classic customer review on amazon for Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears, 1 Lb

[Ken Gargett]

Customer Review

Nicole L Boley

1.0 out of 5 stars Diarrhea while driving

Reviewed in the United States on September 29, 2019

 

One of our beloved physicians brought a bag of gummy bears to work to share with the staff one night shift. Not realizing they were the famous dreaded sugar free gummies multiple staff throughout the shift grabbed a handful of gummies while passing by and each have their own near miss stories but this is mine...

The next morning I have to run an errand about and hour and a half from my house. On the drive home down a curvy back country road my stomach suddenly begins to cramp and I feel the immediate urge to empty my bowels. Frantic, as I realize Im not going to make it home I start searching for a place to pull over. The end of a gated logging road perhaps? Im speeding along, arching my back, practicing lamas breathing techniques, anything to stall the inevitable. I pass the first turnoff that has a sheriffs car parked at the end and keep searching with sweat pouring down my forehead and bubbling noises in my guts that drown out the heavy metal on the stereo. Finally! I spot the end of a brushy trail and whip my truck sideways, thrusting the drivers side door open and leaping from the seat to scurry around to the other side. I turn around with fingers in waste band about to drop trow and look up to my horror realizing it is indeed the end of a driveway and the folks outside are staring down toward me probably wondering what this crazed individual is about to do. For several moments I seriously considered just completing the task and running away but couldnt imagine my parents seeing the cell phone video of myself on social media later in the day. I scurried back around the truck and halfway there my ability to hold back the hot lava flow of liquid stool from making a hastey exit out of my spasming rectum was lost and I crapped my pants right there on the side of the road standing next to my truck. My bowels cramped up and expelled every drop of liquid from my body. At that point Im now standing there with leggings full of hot liquid stool running into my shoes and debating on what the next best course of action should be. Of course I have no extra clothes or any towels in my truck. What do I do? Do I call someone? Do I drive home the remaining 20 minutes? After a few moments of self reflection I decided to strip off my shirts and lay them on the seat of my truck and get inside. It was a rather uncomfortable drive home with the windows all down and skin burning on the backs of my legs and buttocks. It was one of the longest 20 minute periods of time Ive ever experienced in my entire life. I alternated between crying and laughing at the situation and checking the speedometer like a paranoid drunk thinking I cant possibly get pulled over right now because what would I say? Yes officer, I crapped my pants. Thats what that smell is. Tears streaming down my face. I finally arrive home, screeching to a hault in the driveway in front of the open automatic garage door I triggered as I was drifting the curve onto my road. Holding the bottoms of my pant legs closed tight I awkwardly stagger into my house and immediatly into the shower fully clothed.

Fast forward 3 weeks and Im at work hearing about the other incidents and the light bulb clicks on......

35 years old and I had to reset the clock for the "how long since you've last crapped your pants" countdown....

Thanks Dr Hanson

Lesson learned.......make sure the gummy bears are not the sugar free version

[nKostyan]

Always read the annotations and warnings on the packaging ?

[Eric05]

This is funny but so true. A friend of mine told me about them. So i have a bunch of people who sometimes go through my snacks on my desk. Needless to say. I had about 3 of them all on the shitter in pain

[Puros Y Vino]

I remember this one. Years ago some guys on a reddit cigar forum got together on Google Hangouts to consume these gummies while smoking a LFD Digger. Which is a very fat A sized cigar known for its' strength and it's propensity for making people want to    The challenge was to see who'd be the last one to make the dash to the toilet.  

[THEMISCHMAN]

These made me laugh. The wife sent me the link a couple days ago.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-SUGAR-Classic-Gummi-Bears/product-reviews/B006J1FBLM

[StogieSteve23]

That is classic.  Haribo gummy bears are hands down the best around.  The sugar free ones however, really suck.  They taste terrible and this story is the side effect!