I HATE TELSTRA!!

[Ken Gargett]

I know I am far from being alone in hating Telstra but if there is anyone from there and has access to those tapes they say they make, please try and grab mine from today.

This was like Salvador Dali meets Basil Fawlty meets the Three Stooges. I am still half giggling, half fuming.

I made my fiftieth call to Telstra because the computer had gone down for the 1000th time in the last week. No one can fix it, I have had people do different things every time. It has been keystone kops, though the tech people have tried. Today’s latest call got a bloke who decided I had been given the wrong stuff in the first place, when I moved a month ago, and I should be going from the little blue box modem they told me was perfect to a card. All that was bad enough and far too much absurdity went on to detail it all. Then, had to speak to a lovely young girl, aged 12, in their accounts dept - I don’t think she likes me. First up, she gets up all my accounts. Then she asks me, over the phone, if I have a phone. I ask her if she is serious. She doesn’t twig - I can’t help but wonder if they ask everyone this. This goes on and on. We set it all up. They need to check among other things, drivers licence, what I do, where I do it, who I do it for, how long I’ve done it and, I kid you not, ‘your favourite sports team’.

So she is going to send stuff to me here at Hastings Point. I say send it to my PO box back at Main Beach. Can’t, has to come to Hastings Point. I say don’t send it here. We argue for ages. I explain that there is no mail box here. There is simply nowhere to deliver mail. In twenty years, no one has ever got mail here. So she asks if I have a PO box. Yes, the same one I asked you to send it to in the first place. It just got worse. (I should explain for anyone who does not know Hastings Point that it is a tiny town in northern NSW, also known as the back of nowhere. Nice but isolated. There is one shop and zip else. Unfortunately, I am no longer welcome in the shop as I objected to being sold a day-old paper. When I returned it, i was told I could not swap it for for today's, as they only got three papers a day and they were sold out. And tough luck about a refund (which I would not have bothered about except she was so obnoxious), because, and yet again I swear this is true, apparently a lot of people like buying their paper when it is a day old. And they say Qld is behind the times!

Then my friend from Telstra says what would I like my new email to be. I explain that I will be changing my email address over Telstra’s dead corpse. Another very long argument. I refer her back to the bit of what I do (includes lawyer, tho granted that might be a stretch these days). She explains that I had to have received a new email address when I got the stinking blue box a month ago. I explain not. Eventually we work out that I have a cable email address (and apparently another one that I didn’t know about - the one that comes with the blue box even tho the old one works perfectly). I can keep the cable address, which is all I want because, as she says, ‘no one knows about it’. And then, again true - she tells me not to tell anyone at Telstra that I have it. I try and clarify (at this stage, she is at least pleased I am no longer threatening to sue her/Telstra/her unborn children/Telstra’s unborn spawn because I am laughing too hard, though she has no idea why).

So you do not want me to let on to Telstra that I have a cable account with Telstra.

Yes.

Seriously.

Yes, it’ll just cause problems.

Well, we wouldn’t want any of those.

Now if only I didn’t have even worse relations with the idiots at Optus.

Sorry about all this - very cathartic to get it out. And yes, still nothing works for more than a few minutes a day, so you may not even get this.

Best

KBG

[Colt45]

Well Ken, as is often the case, I have no idea what you're talking about. But if you

hate them, break out the pitchforks and torches, and I'll march with you.......

[Mel]

» Well Ken, as is often the case, I have no idea what you're talking about.

» But if you

» hate them, break out the pitchforks and torches, and I'll march with

» you.......

I'm with you Colt I'm lost here but Ken is upset about something. Change you tampon mate and don't expect the idiots to recover.;-)

[shrink]

I can sympathize, mate. Though I don't know who or what Telstra is... appears to be some kind of telecommunications empire.

