El Presidente Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 This post is for the young tykes of FOH who are in new relationships, freshly married (sub 7 years) or who one day dream of having a relationship (Ken). The discussion started on our fishing expedition Wednesday and after several stories....we felt it would be a community service announcement for the old heads to post some gems of advice ;-) FOH Relationship advice. Never come home from a strip joint and state that you personally do not like the feel and texture of fake breasts. PJ 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt45 Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Never forget your significant other's birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 » Never forget your significant other's birthday. ....in Particular her 40th ........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsd Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 I learned early on that you cant reply with an exuberant "YES" when she asks if you think your waitress (or any other girl you see together) is hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 » I learned early on that you cant reply with an exuberant "YES" when » she asks if you think your waitress (or any other girl you see together) » is hot. When you run into an old Girl Friend of 20 years ago while shopping with your wife at Myers....and your old Girlfriend is dressed like an extra from the movie "Grease" (big hair, big breasts, low cut leopard print spray on blouse with matching spray on pants, big bangle earings, knee high boots and wearing enough makeup for the entire cast).......Do not later tell your wife when you are in the car and under a barrage of 50 questions " seriously honey, she is a really nice girl and you share a lot of things in common " El Presidente 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 Keep a calm and clear head when introducing your spouse to new business associates at a function. Never....Ever....introduce your spouse by your previous wife's name. Bowden 2001 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy2 Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 This is funny **** . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 Tampons are not a laughing matter. Under no circumstances should they be used as $25 chip markers at home poker game with mates. "Honey...there was nothing else to use" is no excuse. Nameless 1996 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
First Lady Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 I really am amazed you are still married Rob Smithy and I have always remarked up on it .......:-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skid11 Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 NEVER Say Yes when asked if her Bum looks big in this outfit !! Sometimes it is OK to tell lies.;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt45 Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Never save letters from an old girlfriend where they may be found by a new one. It will be even worse if these letters were written after you've been in the new relationship for quite some time. anonymous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jqmunro Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 » I learned early on that you cant reply with an exuberant "YES" when » she asks if you think your waitress (or any other girl you see together) » is hot. hehehe, not unless she wants to ask her to come home with the two of you :op Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 Never introduce nor suggest new techniques or ideas on "marital relations" after a solo trip away El Pres 1996 - 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 You can recieve criticism about your mother but you are not permitted to criticise hers. Universal.... Year dot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 NONE of her friends are attractive. El Pres 2005 and still getting the comment" Look Rob, there's "####', you know...the one you find attractive" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 Brownie Points last 30 days maximum. You can buy a 3 carat diamond ring, necklace or splurge on that lifetime holiday for two. 30 Days is it. Non transferable. Use it. Universal......year dot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 Invitations to bring your "wife or partner" should not be taken seriously. Jesus -1 AD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsd Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 » » I learned early on that you cant reply with an exuberant "YES" » when » » she asks if you think your waitress (or any other girl you see » together) » » is hot. » » hehehe, not unless she wants to ask her to come home with the two of you » :op A man can dream... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsd Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 » NONE of her friends are attractive. » » El Pres 2005 and still getting the comment" Look Rob, there's "####', » you know...the one you find attractive" So true. Im not attracted to any of her friends ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asmith Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 » I really am amazed you are still married Rob » » Smithy and I have always remarked up on it .......:-D In the nine years that I have known Rob I have actually never even seen his wife. All this advice that you are dispensing is it offered as reasons why I have never seen your wife. Rule # 452 "If she thinks you're a little dumb never let her see the staff you have hired, she may suggest that they run the business instead of you?" This rule may explain why I have never met Mrs Ayala.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 » Rule # 452 "If she thinks you're a little dumb never let her see the staff » you have hired, she may suggest that they run the business instead of you?" » » » This rule may explain why I have never met Mrs Ayala.... Very Harsh Smithy I am sane enough to know no good could come of a "get together" between work colleagues and Saint Angela. Stupid I may be.....an Idiot I am not ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Deny everything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smokin_Safari Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Do NOT introduce your young wife as your "first wife". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jay8354 Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Hi Everyone, My name is Jay and I have been with my wife for 12+ years, married together for 2+ yrs. We also have a 5+mth old daughter In this time, I have learned the following to keep her happy. It also allows me to get up to mischief and not be crucified: Always listen and answer within 30 secs to her question. Learn to listen well and hard to the tone and message. Process and spin it into a positive. She is ALWAYS beautiful, even if she does not believe you She is NEVER EVER FAT!!! Especially after childbirth. Her cooking is Fantastic, even if you have trouble keeping it down and you are starving She is allows to make comments on your mum, but not hers. DO NOT comment when she asks question abt your mum. Never ever admit to being attracted to your female friends, her friends, her sisters, her sisters' friends After going to a strip joint, do not mention anything positive about anything (barring PJ's comment) Your "Yes" is usually followed by a "NO", the one after is a trick question, pay attention. Pray that you only snore and do not talk in your sleep. Pray Hard Burn into your mind, her questions are like when the US police reading you your rights, any comments Elephant's memories have nothing on wives' memories, does not even compare Remember all the important dates, her birthdays, anniversary when first dating, wedding anniversary, birthday of your children. Your birthday does not count. Remember all her details - ALL Buy a PDA for dates and details or like Rob - Hire someone like Lisa (only good if you advise them of said dates and details, not after) Buy a GPS Sat Nav to avoid arguements on why you are not organised ahead of time Massages are good for wives/girlfriends/parther, relieves their stress, you have done and paid for something they like Make the most of the time when they are getting the massage Brownie points are only proportional to what you have done for them on their scale (30 days, I wish) Buying lingerie for them does not count to said above House chores also does not count either apparently Disclaimer - Under no circumstances do I love my wife any less . Some of the above points are highly exaggerated for amusement (thank god she does not logon to FOH). If by any chance that I am in the doghouse, I will know that my best mate dob me in and there will be hell to pay. Yes I am talking about you Fuzz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crossbow Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 » Deny everything! Best advice ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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