They walk among us...

[Wiley]

They Walk Among Us

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old,

still working fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on

it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three

days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at

it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this

deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:

"Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it.

Caution ... They Walk Among Us

=================

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent

which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the

sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

They Walk Among Us!

==========

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I

got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center

was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,

7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . . . . .

They Walk Among Us!

==========

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we

overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the

sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car

was moving". . . . . . .

They Walk Among Us!

==========

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut

through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk .

They Walk Among Us!

==========

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were

discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The

cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us!

==========

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the

chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a

person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned. . . . . . .

They Walk Among Us!

=========

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to

the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never

showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a

trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me,

"has your plane arrived yet? " . . . . . .

They Walk Among Us!

=========

While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small

pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he

would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some

time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm

hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

Yep, They Walk Among Us too.

They walk among us, and reproduce!

[olotti]

Ya really have to wonder sometimes..... :-D

[mailman]

» Ya really have to wonder sometimes..... :-D

i'd like to add a couple to that list. working in the post office you think you've see or heard it all:

my buddy told me this , he works the window.

customer: do you have stamps?

clerk: yes, what kind would you like?

customer: how much does a 37 cent stamp cost?

i witnessed this one!

tax season,, we have a table of forms , booklets, etc.....

customer: do you have tax forms?

clerk: yes they are on the table behind you.

(2 mins after looking through the forms)

customer :to the clerk, which tax forms do i need?

i helped him out and told him, take the 1040 (longest form).

are you closed on halloween? , ah yes halloween is now a federal holiday!

:-D :-D

[aholsber]

From the annals of "you can't make this stuff up"

At my office, we keep track of some of the really choice things that our customers say and do. So here goes:

Customer called up one of my techs and had the following conversation:

Cust: What exactally is spam? Is it something you can hunt like a squirrel?

Rep: Do you hunt a lot of squirrels?

Cust: When I was in survival training in the military, I did.

Rep: Ok.

One day, I sent an email to a customer telling him "account has been reset to the default password scheme" Received a reply back "is 'scheme' my default password".

Another time, a customer who kept repeatly getting disconnected instead of being put on hold, called back and in a heavy accent said "your hold music sounds a lot like dialtone".

One of my coworkers, a real jackoff who always complains about the workload but still has plenty of time to play solitare got busted yesterday by the boss for playing solitare.

So rather then not playing solitare, he rearranged his cube so that he is facing the isle and can see anyone coming down the row. What he doesn't realize is that his monitor is visible from a different angle where he can't see anyone looking from.

You just can't make this stuff up.

Alan

[hueynova]

» From the annals of "you can't make this stuff up"

»

It goes on: Microsoft had to change the wording in their software installation directions; people kept calling and saying, "I installed the software like the directions said, but the prompt now says to hit any key, and my keyboard doesnt HAVE an ANY key"!

[Ken Gargett]

one of my mates was standing in the sisteen chapel (not sure if i have the spelling) and was next to a nice family from the states - he had lived there in ny for a while. everyone was looking up at michaelangelo's work and eventually the guy's wife said, 'you know, you gotta presume that this was hand painted'.

[Wiley]

» » From the annals of "you can't make this stuff up"

» »

» It goes on: Microsoft had to change the wording in their software

» installation directions; people kept calling and saying, "I installed the

» software like the directions said, but the prompt now says to hit any key,

» and my keyboard doesnt HAVE an ANY key"!

My software company had prompts that said "Hit any key to continue..." back in the '80s. We had to take them out for this very reason. Customers seriously called us and said things like "I've been searching for that damned Any key for 30 minutes..."