That's when the fight started...

[coocooforroo]

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

and then the fight started....

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we

were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

and then the fight started....

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and

slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the van, and

proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing

50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and

Discovered that the weather would be bad all day..

I went back into the house,quietly undressed, and slipped back into

bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and

whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is

out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road

and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you

Just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I

couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car,

looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

and then the fight started.....

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place

expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

and then the fight started...

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for

Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my

driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had

left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I

would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my

urly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she

processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social

Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.

You might have gotten disability, too.'

and then the fight started....

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not

happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old,

fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

[tsolomon]

Excellent, these are great and I needed a laugh.

[maalouly]

That's great! Haha

[BolivarSmoker]

Love the one about "Millionaire!"

[smpf67]

Good ones. Keep 'em coming.

[samb]

LOL!!

[android]

Very funny

[jquest63]

LOL!