OZCUBAN Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Hi All Being Aussie Rules finals time thought you might get a laugh out of this Q. Two Collingwood supporters jump off a cliff. Who wins A. Society. Q. What does a Collingwood supporter use as protection during sex? A. Bus shelter. Q. What does a Collingwood supporter use as a contraceptive? A. His personality. Q. What do you call a 30 year old female Collingwood supporter? A. Granny. Q. What do you call a Collingwood supporter in a suit? A. The defendant. Q. Why did the Collingwood supporter cross the road? A. To start a fight with a complete stranger, for no reason what so ever. Q. What do you call a female Collingwood supporter in a white tracksuit? A. The bride. Q. If you are driving and you see a Collingwood supporter on a bike, why should you try not to hit him? A. It might be your bike. Q. What's the first question during a Collingwood supporter quiz night? A. What you looking at? Q. Two Collingwood supporters in a car without any music - who is driving? A. The policeman! Q. Why is three Collingwood supporters going over a cliff in Lexus a shame? A. Because a Lexus has four seats. Q. What do you say to a Collingwood supporter with a job? A. Big Mac please. You know you're a Collingwood supporter when: 1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does. 2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4. Jack Daniel's makes your list of 'most admired people.' 5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. 6. Someone in your family once died right after saying: 'Hey, watch this.' 7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo. 9. You think the last words of Advance Australia Fair are: 'Carn the Maggies .' 10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded, right off its wheels. 11. The market value of your car goes up and down, depending on how much petrol is in it. 12. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 13. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 14. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 15. You think 'loaded dishwasher' means your wife is drunk. 16. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. 17. Your front verandah collapses and kills more than five dogs. Cheers OZ
LeafLover Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Oz, sorry brotha, but who is Collingwood and why are they the butt of these jokes?
Ken Gargett Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 having apparently already once offended collingwood fans on this site and notwithstandong a wish to never do so again, may i just say, LOVE IT.
Ken Gargett Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 for those that don't know collingwood, they are one of those love them or hate them footy teams that have made an absolute art form of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, especially in the grand final and long may it remain so.
sje Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 a great man once said, "this is sooo funny because its true" for our American brothers and sista's Collingwood are one of the powerhouse Australian Rules Football teams whos original demograhpic (of the suburb) was very very working class (barely in most cases) a sterotypical collingwood supporter looks like what the cat Dragged in. http://www.themercury.com.au/images/upload...joffa-story.jpg this guy is the leader of their cheer squad (true) enough said. Spiro
First Lady Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Dear God this is too funny..... having been to a game where Collingwood played it is all too true LOLOL
El Presidente Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Maximus is not going to be happy with this thread
maximus Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 THERE NOT GETTIN ME THIS TIME ROB...all i can say is GO THE PIES...THE FLAG IS OURS THIS YEAR
Ken Gargett Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 THERE NOT GETTIN ME THIS TIME ROB...all i can say is GO THE PIES...THE FLAG IS OURS THIS YEAR deja vu, all over again!!
sje Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 THERE NOT GETTIN ME THIS TIME ROB...all i can say is GO THE PIES...THE FLAG IS OURS THIS YEAR Ah i love all this collingwood supporter build up and expectation, it simply equates to a greater height to fall from (says he who follows the bombers) ah so sad. Spiro
maximus Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 deja vu, all over again!! not at all ken..all good....hope your feelin betta champ
MIKA27 Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Oz, sorry brotha, but who is Collingwood and why are they the butt of these jokes? Hi Leaf. To answer your question, it's quite easily achievable to paint a picture in your mind of what a Collingwood fan looks like. Picture the people you see so often in the "People of Wallmart' jokes and pics floting around on the net, then you will know WHO they are.
LeafLover Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Hi Leaf.To answer your question, it's quite easily achievable to paint a picture in your mind of what a Collingwood fan looks like. Picture the people you see so often in the "People of Wallmart' jokes and pics floting around on the net, then you will know WHO they are. Wow! Some powerful pics. LOL.
cigcars Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 *And to think that in a south Georgia town the mayor wants to start fines for people who walk around with all that boody hangin' out from under their pants...he may want to look at these pics 1st or he may end up with civil war again!
OZCUBAN Posted September 7, 2010 Author Posted September 7, 2010 Let me just say that Collingwood are the Manchester United of aussie rules
MIKA27 Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Let me just say that Collingwood are the Manchester United of aussie rules ......................................................o....k....??
sje Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 ......................................................o....k....?? Maybe let us further say Collingwood is the sebastian Vettel of Australian rules football ?????????????????? hah ? with me ? anyone ? spiro
Ken Gargett Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 not at all ken..all good....hope your feelin betta champ i am, many thanks, though bit concerned re the finals - dislike the swans and dogs as much as i do the pies so it is not looking good all round.
Ken Gargett Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Let me just say that Collingwood are the Manchester United of aussie rules no way in the world. and believe me in that i dislike man u at least as much as the pies (collingwood known locally as the pies, being short for magpies which is their nickname). the difference is that man u regularly win, a charge that could never be levelled at the pies.
KurtE Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 baha the likelihood of the pies winning the flag this year is minimal. chokers in front of goal and in finals in general
OZCUBAN Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 Let me just say that Collingwood are the Manchester United of aussie rules When i say this i mean that they are lucky buggers and how do i say "Fan demographics " SORRY MAXIMUS My money is on Fremantle and or St Kilda Chers OZ :cigar P.S Hope your feeling better
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