Sunday Funny: Don't mess with seniors

[El Presidente]

The New Car

A retired older couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they had been interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty red head in a mini skirt and a halter top.

The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply, "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $55,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for $45,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model."

The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. "Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?", replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.

Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.

"There you go," she said. "I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price. See you later Dad, Happy Father's day."

Once again.... don't mess with seniors.

[Fuzz]

Oldie, but a classic!

[cigcars]

   ....and the old man called his son and told him that he had to have all the acreage on his farmland plowed and overturned within the week, or else his crops were going to suffer. The son told his dad, "Gee, dad, you're 100 miles away, out of my way plus I've got to report to work full time all week...just not sure I could do it!" Well then the old man got a visit from his local law enforcement officials; seems some very bad bad guy had just robbed the local gold respository (incredibly!) and reports were that he'd buried it somewhere on the old man's premises, so they'd have to dig and search the property. The long arm of the finance enforcement officials tore that old man's property up totally...tore up from the floor up! But nothing was found. And since it was such a laborious task for those officials they gave him a written promissary notice that he could arrange - and at THEIR earliest convenience for them to right his properties and lands again. A couple of days afterward the old man's son called him and said, "Okay dad, I made that tip call to the those officials, so I hope that does it for your new plowed lands!"

[Ken Gargett]

there is a supposedly true story about an old bloke in northern england ringing the cops to say he had just spotted a couple of thieves in his shed. they were still there and please send a team to arrest them.

the cop said sorry, too busy. various priorities. someone would be there in an hour or two. stay indoors.

old bloke rings back a few minutes later to say he had shot them.

pandemonium. several cop cars, a swat team, ambulances. you name it. every form of law enforcement for miles. they storm in and find the crooks still in the shed, unharmed. they arrest them but then the commander goes berserk at the old guy. how dare you waste police resources like this. you'll be charged etc etc. you said you shot them.

the old bloke just looked at the commander - "and you said everyone was busy".

[99call]

My mate Dickie was travelling around America in the Deep South (a good 15yrs ago now). He pulled into a gas station, with an ancient old dude sat out front, in a rocking chair. Filled up, and walked over and gave the guy his cash. I think he had gone just over or under a round figure, and had assured the guy that it was the correct money. Any way the reply was 

"its' okay.......................you cheat me boy.......................I'll hunt you down!!!"

Dickie, said he giggled like it was a southern hospitality style 'in joke',  the old grizzled man just sat there looking at him blankly, until he made a dozen English gent awkward goodbyes, and got back on the road.  Scary

[Romka]

A physicist, a mathematician and an engineer joins to a competition. A beatiful naked girl stands 3m away from them and they are asked to walk to her but with one condition. Every next step will be half of the distance in between. The girl is waiting still and willing to do anything they would acquire once they reach her. Mathematician first says it is an infinite series and does not worth to try. Physicist withdraws with the same reasoning but the engineer accepts the challenge. When asked he has a simple reply: "In theory it may be impossible but practically I can get close enough to do the job".

Cheers to all engineers here.