I can understand why the girl asked you if you had a phone. It kind of surprises me when I see pix of modern Australia, with all the conveniences. If one were to judge by the movies that we see in the states, it would be easy to conclude that Ozzies are living in some kind of turn-of-the century time-warp, mostly riding horses, tending enormous herds of sheep in the outback, cursing cane toads, etc.

It was more romantic then, eh? Maybe Australia should ban all these modern in-conveniences, and recapture a simpler, more appealing era. Ken, have you ever considered crocodile wrestling?

[PorscheC4S]

When I read the thread title, I just figured it was some Australian brand of erectile deficiancy drug that didn't get Ken as big as he'd anticipated.

[El Presidente]

» When I read the thread title, I just figured it was some Australian brand

» of erectile deficiancy drug that didn't get Ken as big as he'd

» anticipated.

Testra is the largest telecommunications company in the country.

Ken is Ken.

[Ken Gargett]

yes, large and completely inefficent communications company, spawned from hell.

i have had many messages of support and terrific and similar stories.

one may not have been telstra's fault. mate set up his law firm and changed to telstra, which he now regrets for other reasons. the new email was to be lawfirm@etc/etc. once set, telstra claim it can't be changed. unfortunately, his girlfriend took the final call and when asked to confirm, she got a better idea. his serious law firm's email is now marybeth@etc/etc...

[shrink]

mate set up his law firm and changed to telstra, which he now regrets for other reasons. the new email was to be lawfirm@etc/etc. once set, telstra claim it can't be changed. unfortunately, his girlfriend took the final call and when asked to confirm, she got a better idea. his serious law firm's email is now marybeth@etc/etc...

This strikes a painful reminder (or two) from my own experience. I had arranged for a fencing company to come out to our (previous) home, and had specified the fencing, perimeters, etc. in advance and had approved a quote.

I was, of course, at the office the morning the fence company arrived. My (believe it or not still current) wife thought it would be nice to change the plans on the spot, and run the fence entirely around the house, instead of just the back yard. She thought it would be nice to have a fence along the entire property line (why not, she thought). When I got home, guess which section they had finished first. Can't guess? Try again.

After my blood pressure dropped somewhere into mortal territory, I asked her if she had thought about the consequences of her decision. What little detail do you think she overlooked? Can't guess. Try again. Men always get this correct on the first go. Most women do not.

[genevapics]

» What little detail do you think she overlooked? Can't guess. Try again.

» Men always get this correct on the first go. Most women do not.

A gate?

[shrink]

A gate?

What are you? A friggin' wimp?

[Ken Gargett]

i was thinking fence across the driveway.

[shrink]

» i was thinking fence across the driveway.

Not even warm, Ken. I'm disappointed in you. But then, you've never been married.

The extra fencing cost me $4469.00

"I didn't know it would cost that much more", she said. They had the extra fence on the truck." "Did you ask?", said I. "No", she replied.

Oh, that little detail!

[Tampa1257]

» The extra fencing cost me $4469.00

»

» "I didn't know it would cost that much more", she said. They had the extra

» fence on the truck." "Did you ask?", said I. "No", she replied.

»

» Oh, that little detail!

So I guess that little detail cut into her Cigar Budget.................;-)

[shrink]

So I guess that little detail cut into her Cigar Budget.................;-)

I know it sounds cruel, but I never bought her another cigar.

How are you doing, Chuck? It's good to see you online. You got a lot of heart, brother. "It takes a lickin', but keeps on tickin'".

[El Presidente]

Got to love wives

[Freefallguy]

» Well Ken, as is often the case, I have no idea what you're talking

I understood completely first crack, I’m in trouble.

Will I next live in a cardboard box behind me mum’s house?

Slurp and spit wine and then give half-left bottles to my mates all the while insisting that it’s good?

Believe that my NFL team will revive their pre-Elizabeth Regina glory?

Whinge about kiwi’s and then privately perve over their shorn sheep?

Whinge about gratis cigars?

Whinge about the forlorned once mighty Reds?

Whinge, whinge, whinge?

Heaven help me!