Day 176 of the Ken Cuban Presidency

[El Presidente]

The Latin American Leaders Forum was being held in Santiago Chile. Barack Obama was the special guest and Presidente ken was keen to position himself alongside Obama for the opening morning photo shoot. It had been 2 months since Ken had burnt Obama’s face in the infamous “Mutilation on the Malecon” Cigar torch episode. Cuban Foreign Affairs Minister Lisa Goretta and Vice President Maximus Robusto escorted ken to the conference.

Ken: “Lisa...where is Obama?”

Lisa “On the other side of the room Ken. For the photo shoot you have been instructed by the organizers to stay well away from him....at Obama’s request”

Ken “That is a little thin skinned! I mean...you scar one man’s face for life and the whole thing gets blown out of proportion! So where am I to stand?”

Maximus “ You are between presidents Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva of Brazil, Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, Evo Morales of Bolivia, Rafael Correa of Ecuador and Fernando Lugo of Paraguay.”

Ken “ I WILL NOT! Leftist communist Pinko scum the lot of them!”

Lisa “ Heavens sake ken...we owe most of those Pinko scum money.”

Ken” Of course..... I meant Pinko Scum in the nicest way.....”

And so Ken decked out in his Militiary fatigues (complete with two new medals for the occasion) strode over to Hugo Chavez and extended his hand.

Ken “ Hola Hugo, Long time no see you mucho”

Chavez “ Hola Presidente Ken. Nice military fatigues. I wasn’t aware you were a military man”

Ken “ I hate guns Hugo. Never been one for coups and oppressing the marginalized. I bought these at Harrods. Where did you get your spiffy jungle outfit?”

Chavez “Oppressing the marginalized. Thank you ken for the Credit Card payment for the oil last week. It has been a long time since we have been paid”

Ken “Yes....the new Cuban “LIKEAMEX Card” is proving a hit. Send the chargeback to Maximus”

Lisa whispered in Kens ear “Obama is walking over to you”

Ken “ I have to go Hugo, I need to speak to someone important”

Obama reaches the Cuban contingent.

“Lisa...so lovely to see you again and Maximus, always a delight. Presidente ken, I see you have been hanging out with your leftist friends. You must love that embargo ”

Ken “That’s a load of crap Barack.”

Obama “ One is judged by the company he keeps”

Ken “ You condescending prick!”

Maximus “This is going well. President Obama, Ken is merely trying to put forth an articulate argument to President Chavez on the benefits of tolerance and true democracy. I am sure that we have just got off on the wrong foot and that perhaps we should start over for the good of our nations and in a spirit of mutual respect”

Ken “ You can hardly see the scar on your face Barack....does it itch?

Obama “sometimes”

Ken “Good”

Lisa “ I quit”

A stunned Obama walked away to the Mexican President Felipe Calderon with Ken yelling out “Go belt a piñata scarface!”

Lisa. “That’s it Doofus I’m out of here”

Maximus “ Lise, honey, baby....we need you”

Lisa “I worked my arse off for that two minutes in order that we could start a dialogue again with the Americans and this pumped up ingrate ruins it.”

Ken “ I agree Lisa.....Obama was insufferable.”

Maximus “Ken...we will discuss this later but the Left wing Latin contingent is coming over to you”

They commenced applauding.

Chavez “Congratulations Presidente ken! We thought you were a Maricon, but alas you are a wolf in sheeps clothing!”

Ken whispered in my ear “Maximus....did you tell Hugo I wear lambs wool pyjamas?”

Ken “ Hugo....I am sure Barack will apologize later in the day. I hold no grudges”

Chavez “ You are too modest! You are the new Simon Bolivar of latin America! I see now that with your Cuban LIKEAMEX card, your Microhard software project and Orange Mephone.....you intend to crush the Americans throughout the world!”

Ken “Yeeeessssss...only a weak mind would ever consider settling trademark violations for an end to the embargo”

Chavez ‘Come comrade, we will meet you in the conference room....you sit and dine with us! All debts are wiped!”

Lisa “Ken you go and apologize to Obama now before this goes any further.”

Ken “He started it”

Lisa “Ken...... I will call your mother”

Ken “ BARACK!!!!!”

To be continued.

[Tampa1257]

The Only reason that Ken has not yet earned a Tactical Nuke is that Key West and Jimmy Buffett is only a mere 90 miles away. Obama knows that disrupting Margarettiville would be bad Mo Jo.

[laficion]

This is really taking a turn for the worst

Will Ken still talk to Obama ?, will they sit together at the dinner

table? Will Ken somehow manage to spill something on Barack?

Will all this ever be filmed ?

[jquest63]

Another triumph for Ken! A true 21st century diplomatic success story, perhaps it's time celebrate with lip synching concerts performed by shameless performers of dubious talent and alcohol fueled scandalous behaviour.

[Colt45]

Comrade Ken - living the dream.

And leave it to RA to tear at wounds which have barely had time to heal. Sometimes I think KG should be considered

for sainthood - or at least be knighted.

P.S. Goretta?

How long have you guys worked together?

[aavkk]

my favorite line... "does it itch?"

[Ken Gargett]

Ken "That is a little thin skinned! I mean...you scar one man's face for life and the whole thing gets blown out of proportion!

true. des never held a grudge.

[asmith]

I will tell your mother, what a great line.

[thechenman]

Definitely agree with Smithy...the "mother" line was a riot!