Ken Gargett Posted January 30, 2006 Posted January 30, 2006 another bit of joy from a mate - A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. And when she is menstruating, she prefers a Man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his arse.
dragon Posted January 30, 2006 Posted January 30, 2006 <<< And when she is menstruating, she prefers a Man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his arse. >>> Mine usually prefers the latter regardless....
El Presidente Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 » she prefers a Man doused in petrol and set » on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his » arse. ....experience has shown time and time again that this applies also to any woman who has spent over 20 minutes with Ken ;-)
shrink Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 » another bit of joy from a mate - » » » A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces » attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. » For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, » masculine features. » And when she is menstruating, she prefers a Man doused in petrol and set » on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his » arse. This clinches the diagnosis: MAD COW DISEASE!
Ken Gargett Posted January 31, 2006 Author Posted January 31, 2006 » » ....experience has shown time and time again that this applies also to any » woman who has spent over 20 minutes with Ken ;-) charming! and wasn't it only yesterday that you were on the blower telling me that you'd stop bagging me so much (or was that vice versa?). i could, but being a mate wouldn't, point out that the last woman cornered by rob told me after, and i quote, "that man could bore an arsehole in a wooden horse"!
Fatshotbud Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 » another bit of joy from a mate - » » » A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces » attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. » For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, » masculine features. » And when she is menstruating, she prefers a Man doused in petrol and set » on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his » arse. My X fits this description - Don't think she was ever ovulating though.
El Presidente Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 » » » » ....experience has shown time and time again that this applies also to » any » » woman who has spent over 20 minutes with Ken ;-) » » » charming! » and wasn't it only yesterday that you were on the blower telling me that » you'd stop bagging me so much (or was that vice versa?). » i could, but being a mate wouldn't, point out that the last woman cornered » by rob told me after, and i quote, "that man could bore an arsehole in a » wooden horse"! Yet again you got your translation wrong. She said " That man looks like he is hung like a horse" :-D
shrink Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Ken Gargett wrote: "that man could bore an arsehole in a wooden horse"! If I was a carpenter, and you were a lady...
dragon Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 » Yet again you got your translation wrong. » » She said " That man looks like he is hung like a horse" » » :-D That would be Rob on the left
El Presidente Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 She is pretty Cute ....the one on the right ;-)
First Lady Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 Please guys see the real reasons to the answers below : For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. - Note gentleman, women always prefer men rugged masculine no matter what their mood is :-D Especially for their lover And when she is menstruating, she prefers a Man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his arse. - Sorry to disappoint but this is always the way we feel about our husbands no matter what mood Please Ken stop trying to work out the opposite sex, Christ Rob has TFL
Taino Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 ...that's why I like Muslims!... hope my girlfriend is not around, if she hears me and I were a Muslim I would become the only one who is kicked by his girl
raney Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 » And when she is menstruating, she prefers a Man doused in petrol and set » on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his » arse. - Sorry to disappoint but this is always the way we feel about » our husbands no matter what mood Thanks Lisa - information might have been a bit more useful to me before I got married. Thanks again, though. :-| » » Please Ken stop trying to work out the opposite sex, Christ Rob has » TFL I prefer the term 'opposing' sex :-P ...and will continue to address them as such until my wife discovers this forum (did it just get frightfuly cold in here, or is it me?)
Mel Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 LOL good stuff BUT Even if that's what she told you today it ain't fer **** tomorrow. What women want? who gives a ----. Sorry there Lisa but we know that ya'll want all our money. In a divorce decree I have never seen continued sex requested by the wife, only money. We just want a slice of your pie, regularly. Simple Money for Sex-= normal married life.:-D
smk819 Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Men strike back! ! ! ! ! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. -------------------------------------------------------------------
Ginseng Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 » Men strike back! ! ! ! ! You're killing me! Wilkey
korryp Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 » Men strike back! ! ! ! ! » Quite funny but none that I would share with my wife. I want to live.
piranha Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 » Men strike back! ! ! ! ! Funny stuff. I think I'll email this to my girlfriend.
raney Posted February 2, 2006 Posted February 2, 2006 Why did the woman cross the road? Who cares - what's she doing out of the kitchen? ----------- Why is heaven only 15 % women? Any more would be hell ------------ Why are hurrricanes named after women? Neither hurricanes nor women come very often, but when they do it makes a MOTHER of a racket, and when they go they take half your fuggin house with them. ------------- ... go fix me a turkey pot pie! oh crap - did I say that out loud?
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