whatever reason, its much less so now. We used to to some crazy, really cool box passes and splits in the US forum, but with prices spiking like they have the last few years, its just changed the whole atmosphere around that type of thing. Its a real shame. 

[MagicalBikeRide]

In short - not much gain comes from worrying about what others think (esp online). Re this particular incident, there’s either proof or not, right? But it actually doesn’t matter if the person is confident they’re done nothing wrong. Move on, spend time with those that love you and do whatever it is makes you feel fulfilment, happiness and purpose. 

 

[Fuzz AI]

Checklist for FB Cigar group.

Do they post pics of their cigars:

• Wearing an expensive watch
• In front of the steering wheel of a luxury vehicle
• Wearing an expensive watch, in front of the steering wheel of a luxury vehicle
• In some ridiculously expensive vacation spot... wearing an expensive watch and/or in a luxury vehicle

If any of these check, then the group is more for showing off.

[TobaccoRoad]

16 minutes ago, MagicalBikeRide said:

In short - not much gain comes from worrying about what others think (esp online). Re this particular incident, there’s either proof or not, right? But it actually doesn’t matter if the person is confident they’re done nothing wrong. Move on, spend time with those that love you and do whatever it is makes you feel fulfilment, happiness and purpose. 

 

I couldn't agree more. The REAL people in your life are the important ones. Not the faceless keyboard commandos that live their life trolling the internet to foster some sense of importance to their pathetic little lives. Ignore the noise and move on. 

[Puros Y Vino]

The online cigar "community" has devolved significantly. I'm on a few FB cigar groups. Some sales based, some just hobby based.  I've bought a few things here and there over the years, but don't sell.  I see an increase in posturing, one upmanship , bragging, boasting, etc.  Everyone thinks they know it all, gain a following, etc.  They make stupid claims and double down when caught too.   I don't know what's behind it. Perhaps a societal hiccup that was the Pandemic?  Habanos marketing to monied douche lords?  The flipping?  Hmmm that's my theory. 😁 A lot of these groups grew because frequent Cuban travelers; not necessarily Cuban smokers, brought back goodies to profit from.  They'd post pictures of unlit cigars they're going to enjoy for the evening , while casually mentioning they have a few boxes, etc.  I started smoking back in 2009.  Back then, it was about group buys, box splits, trading and herfing together.  Now it's all about the $$'s and some dopamine hits via social media.  And mark my words, this EAR thread will be mocked and bitched about on FB cigar groups and other forums for weeks to come.  People will fall into camps without knowing the facts or even caring to learn the details behind the issue du jour.  This hobby of ours is a great one.  It is constantly under attack from outside forces and survives. In some cases it thrives.  What will be interesting to see is how it fares in its internal struggles. 

[Magnum Dongle]

I'm not very versed on the cigar community as it used to be since I am relatively new, but after deciding I enjoyed cigars and the company of others who do, I started looking around for areas of like minded individuals. At first I found it difficult and a bit off putting because the easily found communities via Facebook or Reddit, while having small spots of good, seemed full of people mentioned above that were more seeking to either make money or show off status. Maybe that's because cigars are becoming more of what is considered a luxury status symbol? I'm not sure that's the whole reason, but it almost seems like they've become similar to communities like watch collecting groups where it's all about showing off that you have this cigar or this big of a collection rather than sharing reviews of cigars or enjoying the hobby and knowledge of it with others. 

I have really enjoyed this site so far because it seems like while the focus is cigars, and everything about them,.people also enjoy just interacting with one another, sharing experiences, having events that connect people together. I am trying to get into one of the zoom smoking sessions soon to continue to get to know the community! I have really enjoyed my time here and with this hobby, and although I know it probably won't happen, maybe one day the hype of being the next "money maker/flashy status symbol" will die down. Either way, I digress and in the meantime enjoy cigars and this community! Looking forward to getting to know everyone! 

 

-Tyler

[LLC]

1 hour ago, Puros Y Vino said:

  I started smoking back in 2009.  Back then, it was about group buys, box splits, trading and herfing together.  

Truly the good old days 👍

[Low]

Very simple, If you're fine not being a part of that community, then you should also be fine with your rep being in the dumps. It's not like you're ever going to interact with them again. Chances are that in a very short amount of time they will forget about you, so you should forget about them. 

If you made genuine connections, then I'm sure those people will understand, but other than that? Don't worry about it, life is far too short for internet strangers to effect your self worth or mental health. 

[Fireball]

This is the only cigar group I have any interest in anymore.  Probably because it is about more than cigars. 

[Puros Y Vino]

4 hours ago, Low said:

Very simple, If you're fine not being a part of that community, then you should also be fine with your rep being in the dumps. It's not like you're ever going to interact with them again. Chances are that in a very short amount of time they will forget about you, so you should forget about them. 

If you made genuine connections, then I'm sure those people will understand, but other than that? Don't worry about it, life is far too short for internet strangers to effect your self worth or mental health. 

I think his reputation issue has to do with his inability to not sell again due to the incident.  Many long time smokers/collectors are taking advantage of the current climate to make some money offloading vintage or HTF stock and people are buying.

[BrightonCorgi]

He could do a few shill sales or the like on FB to renew his standing as a solid seller. 

 

[Low]

1 hour ago, Puros Y Vino said:

I think his reputation issue has to do with his inability to not sell again due to the incident.  Many long time smokers/collectors are taking advantage of the current climate to make some money offloading vintage or HTF stock and people are buying.

After reading it again, I still don't see it that way, specifically this

"I can happily live without being part of a cigar community but the thought that my reputation continues to be dragged through the mud is really dragging me down"

If his rep has really taken that much of a hit, there's links to bond roberts at the top and bottom of every single page on the forum. 

[gormag38]

While no-one deserves to have their name dragged through the mud for false reasons, I don't think it matters that much. You're putting too much emphasis on what a bunch of faceless avatars think of you. You know if you are legitimately contributing to the cc community. If you are then I'd say good riddance to those fb groups.