FOH Health: Minister bans doggy style because of health concerns

[El Presidente]

We try to cover the big men's health issues 

I still think the below is a little bit ......well...."ruff" 

 

Minister bans doggy style because of health concerns

• He said occasional doggy style only on Christmas day and Valentine is harmless

 

 

Controversial South African Minister of Health, Aaron Motsoaledi, has said ‘doggy’ style during sex is the major cause of cancer and stroke.

He said after three years of arduous research, he found out that the high pumping of blood during sex, when one is standing or kneeling overloads the veins in the legs which ultimately causes stroke.

He told The Insider, “On cancer – one of the main causes of cancer is stress, fatigue and tiredness.

Stress

“The most energy consuming and stressful sexual position for men is doggy; hence the connection is more than clear.

“Look, I am only giving you guys a snippet, but we will be posting the results of the full research on the Ministry website.”

He added that he is in talks with Home Affairs Minister, Malusi Gigaba to craft a legislation that will seek to outlaw this style.

Valentines

According to him, occasional doggy style like only on Christmas day and Valentine is harmless but be sure that each night is suicidal.

“This is the reason why South African married men die and leave their wives a lot these days,” the 58-year-old man added.

[cfc1016]

I’m gonna die. 

[Akela3rd]

I’m gonna die. 

Why? What you up to? And why are you reading this at the same time?

[IanMcLean68]

"When a dog is on heat, it wants sex.

That is my defence."

--Jimmy Carr

[gweilgi]

"arduous research", eh?  I'll bet...

 

[Akela3rd]

 

We'll have to wait for the full report, as promised, I suppose.I want to know what his scientific methodology is. Has he researched other positions and their relativity to Judeo-Christian holidays and Hallmark card marketing? The men's health issues for, Easter, the reverse cowboy and "congratulations on your new home" could be immense for example.

 

[Islandboy]

8 minutes ago, Akela3rd said:

 

We'll have to wait for the full report, as promised, I suppose.I want to know what his scientific methodology is. Has he researched other positions and their relativity to Judeo-Christian holidays and Hallmark card marketing? The men's health issues for, Easter, the reverse cowboy and "congratulations on your new home" could be immense for example.

 

Thanks Akela, I just had to google “reverse cowboy” (what can I say, I’m a simple Islandboy, not worldly on matters such as this. I mainly employ the horizontal hula).  

Now THAT looks like it could hurt someone.

[Akela3rd]

Thanks Akela, I just had to google “reverse cowboy” (what can I say, I’m a simple Islandboy, not worldly on matters such as this. I mainly employ the horizontal hula).  
Now THAT looks like it could hurt someone.

Yeah, you might want to delete that one from your search history...

[gweilgi]

36 minutes ago, Akela3rd said:

42 minutes ago, Islandboy said:

Thanks Akela, I just had to google “reverse cowboy” (what can I say, I’m a simple Islandboy, not worldly on matters such as this. I mainly employ the horizontal hula).  
Now THAT looks like it could hurt someone.

Yeah, you might want to delete that one from your search history...

Bah.

Thanks to FOH, we now have VPNs!  Means we are now ever so Secret Squirrel in our serious scientific study of sundry sexual sessions...

[IanMcLean68]

51 minutes ago, Islandboy said:

Thanks Akela, I just had to google “reverse cowboy” (what can I say, I’m a simple Islandboy, not worldly on matters such as this. I mainly employ the horizontal hula).  

Now THAT looks like it could hurt someone.

If you really want a scare, look up reverse cowgirl, and then look up broken penis.

[Fuzz AI]

I have to agree, in part, with the research. After my own very extensive research, I have found that being naked with a woman often leads to a stroke... unless you're skipping the foreplay.