any of these ring a bell, rob?

[Ken Gargett]

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.

That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

[JMH]

I think we can set the record straight and attribute one of those anonymous quotes to he who so rightfully deserves it.

[anacostiakat]

Some gems in there!

[wp2]

Some classics there, ken.

[shrink]

Ken,

Thanks for sharing with us the secrets of your appeal to the opposite sex. No wonder women find you so charming. :-P

[Ken Gargett]

» Ken,

»

» Thanks for sharing with us the secrets of your appeal to the opposite sex.

» No wonder women find you so charming. :-P

and people pay you for advice like that? i am in the wrong business (and before rob comments, think glass houses).

[El Presidente]

Nice one Ken :-)

I can't remember the number of times you have said that "all my married friends are miserable....I see no reason to join them."

[Curt]

Drink 'till she's cute but stop before the wedding.

[shrink]

and people pay you for advice like that? i am in the wrong business

No, advice like that I dispense for free. Women pay me to listen sympathetically and keep my mouth shut. More than can be said for some people. After all, I think, not drink, for a living.

[Ken Gargett]

After all, I think, not drink, for a living.

they are not mutually exclusive.

[Cam]

huh, keep it calm guys :-P nice list though ken! we havent met yet but im cam from nz, you probably seen my other posts, yeah anyway nice list and good night!

[shrink]

» After all, I think, not drink, for a living.

»

» they are not mutually exclusive.

Like misognyny and matrimony?

[Colt45]

» Like misognyny and matrimony?

or misandry and civil unions.......

[Ken Gargett]

» » After all, I think, not drink, for a living.

» »

» » they are not mutually exclusive.

»

» Like misognyny and matrimony?

i couldn't possibly comment.