The morning after...

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Daylight broke through his foggy brain like a bomb. He didn't remember much of the previous night except it started with one of those monthly appreciation nights with his cigar club. Dan (not his real name) turned to get up and saw a Post-It stuck to the nightlamp. "Good morning luv, hope you slept well" the note said. The alarm levels went up to orange in his head. "I guess my attempts at sneaking in didn't quite work out" he thought.

He lurched to the bathroom to wash up the dregs out of his mouth. To his greater surprise he saw another Post-It on the mirror. This one had a big red lipstick kiss on it: "I fixed up breakfeast for you in the kitchen". The alarm shot up from orange to red. "The condemned man last meal" he figured.

He managed to find his way down the stairs and into the kitchen where his son was sitting at the table having coffee. Sure enough, on the table was a hearty fare: OJ, eggs Benedict and coffee.

"What happened last night?" the condemned man asked his son.

"Well dad, you came in quite late and made one hell of a racket. You went straight into the living room, lit up a double corona and polished off a fifth of whisky". "Arrgghhh" he thought knowing how much his wife hated cigar smoke in the house. "This time the pooch is really screwed!".

"Where is she now?" he asked his son, looking unsteadily at the breakfeast.

"She's gone into town to buy you another bottle and a box of cigars" came the reply from his half-smiling son. His brain tried to process the message and no matter how hard he tried he could not bring up any memories that made any sense.

"What happened after the cigar and the whisky?" he asked now more puzzled than worried.

"Well Dad all I know is that you went upstairs to your bedroom and threw yourself on the bed. Mom got up to help put you into bed properly and when she reached to pull your pants down you yelled: "TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME *****, I'M A MARRIED MAN"!!

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