Dictionary for decoding womens ads

[El Presidente]

Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads:

40-ish ........................ 49.

Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone.

Athletic ...................... No breasts

Average looking .......... Moooo.

Beautiful .................... Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure ... On medication.

Feminist .................... Fat

Free spirit .................. Junkie

Friendship first .......... Former ****.

New-Age ................... Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-Fashioned ........... No BJs.

Open-minded ............. Desperate

Outgoing ................... Loud and Embarrassing.

Professional .............. *****

Voluptuous ................ Very Fat

Hugh frame ............... Hugely Fat

Wants soul mate ....... Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry - You'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit - I'm ***!

[Havana Joe]

:rotfl:

[Jimmy2]

Good one...

[Loki]

Feminist could go either way.

I hear feminist and I think Big, Hairy arm pitted Bull Dyke.

[habanohal]

All very true if you really think about it !!!:-D

[genevapics]

Good read.

[Ken Gargett]

so you are in strife again, after last night.

[03king]

Ha!...I wonder what would happen if I printed that out and put it on the Fridge??!

[broozer]

now that is funny stuff! thanks for the morning laugh rob.

bruce

[Greg I]

It's funny cause it's true.

[Wiley]

Rob, Rob, such plagarism!

http://friendsofhabanos.com/board_entry.php?id=23321#p23321